TTC after miscarriage - January 2020

[MilsCookie]

Hello all (and late Merry Christmas!)

Looking for TTC buddies in a similar situation! 👋

In September I accidentally became pregnant. We had planned to begin TTC in Jan 2020 anyway, so we were really excited. Sadly, at my 12 week scan on 25th Nov, I found out I had had a missed miscarriage and the baby had stopped growing at about 9 weeks. The week that followed was one of the most traumatic in my life, having failed medical management and then an ERPC. All this happened whilst I was in another country.

Since then my recovery has been okay but all I can think about is wanting to be pregnant again and have been hoping and praying that my period returns soon so that we can officially start trying.

This morning I have had brown discharge and cramping, so it does feel like AF is on the way. So I guess I am going to count today as CD1 of my first official TTC cycle?

I wondered if anyone had been through anything similar and if so I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to go through. It really is a horrendous time. 💐

Anyone want to join me? 💕

Is it possible to have that feeling of AF arriving but actually being pregnant?!
I felt nothing really in my last two pregnancies at 4 weeks and I'm getting that feeling where I know I'm probably going to come on but no cramps just that windy bloating feeling... do I have a chance 😟😟😟😟

@Cruiser1 what are your cramps like? Try and take it easy. So hard not to worry. Everything I feel makes me nervous.

I'm so anxious about everything. Feel like I'll be testing everyday to see that the second line stays dark. I need to try and think about something else. So hard!!

To make matters worse I trapped my toddlers little fingers in one of his draws tonight. Feel awful and so guilty.

@AwkwardPaws27 100% do it. They will be grateful tbh as its easier to see a summary in writing rather than a convoluted verbal history in my experience. If you say you have had previous pregnancies and hand them the paper, saying sorry its upsetting to say out loud. They will be fine with that x

Aww @AwkwardPaws27 you poor thing. Yes definitely type something out and hand it to them. Tell them you find it hard to keep talking about it so if they could read your printout that would help 👍🏼
If they have a problem with that then they’re in the wrong profession and have no business near a vulnerable patient!

Yes @SweetpeaOrMarigold I had cramps like this with my first miscarriage so I’m very concerned right now! I didn’t have any cramps on my first pregnancy with DD or with my most recent miscarriage..... maybe boys give me cramps?! 😂😂 who knows

Thank you AlviesMam & SweetpeaOrMarigold I appreciate your thoughts on this. I didn't want to be strange or make a big fuss over it but talking about it just brings all the emotions to the surface.

I'm actually dreading getting a positive test, which sounds ridiculous as I really want to have a child with my DH, but I worry that I won't be able relax and enjoy being pregnant as I'm too aware of what can go wrong.

Anyone? 😢

Is it possible to have that feeling of AF arriving but actually being pregnant?!
I felt nothing really in my last two pregnancies at 4 weeks and I'm getting that feeling where I know I'm probably going to come on but no cramps just that windy bloating feeling... do I have a chance 😟😟😟😟

Yes @AlviesMam I felt exactly that the day before I got my bfp and I remember another 2 women saying the same thing in the thread at the time xx

Tbh I always found most of pregnancy felt like some variation of having your period. Bloating, back ache, cramps. Goes for my successful pregnancy and my mmc

@toomanyleggings @SweetpeaOrMarigold

Thank you both.
I've had two losses and with both of them I didn't feel anything I had no period symptoms just burped a lot!!
I'm due on in two days and don't have strong symptoms just bloating and wind and the mildest lower back pain. I just don't know what to think. With my last two pregnancies being similar in symptoms why would this one be any different? :( xxx

@Cruiser1 I have literally started having a dull cramping feeling (more to the left side) all evening, after having sharp twinges on both sides for the last two days. 🤷🏼‍♀️

@AwkwardPaws27 so sorry to hear of your losses. We’re all going through the same thing here so I hope you find some support in this thread. I definitely think it would be a good idea to give them a sheet with your history on. I know how painful it is to talk about the mc without crying. Any time I talk about it with other people I end up in tears! Big hug 😘

@AlviesMam how long are your cycles usually? You’re not out until AF arrives! Try not to worry just yet (easier said than done I know!)

@BecsterG oh you poor thing. It was an accident, they will be ok! 😘 So if you have your BFP (yay!) do you think you’re around 4 weeks now? I’m keeping everything crossed for you! 🍀🌈

@MilsCookie 27-28 days! So tomorrow I have one more day to wait....
Sorry for the TMI but I'm so windy lol not massively bloated but feel that bloated feeling as though AF is going to show but not as strong as last month.
It's torture 😢😢😢😢

Thanks @MilsCookie . I'm sure he's fine but still feel awful.

Yes about 4 weeks. Keeping everything crossed.

Good luck to you ladies in your TTW. Hopefully see some more positives on here.

@Cruiser1 could just be pregnancy cramps? Hard to know but try stay positive. Fingers and toes crossed.

@AlviesMam I always burped a lot. It's the progesterone I think I read. My dd though I had minimal nausea. I think it's really hard to read symptoms because whether you have a baby bedding in or you're about to bleed it all involves strain on your uterus. I know it's difficult but you just have to be hopeful until someone tells you otherwise. I'm trying to enjoy this time between pregnancies because I know I'm going to be out of my mind with worry if I get another bfp

@toomanyleggings thank you, it just gets so close to the date I'm due and I get obsessed over symptoms wondering is it period or a positive 😟 got no CM this time which I always get before AF. Got CM around 8 weeks pregnant last time hmmmm x

@AlviesMam the waiting is the hardest part isn’t it. This is only my first month actively ttc and I already hate the TWW! When will you test then? Keeping everything crossed for you! 🍀

@BecsterG I can imagine. I’m sure he won’t even remember it in the morning! So excited for you. 🌈 Thank you for staying with us all while we’re in the TWW (or whatever stage we’re all at!)

Hope the rest of the ladies in this thread are all doing okay!! 👋😘

I imagine at the rate we’re going this thread will be full in the next few days so don’t forget to head over to the new one created by @TerribleImagination (thank you!) for February 2020 on the conception board! We all gotta stick together 👊🏼💪🏼

Baby dust to all! ✨👣🎇🌈❤️

Also the last four days I've been having vivid dreams again which I noticed during my last pregnancy... anyone else had these before xxx

@MilsCookie I'm not going to test until I'm late as AF is usually bang on the date never late ! Xx

@MilsCookie good luck to you on the TWW 🤞🏼🙌🏼 xxxx

Thank you so much for your lovely message @GoldenBauble. I need to remember that I can actually get PG and I too feel quickly last time. It's just this bloody too-ing and fro-ing between 'Am I Pregnant?' 'Am I not pregnant?' And the absolute worst is getting your hopes up .... next time no testing before period due date. It just makes me a nervous wreck. Thank you again for being so kind and picking me up when I needed it. ❤❤ Baby dust to you xx

@Cruiser1 thank you to you too. ❤ I think cramps is definitely a good sign. Hope you are feeling better.

@MilsCookie thank you doll. 😘❤ xx

Did another test this morning with FMU, only had one last CB one left. You can't really see it but there is a faint positive line. Still no AF, two days late today. Think this is either a CP or a positive from Retained Products of the miscarriage... but I've had a period and ovulated since.

Just not sure what to think.

@StephyRose we’re in the same boat.... I tested again this morning and the line isn’t getting darker, it’s actually a bit lighter 😞
I’m thinking it could be CP 😞

Having said that, there’s a chance it’s just that my urine wasn’t concentrated enough. At this early stage the urine really needs to be concentrated

The next couple of days will be hard

@AlviesMam I had the vivid dreams too! I also had them this month though, and I got AF bang on time, as well as the same full sore boobs as before, so think I might have had a chemical the more I think about it... But yeah vivid dreams were deffo a sign for me!

@StephyRose did you get a clear negative on a FRER after the miscarriage? I doubt it would be residual HCG 2 months later

I hope it's a case of afternoon urine best for you! Or sadly may be a CP :( so sorry hun if that's the case

@Cruiser1 you are still a while off from AF due so still lots of time for HCG to increase. Let us know how you get on tomorrow

@AlviesMam lovely to hear from you 💗 fingers crossed for a positive test xx

8dpo today ladies literally 0 symptoms and my temps are low ish (well not pre ovulation low but a little bit lower than my usual post ovulation temps) so not looking promissing.

Still optimistic though as stranger things have happened.

I've woken up this morning with zero symptoms. Cramps, boob pain and nausea all gone. No idea what that means.
Certainly if we haven't got it this month, we are going to have a lot of wine, never had the chance as I was pg over Christmas and NY and then was too sad/had my son/work /started ttc again so I will definitely deserve it.

Hi @Anny27,

I did get negative tests after my period doll, you are right. I've started bleeding this morning. It's not like a normal period, its browny-red so I can only deduce it is a CP. I'm going to ring my doctors today because I haven't spoken to anyone medical since the day of my ERPC and I'm sick of second guessing and googling everything.

I looked up CP. It is down to chromosomal abnormalities .... what the fuck is wrong with my body? I feel like I wont ever be able to do this 😪😥💔

Everything crossed for you that this is your month darling. ❤🌈🎉👶🏼

@Cruiser1 dont give up hope. You've got this!! ❤❤

@SweetpeaOrMarigold hell to the yes to those things! If I'm not pregnant I am breaking my dry January on the 1st by consuming an entire bottle of wine with the most disgusting expensive non pasterised gooey cheese I can find!