TTC 35+ thread 11

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread! I dunno how to tag everyone from the other thread 🤣

@notyetamumbuttrying I can definitely understand what you’re saying, the pressure is more because it feels like it SHOULD work. Yet as we know nothing is guaranteed with TTC! Really hoping for a positive outcome for you 🙏
I don’t usually test early because it’s too disappointing! Plus I get a few days of spotting before af so that’s my telltale sign.

Argh yeah that’s tough waiting too @thislittlebird. I emailed the Lister yesterday to book in my nurse appt for beginning of July. Yikes. Feel so nervous about it all.
And yes like you said, would also be losing it right now if in @notyetamumbuttrying ‘s shoes! One day we will be!!! 🤪

@Misty84 I hope we will 😩. What’s the nurse appointment for? A scan? I know you have to have lots of bloods before ivf and I’ve had none. Need to book my smear in too.

@thislittlebird slowly getting there now honey!! Haha it's tough I won't lie! 🙈
@Misty84 exactly! Everything was perfect, the embryo, my lining, the pom juice and pineapple etc so if it doesn't work what more can I do with a lower grade embryo 🤦🏾‍♀️ but I won't preempt just yet! Ah ok, so here's hoping no spotting for you then!!
Ooh July is only a few weeks away now, how exciting!

@notyetamumbuttrying 🙏 for your bfp when you test. Can only imagine this 2ww for you! It must be the slowest week everrrr! Hope it ends with a little miracle ✨

Thank you so much @Loladoodle hope all's well with you?! X

@notyetamumbuttrying all is well thank you! I’ve been on this thread from the very beginning I think! 😅 cycle 17 in progress 😬 what will be will be 🙏 af ending so heading in to the fun week at least! 😁

@Loladoodle yay for fun week! You got any investigations coming up?

OH is waiting on SA appointment coming through. I’ll get some bloods done soon also.

@Loladoodle good, don't forget the scan too! Hope all goes well 💕

@thislittlebird I think they just tell me the plan! I don’t know really haha. When I told Parikh at the initial consultation that I wanted to have ivf in Aug, she told me to book an appointment with the nurse at end of June.

@notyetamumbuttrying thank you 😊

Hey 👋🏻 can I join please? 13 DPO here & AF was due today, no sign of it yet. I would just like to mention that I'm new to all of this tracking & TTC as we've only been trying properly 1 month. I was on the pill for years & didn't have regular periods with that so I'm still in the getting to know my body phase I guess ... but what I do know is that I have always got some form of cramping a couple of days before AF arrived & I haven't had any of those symptoms this month yet 🤞Im using the glow app to track periods, ovulation & DTD. Since I've come off my pill my periods have arrived exactly every 24 days on the dot. I've only been tracking for 3 months so I'm not sure I've gathered enough data yet to be feeling hopeful.
Have any of You found that it's common for length of cycle days to fluctuate monthly?

Sending lots of hope & baby dust to all 💓

P.s 1st time TTC & age 41.

Fair enough @Misty84! Let me know how that goes, I’m interested in all the process too. We can’t have another appointment until we’ve got the next results and I’m so tired of waiting now, just want to get on with ivf so we can cross any unexpected hurdles sooner rather than later. I know they’re not going to be good (his, I mean).

Welcome! @pinkypink24

Can’t really help on the cycles thing, mine have definitely been different while ttc, for whatever reason 🤷‍♀️

I need advice/input. @notyetamumbuttrying might be able to advise on timings of ivf in this scenario, how long it takes, how many appointments.

So my husband does a job that there won’t be many of where he’s from (Cornwall) unlike in London where we are now. We want to move there in time but decided the time wasn’t right because IVF. If we had a kid or I was pregnant we’d go.

He’s just got a new job with better hours and starts in July. Then I see one today when I browse jobs online right where we want to move to and now I don’t know what to do. Should he apply and if he gets it live with his parents for a while? How would that even work with ivf? The man is only needed for one appointment, right? So if we sold the house it could take six months of me being in London alone, which would mean very few opportunities to ttc but we aren’t conceiving naturally anyway as it is. Also the property market down there is nutty right now. It’s not the end of the world being alone here but potentially lonely going through ivf and not seeing him (or anyone right now) very often.

If anyone wants to help me organise my thoughts it would be much appreciated.

@thislittlebird
I haven't done IVF yet but did a lot of research to prep myself for it . Technically what you said may work but :

Are you good with injecting yourself ?
IVF is an emotional journey and it's awfully lonely to be doing it mostly living alone - I know I will need mental support going through it.

You may want to consider being in London during the Ivf period (2 weeks) and have him take time off to accompany you

@AnxiousWannabe you raise a good point. I’m very much not comfortable injecting myself and had planned for him to do it. That’s not to say I can’t do it, I’m just a massive wuss. I’m trying to work out how we could make it work. I could stay with him too, not that I want to leave the house empty but I’m working from home a lot and mostly don’t need to go in.

I’m not sure he’d be able to take the time off in a new job, especially when we might need multiple rounds with his dodgy swimmers. I don’t know how often you get monitored or whatever either.

I’m so very frustrated by the timing of this job and having seen it.

@thislittlebird I’d be inclined to think short term pain for long term gain… if ivf worked for you and him moving alone short term would massively benefit you long term… personally I’d take the hit short term. But people are very different..: I’m a very independent person and feel I could probably be ok doing that. You have to know you would cope ok with it all as you don’t want to put any extra pressure on yourself that you may not be able to manage whilst undergoing an already stressful process during ivf.

Hi @pinkypink24! We have a good record of people saying hi and getting a BFP so fingers crossed for you! I’m 42 and ttc 1. There’s also another thread for the over 40 TTCers that I find v useful too for the particular challenges for us mega-geriatrics! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4257912-trying-to-conceive-over-40?msgid=108088992

I have been tracking for about 12 years (not on pill) and have an overall range of about 3-5 days cycle length fluctuation. Xx

@thislittlebird I agree with @Loladoodle, if you could bear ivf mainly alone. Frankly, given the hormones, space might be quite nice…!

My DH and I have two homes 150 miles apart. When I’m on a contract we live in town every other week and when he has his kids he is in the “country home” and I go down at weekends. It’s not ideal, but it’s definitely okay. :-)

@Loladoodle I think I agree with you tbh and I like that way of putting it. I’m fine on my own, even if I will miss him being around for a few months. I’m just concerned about the ivf process and then my work and how him being there and me potentially getting pregnant would play into that. Not sure.

I feel like it’s too good an opportunity to not apply. It’s the job he does and it’s decent pay, London wages, and good salaries aren’t easy to come by round there.

The ivf really is the main concern. I wouldn’t be worried if not for that.I don’t know enough about the stages of it in great detail, the time off he’d need at short notice (+ travel time), which injections (I know some people have to have them in a muscle in the bum) I’d need and if I could do them myself. I don’t really have much of a support network beyond him. I have friends, but not lots I could ask to help me. One of my sisters might help but she’s got lots of kids and I’d feel bad asking.

@Geriatric1234 good point on the hormones lol. I don’t want to be apart because I really don’t have many people to depend upon (partly my own fault for being such an introvert) but I know he’s not that far really and I’m fine alone when he’s not here and the years before we moved in. It’s purely the ivf logistics 🤨

@thislittlebird sorry for the late response, that's a really tough proposal you have there! I don't think I can help with what to do for the best but I can give you my timelines on ivf. If you do long protocol it'll take about 6 weeks in total.
2 weeks down regging
Scan 1
10-14 days stimming (I did 13 days)
Scans 2 and 3 in the last week of stimming
Appointment for EC given on last scan.
EC a few days later-Dh needed at EC
ET 5 days later or could be 3 depending on how the embryos are developing.
Calls during this time but no appointments
Progesterone pessaries start after EC and continue through tww.
Then about 12 days later you can test.
Viability scan if successful at 7-8 weeks
Hope that helps with timelines!
Oh and I injected myself, let Dh have a go but I preferred doing it myself x

@Henslovetoscratch I've seen a couple of people get their bfp the month they had their vaccine! Im cd34 and my body is on its 4th ovulation attempt! I'm hoping it'll actually work this time though as I've had two days of peak opk this time!

Hi @pinkypink24 oh yes cycle days definitely vary for most people even by a couple of days, are you using opk? I wouldn't rely on the app to reliably predict your ovulation date as they're just based on the average person! Do my my cycles range 21-33 days in general with a few long cycles in there too 57,66 days this will be another one as I'm cd34 and possibly just ovulating!

@thislittlebird does he work all week? When my oh was with his ex at one point they moved down to Cornwall but he was still working in London, he would stay in London for the week then travel back to Cornwall on a Friday evening and leave Sunday evening to go back to London, could he do that but the other way around? Even if it was every other weekend and you travel down there on the opposite one it would work, i think it's worth a go and you'll work out the ivf/injections when it comes to it.

@Marvellouslymadmum oh wow that's interesting about the vaccine! Great news that you have had two consecutive days of potential ovulation activity hoping the egg is on its way now!!! 🤞Best of luck x