Pregnancy after MMC

[Bells993]

Hi Everyone,
Unfortunately I had a MMC on our second pregnancy last month. (I have a 1 year old)
I should of been 9 weeks at my Scan but baby was only 8 weeks 4 so it had just happened. 3 days later I had a private D&C as I didn’t want to risk the hospital/ the trauma of dealing with it at home with my little boy.
I had bleeding on and off for 2 weeks after (6th of April was the D&C) I had regular bloody tests, my last one my HCG had come down to 70 so 3 days later I got my first negative test.
I had an internal to confirm no retained pregnancy and was given the all clear to try again straight away. I’ve had cystitis this weekend to add to my problems and now I’m getting this on my tests. Had anyone experienced anything similar, what are your thoughts? Feel like my body’s just giving up on me haha! I’d love to be pregnant again but I’d just be surprised if it could all happen within such a small time scale
Thanks everyone

@Frankincense88 - i get that. It is definitely harder when it is your first pregnancy.
In regards to trisomies - they can do a blood test for that - SAFE test. It is the equivalent of the NIPT tests offered privately. If the cost for this is too high (the NHS should pay for it), then they can perform a CVS on you as you are past 13 weeks. Although this is an invasive procedure, if your consultant is experienced in it - then the risk really is minimized. This is the most certain way to rule out the trisomies.

Also, if this pregnancy doesn't work out - you should automatically be put on high risk for your next pregnancy - this means you should get the SAFE test at 10 weeks and earlier scans if required. I went to he EPU from 7 weeks for this pregnancy and they have seen me every time because of my history. It is still a nerve-wracking time, but you should get the extra reassurance you need from your local Trust...you just may have to push for it.

I can also tell you, that every pregnancy and birth is so different. You cannot let this pregnancy define your idea of what could be. Remember, what will be, will be. The only thing that is in your control is the way you handle it - so choose to handle it to get yourself through it. You must allow yourself to grieve, but you must also let yourself heal. This is not your fault and is out of your control.
Try to take some time for yourself hun over the next two weeks - lockdown doesn't make it easy, but technology is amazing these days and sleep is our best friend :)
Talk to your Trust and see if there is any other reassurance/tests that they can give you so that you can make an informed decision.
xoxo

@msanne they said that they could do a test at 16 weeks but it'd only test for downs not Edward's or Patau's. I think if this one goes pear shaped we'll stop actively trying for a little while and just focus on getting our house finished and get a dog. I don't think I can take any more disappointment this year. Hopefully next appointment will give us some more answers 🤞🏼 will keep you all posted Xxx

@Frankincense88 - ok hun. Sounds like you've got a plan and it will work for you.

Here if you need us xoxo

@msanne thank you 🤞🏼💕 consultant appointment on the 27th so will keep you posted in the meantime. Thank you for all of your kindness xxxx

@Frankincense88 = good luck for today hun - thinking of you xoxo

@msanne @MrsTtobe @Bells993 @Leaf87

Hi ladies hope you're all well. 💕 Had my scan and consultant appointment today. Basically we still don't really know wtf is going on. So - positives: baby has grown in line with where it should be (16 weeks in Friday) and bladder now appearing on ultrasound. Small amount of liquid in kidneys and bladder which show its ingesting what tiny bit of fluid there is.

Negatives - still barely any fluid. Still can't really take decent measurements or get any clear pics of baby. Consultant said atm there's no way of knowing what's causing it (whether it's linked to a condition / abnormality or just bad luck) so been booked in for my anomaly scan on the 11th where I'll be 18 weeks. They said biggest concern atm is baby's lung development as if baby keeps growing but lungs don't develop it's unlikely baby will be able to survive anyway. If I make it as far as 24 weeks they may deliver early in Birmingham (our biggest nearby hospital) and time will tell. They can't say for certain how developed lung tissue is until baby is born and actually tries using them. I also can't have my screenings done as it's too late - had bloods done for Down's today but they said they will have to wait until next scan to look for other things. If I come back as high risk we'll have to pay privately for NIPT testing.

So essentially we're still in shitty limbo with no real answers.

I hope you're all doing well and enjoying entering your (3rd?!) trimesters. Keep sending positive vibes my way. I've got a midwife appt Monday so will be telling her how hopeless and useless I feel 😔 xxx

Hey @Frankincense88 - ok that is frustrating but hopefully gives a little light at the end of the tunnel. Keep doing what you are doing and hopefully baby can catch up...i've got everything crossed for you.

As regards to NIPT - your Trust should be able to do this for you for free....it is a blood test that checks the fetal dna and you shouldn't be too far gone to do this (just later than usual). I don't think it is fair if they're letting you pay privately for this in an already uncertain time? Have you asked them?

A 24 week delivery is scary but is doable - it'll be bloody hard but at least you will all be in the best place to have the best chance.

Keep at it with your midwife - I have and am now considering a home birth with all this Covid malarky. I've got my first visit on the 12th November when I will be 26 weeks. So far, I'm feeling ok, starting to feel him sloshing around inside but movements are still a bit muted due to my placenta. Counting down the days to my maternity leave at the moment as work is stressing me out a bit too much.

Sending you lots of love and hugs.

xoxo

Hi ladies,

Been seen by the fetal medicine team today in Worcester and we've been told that sadly there is no way this baby will live. I will have to be induced and give birth as they've said surgery is no longer an option and is too risky.

Still processing everything on the drive home with DH but I feel grateful we've finally been given a straight answer rather than the constant confusion we've had so far.

Sending you all love and positivity for you and your babies xxxxxx

@Frankincense88 I am so sorry to read this, you really have been dealt a poor hand. I hope now you have a definitive answer you can grieve and find some comfort in knowing that there is nothing you could have done differently. Take some time to process you are strong and will get through this.
I am thinking of you and your husband look after each other 💛💛💛

@Leaf87 Thank you my lovely. In all honesty we have been expecting this for 2 months so have had time to prepare mentally. I still have no idea what I'll be like when it comes to it but we're doing ok considering. So grateful we made the decision to look into getting a dog as that's pretty much all that's been keeping me going atm. He should hopefully be coming to us at the beginning of Dec which will make our home and hearts a little less sad and empty. Xxx

@Frankincense88 I am glad you are getting a puppy!! I can not tell you what a difference having ours has made!! Get ready for some disturbed sleep!! I was up a 12, 2 and 5 last night but he is a great distraction and makes me smile! What breed have you gone for

@Leaf87 we're going to have a Bedlington x Whippet. They're only 3 weeks old atm so will hopefully do a visit in a couple of weeks then ready to come home in Dec all being well. Anything is a welcome distraction atm - even disturbed sleep! Xxx

@Frankincense88 I'm so so sorry to be reading your news. I was praying everything would work out ok. I think you've been treated so badly and messed about beyond belief. It shouldn't have taken this long surely for them to find out what was going on. It's heartbreaking.
Im glad you are being strong and focusing on your little puppy.❤

I think all of us in this little group have really had the shittest of years! We really have been through the mill and im exhausted from the ups and downs. Ive gone from finding out we're pregnant in Feb to total lockdown and losing people I know to this horrible covid that's taken over our lives. Then in April going through the heartbreak of losing a child. Being rushed to a&e on my own and literally thinking im going to die. To not being able to see my loved ones for 3 months when I needed them most. Then came the joy in June of finding out we're expecting again, followed by bleeding a few weeks later. To live in fear every single time I go to the toilet, even now at almost 26 weeks.
The anxiety before every scan. The feeling that doesn't go away that something is going to go wrong.
It's just never ending. Im supposed to be getting married on Sat 7th Nov at Gretna Green. It's not looking likely now either.
Ladies I sure will not be glad to see the back of 2020! We really have been through it.

Sending love and best wishes to you all.
@Leaf87 @msanne @Bells993 xxx

@MrsTtobe that is such shit news about your wedding, I'm so sorry 😔 I agree I have 100% had enough of this year and may even push the boat out and stay up until midnight on NYE this year just to make sure it really had buggered off! I'm usually asleep by 9 but might have to make an exception this year.

Got a meeting at 12 today with the consultant and midwife to talk through everything - not quite sure what to expect but I've got lots of questions which will hopefully be answered. I'm going to ask for an extended sick note as well as my GP only signed me off until next week after asking if I felt like going to work this week (!!!) Not really, I am barely functioning I don't think I'm quite up to teaching 21 lessons a week and being in contact with 750 teenagers who will be constantly asking 'where have you been' just yet! Idiot.

@Leaf87 @msanne @Bells993

Sending you all love and light - I will still be checking this thread so please do keep posting with your lovely news and updates 💕 going through something like this is so isolating and I really have learnt over the last few months who my friends are xxx

@MrsTtobe - that is shite about your wedding. Will you have to reschedule again? Or will you just do a more intimate ceremony? I have really given up planning this year - the more I plan the less it goes to plan! I really hope it doesn't get you down. Big hug!

@Frankincense88 - good luck with the consultant appointment today. Totally get another sick note- I think I told you I took 1.5 months off after mine. I will be thinking of you xoxo

@Leaf87 @Bells993 - sending you lots of light and love.

Come the 31st December I will be having a party at home just to see this bloody year off! I've had enough of it!

xoxo

Hey ladies, I'm married!! Can't believe we pulled it off in the end. 🤣 It was a close call!
How are you all? @Bells993 @Leaf87

@Frankincense88 how are you? How did your meeting with the consultant go? Hope you got some answers to your questions and some clarity. I hope your oh taking good care of you and you're resting. Sending you lots of love.❤

@msanne how are you? Baby moving lots? This one never stops. Got to have a growth scan at 28 weeks as my daughter was small apparently.

Getting ready for Christmas here. Nothing else to do with lockdown number 2 😭 Lots of online shopping and list making.

Thinking of you all xx

@MrsTtobe congratulations! That is such fab news, so pleased for you! You'll have to drop the 'to be' from your username now!!

I'm ok, met with consultant and midwife yesterday and had the tablet which stops production of progesterone. Being called in to deliver tomorrow so no doubt it'll be a horrible 24 hours. Been signed off for a month which means just going in for the last week of term which is basically watching films and colouring in (even my Y11s love a Christmas quiz) but if I don't feel up to it I can just go in and get ready for jan / stay home. They've been brilliant, I honestly cannot fault them. Being looked after but also just wanting this nightmare to end and begin to heal. 💕

I've been getting ready for Christmas too - got lots of lovely snacks & drinks in but I'm slowly making my way through it - there won't be any left for Christmas at this rate! Got a Sainsbury's slot for next week to top up though.

Sending you all lots of love and I hope you're all doing well ❤️

@MrsTtobe - Congratulations!!! how exciting!! Big news and most importantly GOOD news for this year! Very happy for you and well done for pulling it off...if you have a will there is always a way :)

@Frankincense88 - thinking of you today....glad you've got your sick leave sorted and the pantry topped up...Very important :) Sending you the biggest love and the strength to get through today - which you will....cos you can do it!

I'm doing ok - been having some pretty painful cramps in my lower abdominal but my hospital can't figure out what's wrong so i'm just leaving it be for now. Other than that I can feel him kick now and stretch an awful lot too....gives me some reassurance that I can feel the baby as there isn't much the Dr's can tell me at the moment.

I'm still spring cleaning the house (in autumn)! getting new wardrobes this week to sort out my mountain of clothes...we for some reason never got round to building in wardrobes when we moved in 6 years ago!!

Sending you all lots of love xoxox

@msanne thank you 😘 am here now as things started on their own at 3am and I've had no bloody sleep. Came in about half hour ago as I couldn't wait for them to call me. Fingers crossed I'll be home soon and it isn't any more dragged out than necessary. 😩 xxx

@Frankincense88 - it is good things started on their own. Hopefully, that is a sign that things will pass quickly. Stay focused, stay strong. It's all nearly over and you can have a fresh, new start :) biggest hugs xoxo

@Frankincense88 you are doing amazing as @msanne said stay positive stay strong its almost done and you can look forward to Christmas and the new puppy!!!! I have become addicted to YouTube dog trainers three in particular are very good. If you want I will send you the details!

@MrsTtobe congratulations on the marriage amazing! It was our first wedding anniversary Monday nice to be in the new house with the new dog hopefully a new start.

Hope your all having a good week!

@msanne @MrsTtobe @Bells993 @Frankincense88

Any updates? Do we have any babies yet???

I am ok, we managed too move house puppy is all most 7 months old and I am 14 weeks pregnant! Not the straight forward journey I hoped for but so far so good! Hospital have been great and have taken great care of me.
I hope your all doing well and life is positive ❤❤

@Leaf87 congratulations!! That is such fab news. I'm so pleased 💜 I was only thinking about you all today and wondering if any babies had arrived yet.

We haven't thought about trying again yet as I have been diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety since my TFMR and we're still no closer to any answers from the hospital as to why our baby girl didn't make it. I'll be starting CBT therapy in a couple of months so hopefully that will give me some coping mechanisms when we start trying again.

Sending you all lots of love and peaceful, straightforward births! Keep us updated xxx

@Leaf87 we've got our pup though and he has brought us so much joy! He's a big fatty now but here he is when he was teeny 💙

@Frankincense88 he is absolutely lovely!! They grow so quick ours is 30kg so big boy mostly well behaved but hit the six month if something is more interesting I am not coming back!! I am happy to hear that he is helping you heal and your getting some help as well. Let's hope 2021 is better year for us ❤