Pregnancy after MMC

[Bells993]

Hi Everyone,
Unfortunately I had a MMC on our second pregnancy last month. (I have a 1 year old)
I should of been 9 weeks at my Scan but baby was only 8 weeks 4 so it had just happened. 3 days later I had a private D&C as I didn’t want to risk the hospital/ the trauma of dealing with it at home with my little boy.
I had bleeding on and off for 2 weeks after (6th of April was the D&C) I had regular bloody tests, my last one my HCG had come down to 70 so 3 days later I got my first negative test.
I had an internal to confirm no retained pregnancy and was given the all clear to try again straight away. I’ve had cystitis this weekend to add to my problems and now I’m getting this on my tests. Had anyone experienced anything similar, what are your thoughts? Feel like my body’s just giving up on me haha! I’d love to be pregnant again but I’d just be surprised if it could all happen within such a small time scale
Thanks everyone

@msanne hi lovely, yes bleeding stopped last Thursday and no signs of anything since (fingers crossed!) very up and down emotionally though, one minute I'm feeling hopeful and the next I'm full of anxiety because I haven't got any symptoms so convinced it'll be another MMC. It's so horrid I really just want to get to the second trimester so I've got a bit of breathing room. Got to wait another 8 days for my next scan as well (which I know is nothing) but the thought of having to attend on my own and then getting bad news is just making me feel awful! Booking appt is Monday so I'll definitely mention how I'm feeling to the midwife.

Sorry for the word vomit I don't have anyone I can talk to about it because DH is so positive and is trying to reassure me so not prepared to listen to 'what ifs' but it's not helping 😬

How's everything your end? Xxx

@Frankincense88 - you can word vomit anytime hun! It is so important to get these feelings off your chest; i know as women, we are so empathetic towards other peoples feelings (which is a great thing and important) but it is equally important to take care of your feelings and fears.

I totally get your anxiety - that is normal and expected after all of the drama you have had. The only thing that is going to get you through this next 8 day wait will be positive thinking though. Whilst I understand that you mustn't get yourself too excited, I think you should reassure yourself of the better news, like, the lack of bleeding. The lack of symptoms could be just typical to your pregnancy - some women don't get it at all - so please don't let that worry you.
I think it is right that you tell the midwife at the booking appointment; you could also call your EPU and say you are having cramping and given your previous history - they may give you another scan then? I went initially to my EPU from 6 or 7 weeks onwards due to cramping and they saw me straight away. I ended up having 3 hospital scans before my 12-week scan which was reassuring as we were waiting for the NIPT results. I've found in these scenarios, it pays to be persistent. I may have a reputation within my local Trust, but if it means I get my reassurance, then it is worth it!

I'm feeling and looking like a whale; however, overall I feel much better now and usually any nausea subsides if I eat something. I have had splitting headaches, but paracetamol seems to fix that, so am happily self-medicating :P

I still haven't had my 20-week scan appointment which is only 4 weeks away (time is flying) but my hospital insists that I will get an appointment in time - I'm just feeling a little impatient to have to wait 4 weeks to see bubs again! I might have to do another private scan in 2 weeks time or so....but trying to just chill out and enjoy the pregnancy now.

I am wishing you a speedy entry into your second trimester - I'm rooting for you to get there so that you can enjoy this little miracle inside of you.

Sending you lots of love hun xoxo

@msanne @Frankincense88 sorry been taking some down time to lick my wounds. HCG was coming down on Sunday so hoping i settle back into a normal cycle soon. Decided to take a little break from trying.... we are due to move house october hopefully 🙏 (please keep your dingers crosses i can not take any more disappointment) and I think we might get a puppy. I need some normality and joy back. 2020 has beeb supper tough going to draw a line and start again 2021.

@Frankincense88 you have every right to feel anxiety but please try and relax a touch you have come this far and have no reason to believe you won't get your rainbow baby.

I will still follow you all and will be here to support you all as you move closer to meeting you rainbow babies 💛💛

@Leaf87 - totally understand hun. You've been incredibly strong and i'm so pleased that you are focusing on yourself and doing the right thing. Moving house is exciting but also one of the most stressful things in life - wishing you the best of luck with it! I think it will do well for you to focus on yourself for a few months and kick off again the new year - and I can't wait to hear the good news then!
Sending you the biggest hugs and love xoxo

@Leaf87 that sounds like a really good idea. Take some time to recharge and regroup and just enjoy the next few months without the stress of tracking ovulation etc. I agree moving house is stressful but it'll be something to keep you really busy and a project to work on (we're 2 years in and still renovating one room at a time!) getting a dog is also a great idea - that was our plan b as well. A positive source of energy for you to look after and get enjoyment from. 💕

Hope you ladies are doing ok too @msanne @MrsTtobe @Bells993 I'm slightly worried about the quantity of lemon san pellegrino I'm smashing through 😬 I'm drinking a can a day in the evenings to stop me feeling rough but I'm not a fizzy drink person usually so worrying it's doing me more harm than good! I've got lemon squash for the day but it just doesn't cut it in the evenings 😂 xxx

@Bells993 @MrsTtobe @msanne @Leaf87

Hi ladies, hope you're all doing ok. Just waiting in the EPU. Been scanned (only 2.5 weeks after being admitted to a&e!) Little bean is hanging on in there and measuring 10 weeks. Bittersweet because they think the reason for my bleeds (and stuff that's still in there) is because I lost a twin early on. So feeling glad that this one is clinging on but still sad for the other one. I hope you're all doing okay and you're enjoying this September morning 💕

@Frankincense88 - hey hun. I'm glad you are measuring to date. Your little bean is a fighter! it is so sad about the other little one, but if it needs to happen, it is better it happens sooner as it puts less stress on the remaining twin. How are you feeling overall? 2 more weeks until the first milestone - hoping it comes round soon!

I had my 18-week appointment with the midwife yesterday - baby seems fine so far. Hoping this doesn't change....but am still waiting for my 20-week scan appointment which I should have in 2 weeks but haven't heard didly squat about so far!

I am enjoying the weather though - getting my kids to wear the last of their summer clothes before they don't fit them next year. I had the bittersweet task of going through all of my daughters baby clothes and giving them away last weekend too. I just can't hold onto them and get very sad thinking about the baby girl we lost earlier this year. (she should've been coming home this weekend) It's done now though and I have all the little baby boys clothes ready to go in the wardrobe - only 5 months early hahaha!

Sending you all lots of love xoxo

@msanne crikey! Our hospital said they're literally inundated with pregnant women atm and it's really hard to get appointments, maybe it's the same with yours? Doesn't make it any less stressful for us though!

I'm feeling ok - talked to the nurse after who went through my report and it says that baby is quite curled up with slightly reduced fluid than expected at this stage. They said it could be down to the twin that was there or could be something else but we won't know for sure until my dating scan in 2 weeks so that's the next hurdle to get over. I'm really hoping once I hit 12 weeks there aren't any further complications because it's been such a rough ride so far and my anxiety is still through the roof. I'm constantly bloody worrying about something.

I totally sympathise about the girls' clothes but it's good you're focusing on the positives and getting organised for baby boy. My original due date is coming up in Oct, luckily it's a weekend so don't have to be at work whilst thinking about it. Not sure how I'll feel on the day though xxx

Hey Ladies,

@Frankincense88 - have you had your 12-week scan yet - hope everything looked ok?

@Leaf87 - how are you doing hun? It's nearly house move time for you isn't it?

@Bells993 and @MrsTtobe - how are you ladies dealing?

I'm overall ok. Had some bloods done yesterday and I need to take some serious iron supplements. Working is getting harder by the day and it's really taking up a lot of energy to motivate myself not to call in sick (I've managed so far). It's my son's 6th Birthday next week so I've been in full "lockdown birthday" prep mode - I've got lots of baking to do!

Sending you all lots of love
xoxo

@msanne Hey! 12 week scan is tomorrow morning. Bricking it. I'm still so anxious that I'm going to get there and something will be wrong. Keep everything crossed for me!

I've been signed off for the last two weeks because some selfish parent (who is also a member of staff who should know better) sent their Y11 child to school with 2/3 covid symptoms and they essentially sat front row and coughed all through my lesson so I had an awful cold (covid test negative) but due to not being able to take flu meds it turned into a chest infection and it was so bad I could hardly breathe. I slept upright on the sofa for a week. Been on antibiotics but finished them yesterday. So bloody cross!! I'm back tomorrow after my scan though and we've got a WFH INSET on Friday so no 'proper' teaching until Monday.

It was my birthday yesterday and we essentially had a lockdown birthday with take out and cake at home!

Have you been given a prescription for iron tablets? I'm supposed to start taking my 150mg aspirin today as I'm 12 weeks but going to start once I've got clarity after my scan tomorrow!

@MrsTtobe @Bells993 @Leaf87 hope you ladies are all okay too! Xxxx

Hey, lovely to hear from you. Ive just been so so busy since going back to work. It's chaos! My daughter really not settling with the child minder either. 😭
I had my 20 week scan yesterday. Horrible experience! Firstly they've worried me sick as ive had to be booked in for a re scan in 2 weeks as the baby was apparently in an awkward position and they couldn't do measurements/ checks properly! 😔 Then while I was sitting outside the room waiting to be called for my obs I could hear a lady clearly heartbroken sobbing coming from the scan room next to me. She was then ushered out and into the counselling room behind where I was sitting. I just wanted to hug her. Brought it all back. 😢

@msanne I know what you mean. Im struggling! I'm so big this time and keep getting really breathless. 😔 I'm struggling to pick my 2yo up.
Have you actually saw a midwife yet? My first one is at 24 weeks.

@Frankincense88 honestly you will be fine. You've had lots of scans and previous checks so try (hard I know) to enjoy it. ❤

@Bells993 @Leaf87 how are you both? X

Hi all,
Glad to hear everyone is OK, @Frankincense88 please let us know how you get on today 12 weeks wow such a miles stone. I understand the nerves but you will be fine.

@MrsTtobe 20 weeks! That has gone quick again i am sure its nothing to worry about try to relax tqo weeks will fly by!
So glad to hear everyone is ok! Our buyer pulled out Friday (on exchange day 😡) so move delayed somewhat.... we did have a new offer yesterday so will hopefully get things back on track ASAP....like I keep saying 2020 just not my year. Puppy arrives in two weeks so that will nice.
Have a lovely Thursday ladies. 💛

Hey @Frankincense88 - good luck today - let us know how you get on!

@MrsTtobe - it will be ok. Babies scrunch themselves up all the time - think of it as another opportunity to see your bubba for free! The 20 weeks is nerve-wracking and of course, sometimes bad news happens - but stay positive....please. If you are really nervous about waiting for another 2 weeks phone your local MAU (for 20 weeks plus) and tell them you're feeling off and want a reassurance scan. They should give it to you.

@Leaf87 - sorry to hear about you exchanging. These are such strange times, people are losing their jobs everywhere. I am happy you've got another offer and hope this one sticks. We also had our fair share of mishaps before we moved - but it DID happen and we are settled now. 2020 is nearly over and it WILL be a fresh and better start for you.

Lots of love ladies xoxo

@Frankincense88 I have been thinking of you, is all OK?

@msanne so glad all ok your end time is flying by! 💛

@msanne @Leaf87 @MrsTtobe @Bells993

Hi girls,

12 week scan didn't go so well. Couldn't do the screening or any measurements as baby face down and despite drinking 3 bottles of water my bladder still wasn't full enough. They've also said the situation with the reduced amniotic fluid in the sac hasn't improved and the next couple of weeks will be make or break really. They offered me a termination on Thursday and I said no, but I'm under consultant care now and being monitored. If I become unwell and it's an infection it's basically game over for me and I'll have to go in for surgery. Got another scan on the 12th where I think we'll know for sure - they've said it could go either way but in my heart I don't think it's going to end well. I've had reduced fluid since 7/8 weeks and I'm now 13 with no improvement. I've been signed off to WFH until November because I won't cope if I miscarry in school it'll be traumatising so going to WFH until we know what's what and I know I'm safe here if something happens. Not the news we wanted at all and it's taken me a few days to process it but the consultant said there's literally nothing I can do, it'll either improve or it won't.

Keep everything crossed for me but deep down I think I know how this is going to end. If this one doesn't work out that'll be me done for a while, we'll go on some nice holidays once covid buggers off and get a dog to fill the hole in our family 💕 out of interest @Leaf87 what breed are you getting? Xxx

@Frankincense88 I am so sorry, I am sat here crying for you. You are amazingly strong stay positive look after yourself and we will all hope for the best for you!! This was not the news I wanted for you. Working from home will be better for you but if it get too much take some time to yourself!

We are having a burnadoodle so he will be a big boy!! However I wanted a dog that would be laid back but still needs one nice walk a day, and would be good with kids (one day). I am also so over covid its well and truly making 2O20 even harder than it should be!!! 💛💛

@Leaf87 I'm trying to be positive but it's very hard given the circumstances. This year has been absolutely dreadful. It's our first wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks as well so I just hope we know what's what before that comes around.

I think we've decided on a Bedlington Whippet because they're low maintenance, sweet natured and laid back. DH has agreed because I've just said I know I won't cope very well with more bad news and I need some positivity to focus on xxx

@Frankincense88 - I am so sorry hun. It really is hopeless when you cannot do anything to make it better. I feel absolutely sick thinking about this- I am praying that the situation improves by the 12th. If it doesn't, you are already being incredibly strong and you will get through it to the other side - 2020 is shit. 2021 is going to be better - so please focus on the future than what is present.
I'm happy that work is being accomodating of you - and I hope you get the time you need to heal and process this.

Sending you the biggest love and thoughts during this difficult time for you.

Lots and lots of love xoxo

@Frankincense88 I'm so so sorry. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling. You're stuck in such a crappy situation. You're at a stage in your pregnancy now where you should be able to relax a little and start enjoying it so it's awful that you still have all this going on.
Baby is clearly a little fighter though holding on through it all and im sending you love and lots of prayers.🙏

@Bells993 how are you? Hope everything is ok? Xx

Wow ladies! Where has the time gone!
So sorry I’ve missed so many of these!

@Frankincense88 so sorry your having to go through this! Your baby seems like a fighter though so stay positive. Hopefully the bigger he/she is getting the stronger he/she will be! Fingers toes and everything crossed for your next scan! Amazing your off work! Best thing for you to focus on yourself 🥰

@Leaf87 hope your okay! How exciting your getting a puppy! Have you thought anymore about trying again? Where are you at with everything? Xxx

@MrsTtobe what a little pickle! I’m sure everything will be just fine! Just not nice to wait is it! @msanne glad your okay!

I’m 18 weeks today and felt movements as of yesterday! Feel more relaxed now just need to get my 20 week scan over and done with! It’s at 20 weeks 5 days on the 29th

Xxxx

Nice to hear from you @Bells993 glad you're doing well and baby bells is all good. ❤ You going to find out the sex or sticking to your guns and waiting?

@Frankincense88 thinking of you today at your scan. 🙏🙏🙏 Please let us know how you get on xxx

@Frankincense88 - praying for you today xoxo

@msanne @MrsTtobe @Bells993 @Leaf87

Hi ladies, unfortunately today we have no more answers than we did 2 weeks ago. Fluid levels have not improved and they are still unable to do measurements / screenings so I'm now past the point where they could be done with any real accuracy which is causing additional worry.

We've been offered the option to terminate again today or to wait until our consultant appointment on the 27th to see if any developments but in all honesty I'm not holding out much hope. We've decided to wait because I couldn't bring myself to terminate after seeing baby jiggling about and waving on screen. If there's even the smallest chance I'd still rather hedge my bets even though the odds are stacked against us.

My biggest worry is that I will have to actually give birth as I'll be 16 weeks at my next appointment and my hospital does not generally offer surgical management past 8 weeks but they have assured me that if it comes to that, they can send me elsewhere for it (likely a big city with more facilities.)

They checked the stomach, kidneys and cord which look ok but couldn't identify a bladder which could be the cause of all this and meaning baby won't live. But we'll find out more on the 27th hopefully. I'm starting to show now and most of my clothes are a bit tight which is even more heartbreaking because I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror 😢

Thanks for thinking of me. I hope you're all doing well and sending love to all 💕💕💕

Hey @Frankincense88,

Sorry to hear that you still don't have any clarity. Have they ruled out the trisomies for you? It is a bit sucky that they keep making you wait so long - is there a reason for the delay other than Consultant availability?

Not sure if it is helpful, but I had something similar earlier this year when our baby was sick and I really threw my toys out of the pram before they escalated my level of care and timeliness of my appointments. I know that it's the last thing you want to do when you are feeling so emotional, but if you aren't up to it, get your partner to do it. They should see you sooner - you are high risk and on edge, no reason why you should have to wait two weeks.
As to what may follow; please remember, whatever you will have to do, you will be strong enough to get through it. You will cry and you will hurt, but you will heal. I delivered our little girl at 16 weeks in March (by choice as I didn't want to do it surgically) and it was by far the worst thing I have ever had to do. But, my body did heal, my mind has good days and bad days, but this healthy pregnancy which I am having now is extra special because of it. There will be a rainbow at the end of it for you. I always think, that our little girl gave up her place to allow her little brother to come into the world and we will always have a guardian angel. You are doing the right thing in fighting for her, and i'm praying for a miracle for you.

Please let us know if there is anything you want to talk about or need advice on.

Sending you the biggest love.

xoxo

@msanne nope, sadly they can't rule out any trisonomys because there isn't enough fluid to do the NT or take any clear measurements so there's the added worry that even if fluid levels increase then baby may still have something wrong and not survive.

They've been pretty good tbh because I've made it very clear I'm struggling and have said if I want to make an appointment to speak to the consultant about my options then I can but it seems like a bit of a waste because they still won't be able to see anything or tell us anything we don't already know because the scans simply aren't clear enough due to lack of fluid. So they've advised us to wait in the hope we might be able to see something on the 27th but I'm really not holding out much hope. I just don't think I'll cope knowing my first experience of birth could result in no baby and I think it'll make any subsequent pregnancies full of anxiety and worry. In all honesty I'm just glad I'm working from home and don't have the added pressure of being in school and putting on a brave face for 150 kids each day! Xxx