TTC 35+ thread 11

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread! I dunno how to tag everyone from the other thread 🤣

Sorry I've not posted any words of wisdom or comfort here for a while. Been reading all the posts and sending hugs to anyone going through a shitty time

Following my HyCoSy last week which showed my right tube is blocked, my AMH results have come back as low and the clinic is recommending we proceed with IVF as soon as possible. I'm just in shock right now as it's been so much bad news in such a short space of time and feeling terrified at prospect of ivf.

I wish it could just be easy for all of us

@KatRee I'm sorry to hear this but Ivf really isn't that scary once you start. I started last month and I'm days away from seeing if it worked or not. You should have a look at the infertility boards when you're ready as there's loads of info and tips on there. I'm happy to help where I can too 😘

@notyetamumbuttrying Thanks so much for replying. It feels like it's happened really fast and the sense of urgency is freaking me out too. I'm thinking of you and crossing everything that you get your BPF in a few days. I can't imagine the anticipation you must be feeling at this point.
I will definitely check out the infertility threads once it's sunk in a little more for me
Xx

@KatRee What is your amh level? So sorry, I found out mine was very low back in March and was left reeling. It’s very hard news to take so I’m thinking of you. And if you’re anything like me you’ll start researching it to death! But it’s not game over for us. Focus on egg quality! 🌸

@Misty84 Thank you lovely. My AMH came back as 11.5, which I don't think is in the very low range, but think the concern is my ovarian reserve could be dropping very quickly, so my chances will be better going for ivf now, rather than waiting around for a good egg to pop out of my unblocked ovary, which might never happen. How are you doing? Xx

@KatRee thank you 🙏🏾
That level isn't that low really but can understand the extra concern given the blocked tube. Needing ivf does take a while to sink in so do give yourself the time to get used to it ♥️

@Marvellouslymadmum
I've been there! Body trying and trying to ovulate.
What worked for me was to relax - didn't happen naturally though. I was so stressed and didn't sleep well - then I was so exhausted that I simply couldn't continue worrying and slept through the day. The next day ? My bbt rose.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is...if u are stressed in any way like me - probably try to breathe and sleep.

@KatRee it’s a shock but I think it was in line with what your AFC was if I remember right? Which makes some sense.

Don’t feel rushed into ivf. It’s a lot to get your head round. I’m super keen to do it now after all this messing around but it’s hard to process and come to terms with. You’re armed with more info now which is a positive.

@notyetamumbuttrying I’d be short protocol so I assume the first two weeks aren’t needed for me. Probably starts at the 10-14 days of stimming. Was it only injections in the belly fat area like I’ve read about? I’ve got an info pack here, should read it.

@Marvellouslymadmum he does shifts, four on/off. That could work ok with commuting a bit. Hardest part would be timing when he’s needed for ivf I guess. I would need to be in London for the scans and other invasive stuff.

@thislittlebird sounds about right then! Yeah just in your belly. You pinch the area and in you go!

Thank you @thislittlebird
My AFC last week was average on the right ovary, but low on the left. I was really clueless about how this would all relate to AMH, but apparently they do match up and suggest that possibly the reserve on the left is lower than on the right - I was hoping left ovary was just having a lazy month!
My OH has just left this morning to go abroad for a month, so have to take a break from regular ttc anyway
I hope you're doing ok and getting some clarity on your dilemma re Cornwall. Xx

@KatRee the bonus is those eggs are accessible with ivf but not through natural conception so you have a good number there with that option. Weirdly my AMH does not align with AFC (AMH is higher) which makes me worry that there’s more lurking in there they can’t see.

I’m confused by my dilemma really, he may not even get the job of course (not much time to get an application in either). Don’t feel ready to move but I’m not sure I ever will because I’m from London, and I’m also incredibly risk averse. I like everything to be just right before I make decisions and that’s kinda how I’ve ended up this late to ttc. I was studying pre-2018 for a few years and didn’t want to ttc when working and doing a degree. Then I didn’t want to ttc before my probation was passed/full mat leave had kicked in. Sigh. I’m not good at impromptu decisions or changes. Probably worrying over nothing and nothing will come of it lol.

I had an ivf pack in the post today from the Lister. Lots to read and complete.

@notyetamumbuttrying I fear it because I’m not great at medical stuff and I’m squeamish. Does it hurt?

Ah @KatRee that amh is really not too bad, I think you will be ok and IVF could be a very good option for you!! I know it’s scary and takes time to process and adjust to the idea. The things we go through hey?! It’s insane! Wish it was easier for all of us 😔

@thislittlebird good you've got your pack now, get to reading! 👍🏾
It stings a bit when it goes in but then it's over and done with in about 30 seconds. You do get used to it. Promise 🤞🏾

@thislittlebird Hmm I’ve not received an IVF pack! 🧐
Also squeamish especially when it comes to needles!!! Will be on a short protocol too x

@Misty84 hmmmm 🧐🧐🧐 have they sent you anything by email instead of post? Very curious. I’ve got a lot of docs here (see pic).

Also got my antibiotics prescription for my hycosy (including a suppository I’d rather not need ) came in the post today too. Need to get that sorted.

@notyetamumbuttrying I’m such a huge wuss, need to stop worrying so much.

@thislittlebird I think I'm a bit like you with big decisions. Risk diverse and also I get very attached to my current circumstances, even when I know I've outgrown them. So it usually takes me years between deciding I want to do something and actually doing it. Moving is a big thing, it's natural to need time to fully consider, especially with everything else going on for you at the same time. I expect there will be other opportunities in future if you decide now is not the right time

@Misty84 I know, I really wish this didn't have to be so difficult for some of us. Grateful to have you ladies who understand here to listen and support. Thank you 🙏

@KatRee @Misty84 I get upset when I think about how hard it is for some of us and how much cost is involved because we got unlucky. Frustrating.

@katree that’s like me. I’ll stay in jobs even when I should have left a couple of years ago and so on. Another issue I have is weird guilt about my mum. She didn’t bring me up but I feel bad leaving her in her old age, I won’t see much of her again probably. She won’t travel to me, and my sister will accuse me of not caring at some point in the future. It’s hard, I wish it wasn’t a factor and we had a normal relationship.

@thislittlebird Yes, definitely feel the frustration. Don’t even know where to start with it. So unequal.

Hmm I’m wondering if they emailed that pack to me, I can’t remember, probably got overwhelmed at the size of it! Is it useful?

@Misty84 yeah very, it's all our consent forms, lists of medication and what they do, HFEA info, guide to IVF and so on. Plus a pink sheet that's like a checklist of things you have to do before you can begin. I'll sit down and read it tomorrow, they emailed me the HyCoSy pack because it's coming up soon, and also posted me prescriptions for antibiotics.

@KatRee I didn’t know you were in London! I was just being nosey on the infertility sub, saw you’re SW, I’m SE.

@thislittlebird - yes, I am! Not originally, been here about 6 years. We are also thinking of moving, but not sure where and with my record it probably won't happen for at least another 3 years! Feeling very fortunate to be here now we are dealing with this fertility fuckery though as we are walking distance from a clinic. I know some people have to travel hundreds of miles for treatment

I get the guilt about your mum- I was absolutely ripped to shreds with it when I left my hometown and moved abroad at 25, but we've both got used to it eventually I am going to try are see her more often, especially now she older. I had a complicated relationship with her too and definitely needed space and time apart to be able to live my own life and be myself

@KatRee I lived in Wimbledon for 8 years which I LOVED- couldn’t afford to buy there though! Still work around Putney and Fulham. I love SW.
Bought a flat in Sutton but when we buy a house (IVF dependent, no idea how much money we’ll have left!!) we want to move elsewhere but not sure where!! The only thing I can’t stand about London is the traffic!!

Girls…it’s my birthday today. 37. I’m in the tww but really want to be able to enjoy myself and have a few G&Ts tonight with my friends. Not enough to get drunk but enough to actually have fun again. Bad idea? 😕 I hate TTC! 🤦‍♀️

@Misty84 Happy Birthday 🥳 🎂 🥂
I think you can definitely allow yourself a drink or two- I'm sure most of the BPFs on here have said they didn't stop drinking when ttc.

We are in a rented 1 bed in Putney. LOVE the area but can't really afford anything bigger here and definitely need more space, whether or not we get our little one. We do want to buy, but yeah, big chunk of savings now going on IVF 😩