🌈 TTC after miscarriage thread 9 🌈💕🤞⭐️

[bunnykins123]

@LuckyMoonstone @MrsCristiano @Astar21 @curliegirlie @emhope @HoneyPea @FfayeN @Mabelledox @Indianna2006 @mummatara @Skylark1990 @theblueflowers

New thread ladies - please add anyone I've missed 💕

@MrsCristiano hope you're okay, lovely. It sometimes feels like it's easier holding it all in and pretending things are fine, when actually it's just better to let it all out.

@pangolin84 so sorry it's not the outcome you wanted, after all of that uncertainty. Hope you are doing okay x

@Margo34 oh that’s quite cute, I hope he enjoyed finding it!

@MrsCristiano big big hugs from me, hope you’re feeling a bit better today

Having a bad day today :(
Just extremely worried about everything and over-thinking.
Did anyone else feel like they lost some friends after m/c? Couple of my friends never really bothered to get in touch following m/c at all and I feel lonely and isolated. Everywhere I go, there are babies. Every day I get more and more isolated and scared that depression might be creeping in. I just really want a baby and don't know how to cope if it doesn't happen 😭
So sorry for this rant.

Hi @Pancake92 I'm brand new here so don't know anyone's situation just yet, so sorry to hear of your mc and how you're feeling.

I've only told a couple of very close friends about mine (it was an early one and my first pregnancy so nothing compared to what many ladies go through) but I'd already told them I was pregnant so I had to say.

Do you have even one close/best friend or family member you can be close with? Sometimes I've noticed hard times show true friends, and that can be lonely.

Do you mind me asking how far along you were? How long have you been ttc?

I have the worries too as I'm 38 this year and I'm constantly bombarded with facts etc.

Mentally if you feel yourself falling into a hole please reach out to spend time with at least someone close you can trust, just to be around.

Xxx

Hi @Pancake92 sorry to read you've had a bad day.

I found some comfort in listening to some people's stories and experiences on youtube - this helped me realise how many women go through difficulties. It also helped me to process how I was feeling in the absense of speaking to friends. I told my friends and they were supportive but it's a very difficult thing to have to go through and to be honest, I didn't appreciate the impact of MC until I experienced myself, so please try to not focus on friends not getting in touch.

I also got away from the house for a couple of days which helped enormously. Is that a possibility maybe?

Tomorrow is a new day xx

Lots of love @MrsCristiano hope you're feeling a bit better now 💕

@pangolin84 big hugs sorry what a rubbish outcome

@Margo34 did he find his gin & tonic surprise?

@Pancake92 Sorry you're having a rubbish day. It really helped me chatting to everyone on here they get the bad days. It also helped me come to terms with the fact it happened to us that as much as it's painful to go through it happens so so often made me feel less useless and crappy that it is nothing we did it's just a part of the pregnancy process. The body is cruel why can't it make up its mind earlier if it's a viable one or not ☹️

I hope you're okay @Pancake92. I think we all go through days like that- I've certainly had moments of panic that it will just never happen for us. Having places like this to rant away is helpful, and also trying to plan things outside of TTC has been a life saver for me. I'm no longer thinking about 'what if I'm pregnant' for future plans, and making sure I do everything that I couldn't do if I had children. It makes me feel less resentful of how much time TTC takes up. We will get there x

I'm CD12 today and had my first flashing smiley on Clearblue. I had 10 of the buggers last cycle, hoping it's not like that again! No fertile signs yet so I think it will be a while.

How is everyone?

Thank you so so much everyone for your kind words. I will reply when my thoughts are a bit clearer as everything feels over the place just now!
Thank you again ❤❤🌷

@theblueflowers ahhh the joyous 'fertile period!' How are you feeling about ttc this cycle? I'm cd13 and gearing up for O so we are starting dtd from tonight onwards. I'm exhausted just thinking about it!

@Westsussex welcome to the group! I'm the same age as you and have the exact same concerns. I've had 3 consecutive miscarriages which I'm going through tests now to see if there is anything that can be fixed that caused them. Have you had any tests done?

@Pancake92 awh hun, I'm sorry you feel that way. It's very normal to have these moments and with time, it does get easier. I think when it comes to real life friends, unless you've been through a miscarriage, it's hard to know what to say. These forums are great to get perspective from ladies also going through the same thing and also to have a good 'ol vent. I also feel like everyone I see if pregnant atm which feels even more cruel! Big hugs, you're not alone 💕

@MrsCristiano how are you doing today?? Hope you're feeling a bit better!

So ladies I have news - remember I said a few days ago that NHS refused to have a consultation with me for 3 months (still amazed at this 🙄) after they had received my bloods back as they were too busy? WELL, I had a revised letter yesterday saying I now have an appt beginning of sept 👏 it's not perfect but I'll take that! Let's we how many things my tests throw up. oh gawd....🫣

Hi @bunnykins123 it's great to talk to someone who's the same age as me going through a similar journey, I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. I've not been offered anything by the NHS, when I'd been bleeding for ten ish days I spoke to our EPU and the lady said as I was in no paid I wasn't entitled to any help at all and just had to bleed out.

Maybe I should contact my doctor as he doesn't know, I've only ever spoken to a midwife on 111 and the EPU. I would like to have tests if that was an option for me, because as you know, the worry is never ending isn't it.

I might give them a call on Monday, I'm not expecting much help but worth getting the details on record maybe xx

Really hoping for some positive news for you from your tests soon 💞

@bunnykins123 that's great news about the appointment! That timeline makes much more sense. Really hope it's going to give you some answers 🤞🏻

I've got quite low expectations for this cycle weirdly, I think it's just the longer this is going on the less hope I have. I was so certain that last cycle was the one, even from CD1 which was ridiculous, but I just had a feeling, which was obviously completely wrong.

I think we'll go for DTD EOD at the moment. Premom has me at 0.47 which is very low for me- I get days of high before a peak. We DTD last night, it's been a while, so the first time in this heatwave. I had to stand outside after to cool off 😂

@theblueflowers that had me chuckling! It is an effort in this heat isn't it!
@bunnykins123 fantastic news about your appointment! Don't worry until you know the results ☺️.
@Westsussex I'm sorry about your loss, normally GPS will offer what they can, but most NHSs will only offer comprehensive testing after 3 MCs. Always worth looking at Tommys as some of their NHS practices offer recurrent clinics after 2, and you can self refer if they're close to you. It explains it all on their website 😊
@MrsCristiano sorry to hear this week has been tough for you, it's surprising how our feelings catch us off guard and it can be the smallest thing.

I had a really moody day yesterday, I think it's just my anxiety and hope this cycle has been successful, analysing every feeling, I just don't know if it's too much of a BBQ cramps or something going on in there baby wise 🤣. xx

@bunnykins123 I'm so glad you got your appointment moved forward ❤️

@Pancake92 I would be lost without this group. The support is amazing and we all understand the struggle. Please rant to us anytime

@Chellooo thanks lovely 🥰 you are in another thread with me and every single person is now pregnant. It feels like a losing battle now

I'm feeling a lot better today. Thursday night's meltdown came with uncontrollable sobs to DH about the faintly positive test and a creepy delivery driver who makes me feel uncomfortable in work every day. I seem to have stopped bleeding so this is more like a normal AF for me. I too no longer believe that a positive test will lead to a baby just more heartache

@FfayeN I really hope this cycle is the one for you xx ❤️ I mean I thought I was ok but I heard a song on the radio 'iris' by the goo goo dolls on the way home from work and it broke me.

@FfayeN thank you so much that's really helpful, as I honestly have no idea how it all works at this point. I'll look into Tommy's also xxx

@MrsCristiano I know what you mean, I watched Virgin River a few weeks ago and blubbered my eyes out, sometimes we do just need a good cry.
@Westsussex you're welcome, if you have any questions just ask on here most of us will be able to offer advice from our hours on Google or prior experiences 🥰 xxx

@MrsCristiano ah it certainly feels like that at the minute doesn't it, but our time is coming! And how amazing will it be when it does!
I've just entered my 'fertile window' (lol god the things you openly discuss online eh?!) So gonna for for it this week and keep everything crossed for a little sticky! X

@Chellooo ahh good luck..❤️ I've just ordered OPKs in preparation. Gonna do them properly this month. DH is in for a treat (if I don't scare him away by then😂) I'm praying for a good egg 🙏

A nice bbq with our best friend group was a bit marred when I got a message in our NCT Whatsapp group to say that one of the mums is pregnant with her second and is due when my baby would have been born 🙁 It's just not fair.

@TheBirdintheCave oh god. Saying congratulations when you feel like dying inside. It hurts.

My DH now knows we are expecting - he loved finding the surprise test in the gin glass cupboard and said I did much better than the last few times of breaking the news to him 🤣 I told him I had known for all week and that was the best I could come up with 🤭

Unfortunately however this morning "the usual" has started so it seems, the spotting has begun. I wonder how long this one will take.I've started progesterone pessaries this morning at the first sign of spotting so we'll see how it goes. But sadly I feel a bit void of emotions and that another loss is to be expected. Time will tell.

@TheBirdintheCave sorry you're hurting, such an emotional rollercoaster this journey isn't it?

@MrsCristiano sorry you've had a rough week. 🤞 for a good sticky egg this month!

@Margo34 oh no.. Wishing you all the best and hoping this one sticks.. ❤x

@TheBirdintheCave so sorry ❤same due dates are so painful! 💐x

@Margo34 oh hun, I'm so sorry. I totally understand that after a loss, spotting seems like it's going to have a negative outcome but I've seen so many ladies on this forum spot and have gone on to have successful pregnancies. Totally agree with using progesterone to support it if that's the issue. Have you tried calling the epu to get some advice? Try not to assume your worst 💕

@TheBirdintheCave it's hard. So hard. On the one hand you're really happy for them and on the other, feeling so much pain for what should have been. I'm so sorry 💕

@MrsCristiano glad you're feeling better, this is such a crap journey. Thank god we've got each other on here!

@FfayeN how are you feeling today? Hope you're feeling a bit better today.

@theblueflowers thanks lovely! It feels like I had to fight to get it pushed forward but let's see what it brings.

@Westsussex I know this is not the best advice, but could you say you've had some early losses in there too? I had 3 early ones, I never registered with the GP with any of them and I was referred. It's taken an absolute age getting my results back (long v boring story!) but hopefully I'll find out early sept what's going on. Do you have private healthcare? I get mine through work and I've got some investigative tests planned this week which won't be done on the NHS. We are at the point where we are getting tests done and once we have the results will decide on whether to give IVF a whirl.

@bunnykins123 thanks so much, I'd actually been thinking of saying that as I was expecting they'd just keep washing their hands of me for years and even then when referred it might take an age.

I don't have any private health care unfortunately, I now work from home as self employed. We were thinking of getting private health insurance but at the moment we're having some money struggles.

I think I'll need to try and move the process on for myself through the nhs and see what happens for now. Hopefully I can get something test wise after all these years of paying my NI 😊 xxx