Mid 30s TTC - Simply The BESH... BESHer than all the rest!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, ladies. I've had a widescreen telly installed and there's a big cupboard full of 80s teen movies if anyone's interested. New and more secure cages for our prey are being delivered soon. There's a big picture of a desert over the bar, a loudly ticking clock in the corner and bowls of raisins, currants and sultanas on every table; everything the discerning BESH could ask for...

Or me.

Still, as ski seems to think I've given up posting (possibly confusing me with Skater, for which implied coolness much thanks) possibly I am just Not Memorable.

I am, however, passive-agressive...

I think you're memorable, Cameltoe

I'm not real

massive snogs to vag. don't have anything useful to say that hasn't been said already so I'll just tell you that your hair looks lovely today instead. (don't feel like mindless violence-how weird is that?) Just don't beat yourself up (sure I'll be on for doing that tomorrow ) a bit of time to get next cycle checked n work out what the fuck you want, and remember It Is Perfectly Fucking Okay To Not Want Kids. Or to want them. Or,for that matter,to vascillate wildly on the subject (as I've said before I did a lot of vascillating after I had mine - and I'm not actually a witch).

Let's have a drinking competition! Starting with a flaming inferno (this caused a total alcoholic blackout on my recent sailing hol so seems like a jolly nice way to kick off the contest)

lot

And also there may be the odd word missing,was jabbing screen of my phone in an impassioned manner.

yes we are very real on fb. shame i can never remember who any more than three of you are in RL. lyra if you have a couple of beshies you'll get the rest through the mutual friends links. blue bols anyone? i want to drink like a 17 year old again

and an un beshie hug (oh go on then, a quick nipple twist too) to vag

I'm not on FB very much anymore, but I don't post anything about ttc on there, goodness - seems like lots of people I barely know have friended me on there - do I need to be airing baybee laundry to them??? (wondering exactly how stinky that stuff will be anyway - hmm, good thing tall fella does that chore - thanks honey!)

Hmmm... people I barely know... I guess I could find you all then, and add - if you're up to it? At least you are fun!

Little work out this morning - not much but enough to make me puff out my chest for 6 hours in pride over a tiny bit of physical exertion. Very tiny bit.

I should remember to work out BEFORE I drink, those bloody marys can be a nightmare to clean off of the gym equipment!

oh noes camel! I'm sorry - it's fallen back in to place now - I just got confused thinking that you were one of the people who fell by the way.

As for that lyra - she's not friended me either on fb, clearly my name's not "cool" enough for her. Fucking longwee, first it's "oooh look at my ladidah name", then it's "oooh check out my orphan baybeees". Show off.

Blue bols and lemonade? Don't mind if I do!

The hcs hasn't added me on fb either. Is it my uncool name?

Um - ladymaresnowboarder I don't even know how to find you on FB...

On my way, professor! (American movie reference, nevermind)

snowboarder? snowboarder? I've never been so insulted in my life - or at least since my last trot through AIBU.

I've got hawaiiancunt on my face!

ski I'm hoping you have only one Hawaiian friend on FB - otherwise someone has just received a very strange message from me!

Curly I actually have two, but the other one has a tendency to send videos of him playing with his willy. I hope you'll be able to spot that this isn't hawaiicunt.

Morning all,

What a pile of hairy bollocks, vag. Ditto everyone else.......

Also there seems to be a growing number of us who are being recommended various tests which are making us wonder how far to go with this. Myself included. Firstly I think its a shock to find out all is not as it 100% should be. To continue down the test route means actually taking this baby mallarkey seriously - something which we've all avoided at all costs.

Soooo, if you want a "fucking hell do I have to think about it, do I want to have all these tests" buddy, look no further.

For what its worth, I too went to GP with unrelated stuff & she kind of put me on this blood test / fertility appointment / H - whatever test rollercoaster without me thinking about it. I'm kind of bobbing along, still with head in sand (& soon with dye up fanjo).

Just rambling now............

FB - ARGH!!! I hate missing out but I'm absolutely paranoid I'll be outed as TTC on t'inter web.

That's if I haven't outed myself already - the boyf decided to tell me yesterday that when I'd had one too many sweet sherries with friends the other week I blurted out that if I had children I wanted them to be exactly like the 2 my one friend had. Sure that went down well with the other 2 mum's who's kids I totally dismissed. The boyf assures me everyone else was just as drunk, but I'm sure they'd never miss me mentioning children. Am also worried as I've NEVER been one to forget what I say or do when I've had a few (and that hasn't always been a good thing!)

ski

laurie we are discreet -honest! Any outing is done only by the person concerned (for that read scorp's current FB status!)

How did our drinking competition go? If we were down to the blue bols and lemonade, we're clearly drinking out of our parents 1970s drinks cabinets and therefore can't possibly be old enough to be talking baybeeeeeeeees.

Ski Is alright, I forgive you.

As for the testing, I'm looking at it as a) a way to indulge my lifetime hypochondria and b) a way to reassure myself that nothing is terrifyingly wrong. And if that's not true, I'd rather be poked and prodded now than fuck up my sex life (more than it is already) for another year, only to discover that I'm barren and that we could have been having nice, pressure-free fun sex all that time.

Indeed, I am looking on the bright side today.

Morning darlings, mwah mwah.

As you can see, I am getting the hang of this off work swanning around lark. I quite wish I wasn't starting my new job on Monday.

I've been on facecrack this morning and I have NO NEW FRIEND REQUESTS. I AM BEING IGNORED.

Does anyone think this whole baby thing just isn't going to happen to them? I just can't picture it happening to us at all somehow. I think that's probably just me being overly gloomy and I can't actually see in the to future Mystic Meg style, but still.

Tomorrow morning I get to go and have my "lumpy" thyroid ultrasounded. What fun.

PS Scorps promising imaginary symptoms there for you!

scorp has promising imaginary symptoms every month...

Ski I just want you to know you were my first! That was a great line, well done!

I've got Curly now too, and the one with the fringe (although she didn't recognize me in my clever disguise)!

Camel, come join us on FB - no TTC ever mentioned. Although I have indeed outed myself as 'broody'. But that's all. Most people who know me in RL know this anyway, so is hardly revelation of the decade.

CosmoSmallpiece, they are indeed promising. They're very real, but have decided that must just be pre-R2D2 rubbishness. Got a bit of brownish stuff last night (which would be perfectly timing for implantation bleed, but I know it's not) and even though my temp is still up, so will prolly get the metal cunt early. Have worked summat out - used to OV early, then get crippling mastalgia for 10 days before R2, one day of mild PMT, one day of hyper-energy then BAM: the squeaking sqaut-bot arrived. Since I've started OVing late, seem to feel sick, weird womb flutterings, tender boobs and need to wee all the time. ie - bastard updiff symptoms. My body is playing sick jokes on me.

Thank you for ploughing (or not) through Scorp's 557th dreary 2WOOFL ramble this week

On the brightside, Cuntshine has contacted me on FB, but not Lyra. I KNEW everyone hates me, waaaaah

My lesbian doctor whispered sweet somethings in my ear today and I'm back on the upswing and all optimistic that an actual BFP will happen this time.

In any event my new 3 yr old ENGLISH black lab dog will be here around Nov 1 just to keep my spirits up. I hear his fur is great for catching the sobs of an evil shrivelled hag.

If I could find Camel or Cosmosis I'd befriend on the FB ---

Laurie - I'm a stealth baybee-wanter too, it wasn't until this month that my own mother even knew any specifics. We'd just kept telling everyone "we're working on it!" and left it at that. So I'm likely to be discreet on FB as well. That is - until I get a positive result, then all bets are off!

I'm sorry, I'm fucking stupid. I forgot that "Gin Palace" was a person, not a group, so didn't realise I would need to befriend you all individually. I told you I don't use FB very much. Forgive me?

Anyway, I think I've done it now, except for her wit' fringe and lovely old fashioned name - she's not accepting any new friends, miss hoity toity eh??

Promise me again that SWI will not be mentioned on FB? I'm still anti-baby for RL purposes.

Yay I has a fwiend on FB. I'm not being ignored after all. HawaiianCunt I'll see if I can stalk you and track you down.

PS am doing my Extreme impression and am in dressinggown. It doesn't have fagash on it, but it does have some very fetching bleach stains.