Have I missed the boat? is 35 too old to conceive?

[BrandySnaps1]

Have been trying for 7 months, brought ovulation sticks, still nada. Last month period was 4 days late - i was elated especially as i have been tracking like clockwork since the summer.

Period came and the cramps were the worst they have ever been and very heavy flow. Would have loved to have had 2/3 children, but am now worried as Im 35 and focused on my career all this time. Only to quit last year due to burn out and now focusing on mental and physical health.

Seems like a catch 22 situation and now I feel stuck, anxious, worried, did i make the right decision with anything? No mat leave, no children. Could really use some helpful opinions please.

7 months isn't that long in TTC terms but as you're 35 I think you can access fertility testing via your GP now you've been trying for 6+months? That might be a good place to start and give you a bit more info! Also 35 is well within the realms of normal age to start having children, just look at the threads on the TTC board here 😊

Keep going OP. I had a baby at 42 x

I had mine at 36 and 41.

TTC can be a slog - make a GP appointment so you can be checked out (and your other half too). Good luck

Keep going. I was 36 when I had my first. It's surprising how many women have their first child over 40, so at 35 you're ahead

37 and 45 here! Keep trying

Not too late at all. I'm 38, 39 this year and I'm pregnant. I had my first at 35.

The stress and anxiety won't help regardless!

Conceived naturally at 35 but took around 9-10 months & tracker app.

Start being worried when it takes longer than a year or two OP

I hope not, OP. Seeing as I turned 39 today and we’ve only just started trying! It can take longer when you’re older, you’ve no need to worry after seven months.

Keep going, I'm 37 and gave birth to my first last month, prior to conception I was feeling the same as you so got a fertility check done privately for peace of mind. It alleviated a lot of the stress and then I conceived shortly after

There is not enough said about TTC and the difficulties as we get older. Listen to the podcast on The Huberman Lab with Dr Natalie Crawford. She is a fertility expert and it is so interesting and factual. It may really help you. It definitely has me! Xx

I’m 36 and have been trying with zero success for 15 months. However, fertility tests show there’s nothing wrong with me or my partner (we’re 36 and 41). I think our problem might be that my partner has just recovered from a chronic illness and he was previously only well enough to have sex once a month when I was ovulating. He’s recovered now and we’re hopeful that by regularly having sex then we will now conceive.

My point with this oversharing is that it’s so unlikely to conceive per cycle even when everything is perfect with people’s fertility that it can take months. The right sperm has to be lined up with the right egg at the right time. If you’re not having sex every other day between the end of your period and the end of ovulating then you will reduce your chances a lot. Keep trying.

I’m 35 and pregnant with my first, I’ll be 36 when baby is born.

We were lucky to conceive very quickly but we had a couple of months where it didn’t happen and I found once I got out of my head it happened straight away.

Have a think about acupuncture for fertility too. I did it and honestly think it’s what balanced my body out after being on the pill so long, the lady I went to treats lots of people for fertility. I don’t know if it’s medically proven but I certainly felt better mentally when having it and have continued through my pregnancy.

The month I conceived my partner also took male fertility vitamins which might have helped. I had a couple of massages and kept busy with other things to not think about conceiving so much. We had sex almost every day from my period ending to the end of my fertile window, I ovulate very soon after period ending so we had to be quick! Have to admit it was a big surprise that we got a positive that month as I was so chilled out about it I was convinced it was my reset month and nothing would happen but here we are!

Who knows OP.

Not helpful I know but at your age I would think your individual fertility is more of an issue than age. If it is an issue at all. I.e if you find it takes you a while to conceive now, it might have taken the same time when you were 24. And it might take the same time (fast, slow or not at all) at 42.

I had a baby in my early 40s , first month of TTC, no problems. Lots of women do. But it’s your individual circumstances and fertility that count. And anyway, any difficulties might be your partner…

Good luck, 7 months isn’t that long!

I echo 7 months isn't that long, 35 isn't that old and there are loads of options BUT check what the criteria is for fertility help on the nhs in your area- it may be something like you had to have started trying at 33 and been trying for over a year before they help you. I remember some friends of friends having issues accessing it because they "started too late"
Fwiw, took me 10 months to conceive at 28.

I turned 35 in October and I've just had a positive test after first month of trying. Not impossible!

It might not be your age at all, just how long it takes you personally to fall pregnant. I have become pregnant at 23 and 35 first time, anecdotal but age played no part for me.

This is great for you, but not helpful in this circumstance?

thanks all. Im taking folic acid and do find when stressed/anxious neither me or DH can even think about sex and every month that passes it gets more stressful. I will book an appointment with GP though to see what they can offer. Encouraging to hear those 40+ have also conceived naturally. Thank you for sharing because it can really seem so lonely.

I had to leave my job due to the stress and have been part time working/odd jobs for the last year which has been fine, however now thinking about a baby and no mat leave is stressful. Not sure if I made the right decision and even thinking about going back into full time work when trying to conceive/even be pregnant worries me because i know how discriminatory companies can be.

Lots get pregnant at that age or older. For me it didn't happen.

My first pregnancy was age 26.
Second age 35.
Miscarriage and ectopic in between. Bad endometriosis.. but it happened. Please don't give up.
My best friend had her first child age 38 and second age 41.

Thank you . i have so bought so many ovulation sticks that waiting for the result when i see the blank circle makes my heart drop. The sticks are also expensive and im going through so many. i have the apps too but the more i seem to try the more disappointed i get.

You should read It Starts With the Egg by Rebecca Fett, and do the Day 3 Fertility Blood Test fertility test by Medi Checks - your husband can also do the Male Fertility Test by Medi Checks - you will get a comprehensive idea of how it all works, and what you can do to increase your odds.

@BrandySnaps1 Get some cheap ovulation strips to use alongside the digital ones - you can get a big box of those for a lot less than the digital tests, and you can use those every day/more than once a day and just use the digital ones when you start to see your LH levels rising and you know you're getting closer to ovulation. I started ovulation tracking after a loss last September (I'm 37) and I find now that I have a reasonable understanding of my cycle I can use the cheap strips for about a week each month and only need to use 3 digital tests before I find peak. Hopefully that might save you a bit of money!

As you're over 35 and have been trying for more than 6 months, definitely get an appointment with your GP for some fertility tests (or get a private fertility check-up if you can afford it) - even if it doesn't show anything is wrong it might give you some peace of mind and reduce your stress levels a bit.

35 is young nowadays. You'll actually find many women are now having their first late 30s, 40s.
Your not going to wake up overnight and your fertility has fell off a cliff. Its a gradual decline and the whole over 35 shit is based on a very old study.
The only way you can assess your own fertility is to do the tests. Some women are incredibly fertile in their 40s and some women have a diminished egg resevere even by the time they are 30. Its individual. Don't judge yourself based on an ancient study.
I'm 38 with my first. Midwife told me I'm young.
My amh is still very high
The average age of having first children is now in 30s.