Have I missed the boat? is 35 too old to conceive?

[BrandySnaps1]

Have been trying for 7 months, brought ovulation sticks, still nada. Last month period was 4 days late - i was elated especially as i have been tracking like clockwork since the summer.

Period came and the cramps were the worst they have ever been and very heavy flow. Would have loved to have had 2/3 children, but am now worried as Im 35 and focused on my career all this time. Only to quit last year due to burn out and now focusing on mental and physical health.

Seems like a catch 22 situation and now I feel stuck, anxious, worried, did i make the right decision with anything? No mat leave, no children. Could really use some helpful opinions please.

Nhs gp will be interested in private hormone and fertility tests / hertility health - mine was

Definitely not too old! My NCT group was average age 36. Two of us had fallen pregnant quickly, three took ages to conceive and three had IVF. Most of the group have gone onto have a second child pretty quickly too. Best of luck x

First at 37 no 2 at 39.
Took about a year with number one. GP said to come back after a 1yr of trying. You could always tell the GP you have been trying for a year if you want to get their advice.

I did the basal body temping as my cycle was irregular at 32 to 38 days.
Keep thermometer beside the bed. Stick it in before getting out of bed.
Note the temp on a chart.
I kept this chart just under the bed on my side to hide my acute obsession and reduce pressure on DH 😁
The temp will go up slightly when you are ovulating.
(Note: alcohol the night before makes temp go up too).
Temp will go back down after ovulation, but will stay up if you are pregnant.

I tracked egg white mucus too but that was a bit unreliable too as sometimes it didn't seem to line up with the temps, but you can take a shot during the egg white mucus too. I bought cheap ovulation sticks too but again they sometimes didn't line up.
But they confirmed that I had ovulated I guess.

SMEP helped me. I was 36 and 38. First time took 18 months and then second was on first attempt so I don’t know what was going on.

7months isn’t a really long time but at 35 I would go to GP. Depending on your area o think over 35 you can get on IVF wait lists after 6months of trying. We were on the wait list and then got pregnant. I think it somehow took some pressure off.

I had my first at 39 and second at 43 so you are not late if you have a good egg reserve and if your husband has quality sperm . You need to get initial checks done at your GP though to make sure you both still have good fertility. I mentioned my GP aged 36 when we first started trying and he said we better do some tests considering my age. Right enough it turned out we did need IVF. Having tests done saved us time and unnecessary extra heartache.

Please be aware of people quoting their timeframes from doctors etc, it does depend on what area you are in as to what the criteria for help is, regardless of what the NICE guidelines are...unless they have made it fair now

Have you considered a private fertility mot? Check your uterus, antral follicle count, AMH level, and partner’s sperm count.

If the uncertainty is stressing you out, this could at least give you feel for whether you should keep on trying vs explore more testing.

Def 2nd this

I would definitely check your AMH levels. It's essentially your egg count and how many years fertility you have left.

Yes lots of people can get pregnant at 40+ but there are many people you can't get pregnant that late on in life. Hopefully you're the former

My amh is high
My friend of same age - hers is very low

Shes had 5 x ivf - to include 1 miscarriage

Her and her partner both each have a known issue / condition too

Honestly - 150 gbp to hertility health -, is very helpful - they loook @ amh
And many other things

I'm 33 and took me a year and a half, I was also tracking. Go to the gp and ask for testing. I wouldn't wait around it's really hard going mentally.

Had my first child the day before my 41st birthday. Only started looking into pregnancy at 37 due to life circumstances.

Here's what I did:

Booked a private fertility assessment - it's well worth it if you can pay a couple of hundred quid. It's worth it as it's quicker and more comprehensive. I had a HyCosy (minor procedure) which flushed out the Fallopian tubes and often results in conception.

Read It Starts With The Egg and followed all the advice

I took pre-conception multi vit, ubiquinol etc as advised in the above book

I chucked away all my ovulation sticks - they are misunderstood and inaccurate (plus an expensive rip-off). The actual ovulation may be within a teeny tiny window that the stick misses. As long as you know your ovulation day and are having intercourse in the week before ovulation day that's what matters (assuming sperm and egg are working normally.). You do not need ovulation sticks to tell you when you're ovulating. Use the NHS advice on logging basal temperature on a chart and tracking it that way. Use an app like Fertility Friend to log. I attended a free course on understanding when you ovulate by the NHS, but it's straightforward.

Relax and stop / reduce drinking. Eat healthily (fertility foods recommended in the above book).

In London I barely ever meet new mums under 35, and everyone in my NCT group was 40+ - it's normal here. Don't let others taint your view. That doesn't mean it's easy, but the cliff at 35 has been disproven and it's unhelpful. If you are healthy, fit and informed there is no reason why you should have a healthy pregnancy and child.

Don't kick yourself. There are pros and cons to having children older, nobody gets ALL the pros no matter which path they take.

BBT - get a thermometer designed for BBT with two decimal places (mine was about a tenner off Amazon). Use the Fertility Friend app which is free and the easiest to understand. Take your temp every morning before speaking or standing up. The time you take it should be the same every day or not more than half an hour different at most.

Start doing the temps as soon as your thermometer arrives, even if mid cycle. Once you have a full cycle to look at, if everything isn't obvious you can post your chart on here and ask for advice interpreting it. People are really good at helping! Fertility Friend has an option to download a copy of your chart which you can use.

Hope that helps. Happy to help more if you need.

Oh! And some things may affect your temps. More than a glass of wine affected mine the next day, but other people will have different tolerance. Also you do ideally need about five hours sleep right before you do the temp upon waking. If you can't manage this I'd still recommend doing the temps anyway - you will still be able to confirm ovulation but your chart just may not be quite so perfect.

Of course isn't too old. You can't change the past so don't waste energy worrying about it. It sounds like you could have had a chemical pregnancy last month? I'd consider getting private fertility testing for you and your partner. 7 months really isn't that long, at 35,

If you can afford it (around £500) go for a private fertility test for you & your partner, much more informative & quicker than NHS testing!
I've just had our first at 41, we TTC for 6 months, then had a miscarriage, then TTC another 6 months, baby boy is 16 days old. Good luck

I had DS1 at 35, DD at 37/38 and DS2 at 40.

How's everyone getting on. 6dpo today and no symptoms of yet.

Im due on at the end of the week. Think we timed it right but who knows. Only if Im over a week late will I take a PT. Last month I was few days late but I think i had a chemical pregnancy. My cramps were the worst theyve ever been and I had extreme fatigue. I got my hopes up so trying to remain calm. The trials of being a woman...

Are you trying for your first?

After reading into this it sounds like youre right. I had all of these symtpoms - i was around 5 days late but i didnt take a test so i suppose ill never know..

Trying for my 3rd. I have 2 sons 10 amd 8 from previous marriage. Ttc 1st and last with partner of 4 years I'm 42 years old he is 39.we just desperately want one together. Good luck for end of week. Your strong not testing before a week late. I'd be caving I think.

We fell pregnant in May last year for 1st time but I had MC in July. So I know we can get pregnant I guess my age makes the process longer and more stressful. I have accupuncture tomorrow for first time to see if it helps.

I was 38.....

Had you been trying long?

I had a baby at 37 (conceived 36) and a baby at 40 (conceived 40) and it took me at least a year to get pregnant both times. I wouldn’t assume it won’t happen and I would see your GP for advice. I think some women do struggle to conceive in their late 30s, but not necessarily as many as the media/society would have you believe.