Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic>

[triggerhappybaby]

We've taken delivery of a fine new sofa. Come and rest here

of course we are all fabulous, we live in a Gin Palace don't we!

ski you testing then?

cosmosis 6 months?! that is nothing... I think am under BOD - if we going on 'old' BOD not new daily mail BOD...

scorp you are so glam...

I have to wait for Ski... she is probably busy working, whereas I have only just remembered to put my knickers on today

I'm feeling remarkably upbeat today. Think it's that I have realised there is no chance of BFP this month so the pressure is off.

Forgot to mention before... OH's little swimmers test is on Monday and he is not allowed to excite himself in any way for three days before his appointment. Turns out those three days are the precious SWI days this month! Luck o the irish I tells ya! A month off will do me no harm, though I'm sure I will obsess during the 2WW anyways!

extreme I have added you and sent you the details of "the others". Can't you get him to do some now and pop them in the ice-cube tray?

iggy I dunno... I don't know what to do. This is my good ovary so I could POAS tomorrow - or I could ignore it and hope it goes away. That method works well for the under-17s.

extreme don't bother with knickers - comando all the way...

oh yes - agree about month off - feel cheerier this month as I knew we had missed the key dates last month, so wasn't stressing.

ski ignore it - good plan... always good to wait as long as you can...

ski I would ignore for a couple more days. Maybe see what's happened by Saturday. good excuse to get a few more gins in, just plead ignorance.

chEGGs are you around today? Still bloaty?

"good" ovary? does this mean the other one produces devil eggs? Am I supposed to have a good one and a bad one??

(finds something else to worry about)

iggy Glam? Get back to the Onions pics, methinks!

extreme you make stalking very hard. Please post some humiliating pics ASAP... Your Majesty

I have had a sudden attack of the shys and am worrying (good job I've managed to hide the fact that I am a massive overworrier from everyone so far) that everyone will think I am boring/unfunny/fat/etc. Was bullied at school so always think everyone will eventually think I'm crap Snap out of it, woman!

Ooooh, everyone has proper houses and actually do stuff and have proper lives and look like yer actual real grown-ups, whereas I live in a titchy flat and spend my life mainly reading, lurking about on t'tinterweb, harassing TYF and worrying. Mainly worrying. I am very, very dull. Still live like I've just left uni and dunno what to do with my life yet. Hmmmm.

one produces 'good' babies who sleep through straight away and feed healthily and predictably, one produces 'challenging' babies who cry loads and don't 'latch on' and end up shagging randoms round the back of the bins at 13.

Oh scorps .

You must know we are the most non-judgemental people going! Your circumstances are of no import. You are a witty and fabulous individual and your conversation is very engaging. Nothing more from virtual friends is expected or needed.

Now stop stressing and revel in your total coolitude for being in a friendship group with such gorgeous types!

I'm ditching that beatch from Mad men as I have fallen for another...

Scorp if this breeding thang doesn't work out then you are next on my list.... luvvvvverr!

I now must go and research the issue with stalking me. I suspect its due to the fact that there are little or no pics of me on my FB. This is because an Ex lover wanted to be my friend on it and I like him to think of me as being as tight as i was at 22. He has ditched me on there now so I can now expose the gurning/ lard/ general unpleasantness of my face!

My stepson's girlfiend has put a pic up of me looking like a Ukranian shot-putter, just after I managed to remove the one in which I had Fisher Price hair. So there is no fear that any photo of anyone else can look as chronic as that one.

Can we just all agree we are uber babes and too cool for school and leave it at that?

scorps - I thought you looked exactly as ethereal as your name suggested, and love 'chatting' to you here. I can confess to being a drooling fool in social situations and if we were all to meet in real life I would be the tongue-tied dunce in the corner. Seriously - I have virtually nothing to say for myself in social settings sometimes. It is cringingly embarrassing but being aware of this just makes it worse. A "friend" once told another friend that I was funnier on MSN than in real life. Given you're all way funnier than me, you can extrapolate just how painfully odd I am in RL. Hey ho. I quite like having a bolshier alter-ego.

Hooray for the Palace I say! Now, who wants a Romantic?

I'm a bit too excited!

Hooray for the palace too!

Where else can you spend all day chatting about sex on the internet with strangers?

actually - don't tell me...

Cosmo is right - we are all cool minxes, yay! I also have a minger pic - 'BIL' posted a pic of my in a fucking F1 jumpsuit opening my mouth to talk and closing my eyes at the same time. It's most alluring.

VAG Ethereal? I heart you! I'm also shyer and less funny in RL and TYF has reet proper Social Phobia, so I wouldn't judge you for that. For your shoes, yes, but not for that

Extreme I refuse to believe you are as rough as you claim. You are a BESH, for chrissakes, woman! We have a strict fabulousness policy, don't you know that?

BTW, how lush are our future offspring going to be? Everyone's menz are hothothot too! That is, of course, presuming said offsring come from the GOOD ovary

PS Baggsy Rosetti (the dark Romantic). The rest of you buggers can have sloppy seconds or nowt...

Cosmosis Well it was this ovary which worked last time... and the other one must be crap because I thought you were guaranteed a pg post-mc.

Scorpette We must all have been bullied at school here. The "Heathers" from my old school who bullied me mercilessly all got married & pg in their early-20s. They're all now chunky & middle-aged looking. The one in particular who used to follow me around school changing "P-I-G" looks in her 40s and her best friend is a porker. I've wondered if I should email her friend and tell her how much this woman hates fat people... Wankers.

Oh and if it's any consolation Scorpy, jailbait and I are about to move in to a 327 euro a month flat - so you can just imagine the luxury involved there. The plan though is to save as much money as is humanely possible in the next year - so that I can spunk it on a post-pregnancy ski holiday in south america obviously - but don't tell him!

re: minger pics - I keep getting photographed with 5'11" girls who weigh 8 stone.

Ski - one of my favourite obsessions hobbies is finding evil beyatches who used to make my life a misery at school (who were usually the 'pretty' girls, whilst I looked like a semi-feral 9 yr old of indiscriminate gender, with virulent acne) and crowing over how rough, bloaty and haggard they look now. I shall ignore the fact that they're nearly all mums, so could blame looking rank on the stresses of motherhood, and attribute it all on my superior genes, etc., etc.

I also saw a cowbag I was at school with on the bus t'other day. She was with her teenage daughter... and her daughter's child. Gran at 36 - nice.

Swing those judgeypants!

{shock] scorpy - gran at 36! Bet it was Darren behind the bike sheds too.

pesky emoticons!

Hilariously, I think they guy who knocked up the school 'friend' was called Darren, if I recall. But then again, most boys were called Darren back then.