Mid 30s TTC - Simply The BESH... BESHer than all the rest!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, ladies. I've had a widescreen telly installed and there's a big cupboard full of 80s teen movies if anyone's interested. New and more secure cages for our prey are being delivered soon. There's a big picture of a desert over the bar, a loudly ticking clock in the corner and bowls of raisins, currants and sultanas on every table; everything the discerning BESH could ask for...

Thanks Camel. Oved on D18/19, today is D25, so only a week ago. Cycle is anywhere between 27-30 days. The nausea is bad enough that I think I would remember if I had generally felt sicky the week before R2D2 in the past, but you never know. I suppose that in the past, I could've completely ignored it as I wouldn't've been thinking about updiff signs, etc. I asked my Mum if she could remember me ever feeling sick in the run-up to my RTOD and she says no - and as we're both moaning minnies, I would've whinged about it non-stop to her (I moved back in for a while, several years ago, when v. ill). Arrrrgh, the torment! Probably my body deciding to throw in a new R2D2 symptom of nausea to coincide with TTC, in order to completely do my head in

The stretchy-stretchy does sound horrendous, but yet not as horrific as an actual human being coming out of there. You were hoping for an oily strum, weren't you? 'Fess up!

sneaking on - public sector so most have gone home now

went to dr this am - "emergency appt" about s'thing else, got the gp I was talking of conception to, blood test results in and according to day 21 ones I am not ovulating. I asked whether, since blood was taken on day 21 but it's now day 30 and no droid, and cycles are at least 33 days if not far longer, this could be the reason. She said no.

And therefore I am as barren as barren can be and need all the tests in the world. My face must have told a story as she said gove her a call when I want to be referred - she didn't push for it then and there.

I'm not sure how far I want to go with this. Every test, every actual move to find out is one further step to admitting it might be what I want. If I'd never started trying I could blithely say "oh I never wanted kids". Now I am feeling committed. And a bit trapped.

So that's all really. Serves me right for being blase about the 2WOOFLing yesterday.

On the upside I've eaten loads and loads today and had two calorific coffees. Bikini here I come.....

VAG Oh blimey. Perhaps Cheggers can help you think about all this mess and put a clearer perspective on this?

I think you're allowed to eat loads when you're pissed off, it's the rules or something.

Oh VAG how utterly irksome . I would be EXACTLY the same in your position wondering probably whether half-assed commitment to having a baby was enough to put myself through the torment of assisted conception. Perhaps it was just this month but? Are you going to go through similar tests next month?

Please will someone tell me why posts have been deleted? That is th virtual equivalent of someone telling you that they have been sworn to secret so they can't spill some golden nugget of info . Feeling left out

Trog, someone mentioned something about someone else on the thread going somewhere beginning with B. For some reason they weren't supposed to mention it on here, and had to retract their comments. I didn't understand any of it but then I have resisted joining the BESH facebook posse and i think the answer may lie there.

Thanks guys. I am trying to tell myself that it's simply an anovulatory month . Feels a bit like confirmation of what I always felt: that my body isn't up to this.

Right - off home for a v v large gin. Pah to the world, I say. Have nice evenings,all.

Gotcha Lyra well that certainly makes sense. Loose lips sink ships.

VAG get me one poured out too. I'm coming to join ya

I have emailed cunty with an explanation.

Lyra, Join us, Stalk us - be at one with us and our ovaries skipping freely 'cross 't web!

VAG Ha! Nice try, but you don't get away without a torn "thing" just because you're not ovulating. You can buy some eggs from some gloriously beautiful Ukranian teenager and still go through childbirth yourself!

VAG what a titwank. BUT - I have had my day 21 bloods taken three times. First time, no ov. Straight off to the gynae who said "one time does not a barren BESH make - do it again". Twice more, and I ov'd on both of those.

Gynae looked at all my cycle lengths (I have been keeping track over last couple of years because of my PCOS), and said that it's likely that I ov'd on most/all cycles that were 33 days-ish or less. Anything over 35 and it's less likely.

Things to think about:

1. Everyone has anovulatory cycles once in a while, could be sumfink and nuffink, or

1. You might have PCOS (like me, yay, I need a PCOS buddy).

1. If you do, then at least they know what it is and can address the problem, starting with e.g. clomid to make you ovulate. Clomid are in the form of tablets that even your GP can give you, so you don't have to think about serious assisted conception issues right from the off. Just some tablets (with a slightly increased risk of twins, but they can ultrasound scan you to watch out for that).

So. No need to panic just yet. No need to do anything immediately either. Prolly a good time for a chat with MrVAG though.

x-posted with everyone who said "it could just be anovulatory cycle".

Think I actually want a PCOS buddy. Maybe I should look for one elsewhere instead of trying to drag VAG into my Pit of PCOS.

Poor VAG . Big un-MN hug

Of course, it probably is 'just' an anovulatory month and for all you know, if you repeated the tests next month, they'd show a normal ovulation. Not that that helps now and I know I'd be telling myself it was game over if I was in the same boat. Having the odd anovulatory cycle is not abnormal and can affect women of any age. One duff month does not a childless future make.

Personally, I would go through all the tests, but I am truly baybee-mad. But even if I wasn't as obsessed as I am (hard not to be more so), I would do them anyway, because I'd be thinking 'what if?' for the rest of my life, once it was all truly too late, but again, that is me and only you know what is best for you and your DH. Take some time to not think about it and then to think about it (if you get me). TTC at our age does feel like a deadline looming and I'm prolly guiltier than most for letting that get to me, but the truth is always that 'this month' - whichever month it is - is not the last month it'll ever be possible for us lot.

I think this calls for something special: David! An absinthe spritzer for VAG here!
Down in one.

I have an ovarian cyst \O/

Can I be in your gang - was only discoverd when they were firkling around doing a transverse scan after my mc hammer

Camel yes, like cheggers I've also resorted to the assisted conception route. (needs to sound more like a holiday, doesn't it? ) Like most of you, I never wanted to get this far and I'm amazed I actually have.

After an ectopic that motivated us to actually get married. We started out the same way, temping, sexing, waiting - Ov predictors, sexing, waiting. Did that madness for about 3.5 years and finally relented to seeing someone about assistance.

My first test was an HSG, I have a fully blocked (due to ectopic) and partially blocked tube. So we just finished our first IVF attempt, found out last week it was babyfail.

Anyone for a hand of poker? Gin's on me! Ugh- I'm also feeling left out of the b word conversation!!! I've been thinking of all the bad b-words, frankly baybee was first on my list.

"massage" sounds nice... "stretching" not so much! I try not to stretch certain things, my fanjo is one of them!

cunty just went through an ovarian cyst thing during my IVF attempt. It was found as part of the regular checks to make sure I wasn't producing folls the first month, they aspirated (poked it and drained it) and I was back up and running - still kept on with full schedule of IVF even. Some docs let them go away on their own, takes about a week.

Tall fella was in the darkened room, he almost passed out when they asked him to hold the test tubes of fluid! ha ha ha - I'm a nurse's kid, so I wanted to see them. It was a big one 55mm.

I need another bloody mary! Do I still have time to work out?

Cunty, no you can't be in my gang I'm afraid, ONE ovarian cyst, pah. To get a diagnosis of PCOS you need at least a dozen in a single ovary!

Ski, how do I join the facebook posse...

Lyra I have polycyctic kidneys, does that qualify?

KNEW you wouldn't be able to resist the call of Facebook! I can't remember how you locate, ski put a link up years ago, I think at the beginning of th last thread...

What is wrong with my typing and spelling?? I'm such a fucking JD today

lyra If you can't find the link, search for "Gin Palace" and introduce yourself to sk8ter girl.

Weird archaic-language-Xpost with Lyra, there! But shows everyone says the same thing about one anovulatory cycle. Big girly hugs all round to the PCOS Posse. Knocks my crap luteal phase into a cocked hat.

Mmmm, cocked hat - do they sell those on Lovehoney?

Joind us on FB, Lyra! We never mention TTC, but we do stalk each other's photos eagerly And you learn fascinating stuff - we never knew Cheggers is so-called because she is actually married to Keith Chegwin. Who'da thunk it?

Imagine my surprise to discover that extremesitting does indeed sport a dressing-gown in every single photo opportunity!

PS Ski I only just saw your last post - 'psychosomatic'? How dare you! Psychosomatic would mean I was unaware of appropriating other or non-related symptoms as pg ones. Whereas I am fully cognisant of my lunacy.

PPS Cunty - only a JD just today? Hmm?

I can see youuuuuu!

On FB.

I'm going to join. Where is skater anyway? And everyone else?

You're all REAL.

Longwee has a beautiful, unusual name. I have never met anyone called that .

You. Have. Not. Made. Friends. With. Me. Yet.

Or me I have a cool Old Lady name (shaddap, let me believe that) and a fringe.