10+ months TTC

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I've just reached cycle 10 and I'm despairing. I've tried to stay focused and positive all this time but it's all gotten a bit much. Each month I've tried something new but nothing seems to be working. (This month is acupuncture month, last month was fertilitea month)!

I guess I just needed to vent I don't want to sound like a total debbie downer but today's been tough!

Sorry trying don't know the answer yet as hoping to have one after my next fertility consult. Did AF show up as expected or are you still in the game?xxx

Am three days before AF and all usual AF-is-coming symptoms here so looks like we are on to Cycle 19. I'm so bored of TTC! I've gone through so many thought loops and now I think the monotony of it is just what I notice most. It's ground hog day. How on earth were we so lucky as to conceive after one unprotected shag first time where we so weren't trying versus like I don't know 100 fruitless attempts this time! That said I think I've reached a point of having much more acceptance about it all. Though I'd been thinking of going for ivf by end of summer, i feel like I want to give it the full two years before starting now. Might even god forbid take a few months off in order to bring some magic back to the bedroom as the pressure and timing is wearing on us both. I couldn't have imagined myself saying that a few months ago so feeling good about that and pleasantly surprised.

Hope everyone else is well and time for more good news here soon I'm sure! Xx

Yeah Cola AF hit me with a bang the following day, had hideous pains this time but didn't last long so hopefully back to normal for this cycle. I think we are about cycle 19 as well, though I've lost count now really, and it's just crap isn't it. I'm terrified of IVF but am slowly coming closer to accepting that it may be the only way. I know I'm a big wuss but it's hard facing fears. Feeling a bit low about it all just now but I'm sure I'll get back to feeling more positive soon. I hope you get a happy surprise but I totally relate to what you said about never imagining yourself doing x or y.... this whole thing is a rollercoaster where things evolve and change I think.

Good news would be great indeed - looking forward to seeing some!

Hi everyone, I've been on the monthly buses but have now been TTC for ten months so his might be a better place!
TTC #2
I have PCOS and have also identified myself that I have a short luteal phase which is why I'm not conceiving.
I'm now waiting for my appointment to see a fertility consultant. Not expecting I'll get much help though due to have a dc already.

Can I just ask, if anyone has already been referred, what tests were carried out first. I've had day 21 bloods and that it! No sperm analysis for DH and no other blood tests for me.

Welcome, boatrace.

I've just had my tests after referral and they were sperm analysis for DP (he had one via GP referral and now another at request of hospital- it is normal to have a repeat rather than just go off one test) , 3 day and 21 day bloods (actually they were day 17 and 23 for me as my cycles are a bit wonky) plus ultrasound and HSG for me. If you are known to have PCOS I don't know whether that changes things, as I think one of the reasons to have the day 3 bloods is to rule that out.

If you already have a DC you won't get assisted conception on NHS but you should still get investigations.

My first appointment at the hospital was mostly a long chat with a nurse to establish history and then she took a swab to check for chlamydia. The other tests were then booked in over a couple of months and we are waiting to see the consultant next month to go through them all.

Hope that helps a little. I get the impression GPs can be a bit variable but once you get referred there is a fairly standard raft of tests then.

Good luck

Hi boatrace.

DP had SA results - low morphology (1%) but lots of sperm. Have to be patient apparently. That is so killing me right now.

Glad to hear your feeling positive, cola.

Thank you trying. Really helpful! I'm very aware that I would t be able to get ivf of anything but hoped a could maybe get Clomid as I feel that would help. Presumably once you have all these tests done you then wouldn't have to pay to repeat them privately.
It's all so frustrating. I was kind of expecting this first time round and got pregnant in 6months (and really it was less as my first few cycles post pill were definitely nowhere near right) so this time I had higher hopes.

Hi everyone

Well as predicted taking a more relaxed approach made zero difference and AF turned up bang on time last week! On to cycle 14 we go... I know exactly what you mean about the monotony cola, I am so so bored of thinking about infertility and worrying about infertility and the endless cycle of waiting for ovulation / waiting for period, plus all the waiting for appointments and test results. It really is like groundhog day.

Hi boatrace we have had to do day 3 and day 21 bloods (x3), ultrasound and 2 x SA for DH through the GP before we can be referred to fertility clinic. Hoping we don't then have to repeat them when we get to that point! Just one more blood test to do then we get referred on. I'm not too sure what tests come next, it's on my list of questions for the GP. The order of things seems to vary in different areas.

sooz sorry about the SA results - did they give you any advice on next steps or do you just have to go away and keep trying for longer before you can get any help?

Xx

trying sorry to hear about AF. I remember a few months ago you were sharing how nervous you were with tests, and look at you now, flying through each of them in your stride - well done you!! X

Welcome boatrace - sorry to hear about the PCOS, but good you have the consult. They will redo or organise all the tests, scans, bloods, mine redid most even though doctor had done them already. TBH I think it's better as the gps are not all great with infertility so best someone does and looks at them that interprets them correctly and recommends the right course of action. X

Hi sooz What have they said to do about morphology, just keep trying? x

sunshine sorry about AF. It's all SO BORING! The only nice thing is my next fw falls on the bank holiday weekend so at least a chance to actually have a decent amount of sex woop woop 😂

I've made the TTC 1y+ appointment. It's in June. I have no idea what to expect They said I should come alone without DH.

Cola thanks for reminding me I have made progress - sometimes doesn't feel like it but you're right, I have managed to get through all the things I was scared about so it proves anyone can do it! Hope your bank holiday shagfest goes well!!

As you're not in the UK I guess it could be different, Bertie, but my first appointment was basically just taking history and a couple of swabs, then arranging some tests. I got myself all worked up about it but actually it was a total non-event and everyone was really nice. Well done on getting it booked, I don't know about you but I found it quite a tough milestone actually having to face the idea there may be a problem, but it had to be done and at least it is a step in the right direction. You'll be fine, honestly

Well I've been reading online now because I wasn't sure about the doctor I picked and whether it was right, and I've sent an email to a specific genetic counselling place since we know there is a genetic history on DH's side and he's been told he has it. It's listed as a "rare cause" or not at all on most of the other sites so I'm a bit worried that we'll get through loads of other more common tests first which aren't necessary? Who knows. I find it a bit difficult to communicate with the doctor I have now too (little English) and while she's kind I just think perhaps it's better when this is pretty important to be able to communicate clearly with a person, though I'll probably just translate the terms or find something I can print off in German maybe?

Anyway, we were told before that it was a REALLY long wait for a genetic doctor so I've sent an email to the less popular clinic by the looks of things. Even if it's a while to wait, I feel like getting on all of the lists is probably a good idea? :) Perhaps my uterus will start to feel paranoid and get kicked into touch

Hi there I was hoping to Join if that's OK?

Have been lurking on this site and following this thread for a year and a half maybe two years now. didn't know where and if I fitted in to this thread.

This is because of having to give up ttc and go back on the pill after around 12 months ttc as I have endometriosis and it's around the 12 month mark the pain becomes unbearable without hormone contraceptive. This time around is the longest I have ttc consecutivly, came off the pill last year Feb and full cycle was in March so 15 months. Have been ttc all together for around 3 years now.

I did conceive once 3 years ago which ended in an early miscarriage which is tomorrow (19th).

Am on Cd#2 Af arrived yesterday afternoon, a little early.

Am in the process of just now being referred to a fertility consultant. Very few people in rl know the full situation and only a couple of close friends know about the referral to fertility clinic.

Hoping to chat and gain advice on next steps forward and keeping positive really as although I don't feel like giving up I have lost some heart with Ttc. Thanks for reading
Xxx

Welcome Hopefully, of course you can join. So sorry to hear about your miscarriage and about your struggles with endo.

Your referral sounds like a positive step, do you have long to wait? And are you in the UK? I was referred at the beginning of the year and have had what seems to be the standard raft of tests (bloods to check ovulation and hormone balance, ultrasound and HSG (dye and x ray to check tubes), plus semen analysis for DP) so waiting to see consultant in a couple of weeks for results. I don't know if you've already had some tests but if there's anything you want to ask please do, there are plenty of us at various stages of investigation etc on here.

As for staying positive, it can be really tough at times and I certainly struggle myself especially around the time AF is due/arrives as my hormones have quite an effect. I find exercise helps me to keep a level head and trying to take things in stages, one test at a time, helps too. I like the Headspace app for meditation, which I try to do regularly but often forget about - oops! Is there any particular thing you're worried about or are you just feeling a bit worn down from it all?

Hi Tryingtostayrational

Thank-you for the welcome and your kind post

Yes I am in the UK. I have just booked the appointment, it's at the end of June not sure if that's a long wait or reasonable waiting time for a fertility clinic it's all quite new to me.

I have had tests previously due to the endo issues which also covered fertility side of things iyswim. Had a ultrasound, hystercopy, hormone and day 21 blood tests. Hormone and day 21 showed normal results and that I'm ovulating. Ultrasound and Hysterscopy, there was nothing at all to indicate why I have the endo pain and why I'm not getting pregnant.

I had a laproscopy a few years back and the discharge papers said my tubes looked normal and clear. Any tests since have also said the same. Which is why the gynecological consultant wanted me referred to get to some proper investigations going . DP hasent has semen analysis as of yet. He's a bit apprehensive about it all and up until very recently has been very reluctant.

I'm just worn down in a way with all the stop, start of it with the endo issues, the monotony, Trying to be positive, Waiting hopefully, just for it to amount to AF at the end of every Cycle. And hen for an extra kick the pain and crappy feeling that comes with it. I'm like you, my hormones have a big impact on how my mood is affected.

I'm glad to hear the exercise is helping you and you have the Meditation app have not heard of that app. I hope all goes well with your results in a couple of weeks and it goes quickly for you getting to your appointment date.

Thank-you again for taking the time to chat and all the helpful information

Xx

Test

Ok sorry about the test message but every time I've tried to post in last two days it's failed and I've lost all i typed!!

I had a question about supplements. Apart from multi vit / folic acid, what else are people on? I dabbled with EPO for cervical mucus for one month but it made me spot mid cycle which freaked me out so I gave it up. Accupuncture seems to have sorted CM out for me and cycles have been pleasantly regular since start of year.

I've read "it starts with the egg" and am now adding in Coq10 and Vitamin E in order to improve egg quality. Apparently eggs start developing 3-4 months before ovulation so takes a while to impact them but supposedly makes a big difference to quality and is a good idea if you end up doing ivf.

Anyone else supplementing? Being no expert I've been a bit reluctant but seems like sensible research and if you keep within recommended levels no side effects.

Hope everyone is well x

I'm taking B50 to try and lengthen my luteal phase. I think I may have got an extra day last month but not 100%sure. Also taking vit c with zinc and magnesium as all are meant to be good for progesterone (I think I have low levels)

hopefully, sounds like you've had a really tough time. End of June sounds good to me. I was referred six weeks ago and got September initially, though I have now re referred to a different hospital and now have an appt in July.

Thanks boatrace I am ok luteal phase length wise at 13/14 days most months & progesterone ok, my multivitamin has those in it. Apparently the coq10 is great for energy so that will be a nice bonus if it proves to be the case

Ladies the waiting is the worst, im finally within two weeks of my second nhs fertility appointment. I cynically wonder if they make the waits long just to see if you get pregnant between visits!

Hello ladies
Been a while since I posted. Just checking in to hear how the tough journey is going for everyone. Rooting for your bfps .l am waiting to start cycle 24.
It's been af after af and have been really down.dh is insisting that this be our last month trying but I would really like to at least try a few more cycles of iui.

Sorry for your loss @chlo .hope you get your rainbow baby soon.

Having said that cola I think people often do get pregnant once the process starts! My gp had just started doing initial bloods etc when I fell pregnant with DD. She said it was amazing how often it happened! A shame it hasn't this time and the same for all of you

Hi ladies

Hello hopefully sorry to hear you have had such a crappy time. I might have questions for you further down the line on the endo as my scan showed I might have it and I do have some of the symptons, I'm hoping they will investigate further when we eventually get referred to the fertility clinic.

Interesting question on supplements cola I have been wondering about this too! Currently just taking folic acid and a vit B complex to try and help with spotting before AF, I think it has made a little difference. I gave up on pre conception vits as the pregnacare ones made me gag because they were so big to swallow, and the one month I took seven seas I had a really bizarre cycle where I ovulated really late. I just feel a bit sceptical about how much difference they can really make if you have a healthy diet anyway. After 14 cycles I'm quite cynical about all these various things that are meant to help as nothing has happened for us!

Saying that I also think I have low progesterone boatrace so I might try those things you mentioned! I have a short luteal phase and always spot before AF. The two day 21 tests I've had so far have been normal / satisfactory apparently but they were 17 and 20 which seems really low based on what I can find online! I don't know if the timing was a bit wrong though, have one more to do so will see what that comes back as.

Hope you are all having a nice weekend xx

sunshine I think those levels are on the cusp of normal. Mine was 15, and it was seven days after ovulation but only two days before AF started and my temp had started to drop already. How short is your LP?

Hi mimi, sorry to hear you're so down. Hope things look up soon.
As for supplements, I don't take anything except pre-conception tablets (folic acid). Just try to eat fairly healthily (hmm) and don't really drink alcohol, and have cut down on caffeine.

Hi all. I'm a wanderer on fertility forums as I don't seem to fit anywhere

TTC for nearly 18 months now. 1 MMC. 2 chemicals. Nothing since October. Started fertility route & lap showed I have a blocked tube. Now awaiting bloods to check for any disorders before IVF referral.

Spoke to someone last week who had abnormal bloods & therefore couldn't have IVF & it's absolutely terrified me that I'm going to be the same. I have to wait until the 30th for my results. Struggling to get through the days. I just cry constantly. It doesn't help that I hate my job (trying to find another but failing at that too)

Anyone feeling as low/depressed as me? How do you get through the days?