10+ months TTC

[Kookie88]

I've just reached cycle 10 and I'm despairing. I've tried to stay focused and positive all this time but it's all gotten a bit much. Each month I've tried something new but nothing seems to be working. (This month is acupuncture month, last month was fertilitea month)!

I guess I just needed to vent I don't want to sound like a total debbie downer but today's been tough!

Hope the ultrasound goes ok rational. Good way to look at it.. you still have another cycle of trying. Glad you're doing ok cola, it definitely helps to step back and not make it the whole focus of your life, it's just not healthy and makes you so miserable.
After my post about feeling great, my husband went out on weds when it was time to dtd and got absolutely smashed and we've had a massive argument. He goes out once a month after work like this and its he only thing we argue about but this is last month before we go to see the ivf clinic and I just can't believe how selfish he's been doing that. He's saying he's sorry obviously and won't drink now until we conceive but I just feel so angry. I was at home doing yoga eating eggs and spinach and he's out on the piss and doing other stuff. Feel absolutely fuming with him :(

I know exactly why you're angry as it feels so unfair, ivf is all going to be a load of palaver for our bodies that we are willing to put ourselves through - the least the could do is shag us, which is enjoyable, at the right time. It frustrates me no end!!!

Argh Chlo that's so so annoying! I think plenty of us have been in similar situations. I never would have believed some of the arguments we've had until ttc began. My DP started whinging slightly about having to do another SA the other day - I was like "if I could just masturbate instead of having to have 4 sets of bloods and a heap of instruments shoved up my vagina I probably wouldn't care if it was bloody televised!" Ok I probably would care, but flipping heck it is annoying when you're doing your best and they seemingly can't just suck it up and do what's needed to help. Hope he pampers you this weekend!

Does the 2ww ever get easier ... even though I'm not expecting to be pregnant, I'm 3dpo and wondering already could this be the month. It's so hard not to think about that I need to actively force myself to think of other things and scold myself when I get too focused on it!

Lol damn me this TTC is just a mad frustrating experience.

Hi all

New to this. In 25 days time I will have been ttc #1 for a whole year. Spoke to my doctor and really felt like I was being fobbed off. She asked did I smoke I said no, she then asked if I was taking folic acid I said yes so her final response was that my weight was probably the reason I hadn't conceived. I was a bit miffed to say the least. I mean yes I am overweight but not to those extremes surely. Bit gutted that it hasn't happened yet and I know if there are any problems they lie with me as my dh has a child from a previous relationship. Any advice?

Hi ladies, I've been trying not to look on here too much whilst I was off on holiday but I've been keeping up with your updates! Sorry AF turned up for some of you - as cola said, we must be due some good news on this thread soon, surely?!

That's frustrating about your DH chlo - the timing is the one thing we can control so it's very annoying when they don't always appreciate the importance of doing it at the right time! Good to hear you've started your business though, wishing you lots of luck with it.

I feel like being away on holiday has been really good for my state of mind, I actually didn't think about TTC that much, we didn't talk about it alot and we just dtd loads for the sake of it! I think I ovulated whilst we were away so just need to wait and see if the "relax and go on holiday" method works (hasn't worked on any of the other holidays we've been on in the last year so I'm not really expecting it to, but always hoping of course!)

Back to reality now though... DH has his second SA next week, I need to book my day 21 bloods for next cycle and a GP appointment so we can be referred to the fertility unit. And back to work on Monday where I am literally surrounded by pregnant people - I know it's not their fault but it just feels like a big fat reminder of my failings!

I have been reading 'Inconceivable' by Ben Elton (I think somebody mentioned it on this thread a while ago, or maybe it was a different thread) - I read it years ago, but I'm enjoying re-reading it. It's quite amusing giving the man and the woman's different points of view as they are going through all the hopes / disappointments / tests that are familiar to us! It's a bit dated now but I'd recommend it as alot of it has really resonated with me!

Hi bella sorry you find yourself here too. It does sound like you were fobbed off, I would have thought they would offer you and your partner the initial tests at least- could you try seeing a different GP? People's experiences seem to vary so much depending on who they see.

Hi sunshine. Unfortunately at the moment the other gp in our area is off however dh being the gem that he is paid for me to have a private scan so now it's just bloods I need done (the scan came back completely clear). Hopefully the other gp will be back soon. I was absolutely gutted with her attitude. Everyone around me is pregnant and some of them are more overweight than me

I can't believe your weight is really the determining factor, Bella, unless you're very heavy which you say you aren't. There are plenty of women out there who get pregnant when they're overweight! My BMI is just under 30 and I'm ring to bring it down but I refuse to believe I'm not pregnant after 15 months just because of that. Good luck with the bloods!

Welcome, Bella! Sorry you've found yourself in this position, we all know the frustration of ttc. It sounds like your GP wasn't v helpful. Are you under 35? If you are then I think the guidance is to wait until 12 months of trying and then start by offering tests such as blood tests to check ovulation and hormone balance and a sperm analysis for your partner. Just because he has had a child before doesn't mean he doesn't need to be checked out.

Weight can be an issue if your BMI is over 30 but it doesn't sound like it is from what you said, plus there is no way she could possibly know without doing lots of tests that there isn't something else preventing you conceiving. There's a pretty good summary on the NHS site: www.nhs.uk/conditions/Infertility/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Obviously I hope this month is your lucky month, but if it isn't then it is def worth going back and asking for some tests. It's tough getting to the 12 month mark but if you do you aren't alone and it certainly doesn't mean it can't happen for you.

Thanks folks. I am 32 (33 in a few months). I had been for a smear and it was the nurse who asked how long we had been ttc for and advised me to see the doctor. I have only ever seen this female doctor once and I really didn't like her attitude. None of the other doctors or nurses I have ever seen in my life have mentioned my weight (I am nearly 6ft tall and 14 stone which for my height is not extremely overweight). When I went for the private scan there wasn't one mention of my weight they were lovely

DH is a bit sad today. We'd been talking about getting a dog for a while but kept getting rejected and today he said we should look at cats instead, but they won't give us one of those either. We even tried to buy some gerbils the other week, but the pet shop was sold out of the right sized cage, the bigger ones were too big, and they wouldn't sell them with a smaller one! Gah! I know it's silly but it does feel a bit like the universe isn't letting us have anything to look after!

Oh Bertie, that's rotten! Why aren't you allowed a dog or cat? You'd have thought they were looking for lovely homes for the many animals out there.

It's because we live in a flat, but frustrating as we had been told that being in a flat was no problem. Lots of our friends in flats have pets - it's so common to live in flats here! But we're renewing our efforts to search for a house.

Awww Bertie that's a shame. Hope you are soon able to have a pet. I know it isn't the same but would borrowmydoggy work for you? I know some friends who have found it good as they aren't in a position to have their own dog. Maybe a temporary idea for you?

No, we're not in the UK so that doesn't work. Thanks fir the suggestion :)

Ah no, sorry had forgotten where you were. Hope you are soon sorted x

Hi ladies.

I'm on the may train thread and I'm just wondering if I'd be more at home here? Please say if not. I've not been trying for 10 cycles or more (in fact this is cycle 2). BUT we have Male Factor fertility issues and we had ICSI to have DC1 in 2011. We tried for 2.5 years before that. Luckily for us we conceived DD unexpectedly (we weren't trying and I was breast feeding too). Now we would like number 3 (greedy?). But given DH's absolutely shite sperm (all areas were utter crap) it is probably going to take a long time. We also have embryos in storage which we may use if we are still trying in a year or two.

Would I be welcome here?

Timpani we aren't at all exclusive here so by all means join in but you might find it's useful to look at the infertility boards as there are threads for male factor and for secondary infertility - most of us here either aren't on ivf yet or are starting to move in that direction - lots of us undergoing investigations to find out what's causing long waits for us. Most of us are either close to a year or just over a year trying. I don't think it's greedy to want more kids - everyone has their dreams and their idea of the ideal family. Mine has always been at least four but now that we are struggling to conceive a second I'm certainly feeling that's a non runner! Who know what life has in store for us

Xxx

Thanks :)

I kind of feel in limbo like I don't belong anywhere because I've had ivf yet also a natural unexpected preg when we weren't trying haha!

Of course you're welcome, Timpani. Great to hear that you've had success twice despite male factor issues. Hope you have another happy surprise!

Hi timpani. Lovely to hear you've had 2 dc despite male factor issues! Can I ask why you are waiting for a year or two to use your frozen embryos? Just seeing how things play out?

Yes. Because we've got time I guess. The embryos have a free years before they 'expire'. And it'll cost about £1500 for an attempt with about a 15% success rate! So we are giving it a try naturally for a bit. It's worked once...

Secondary infertility! I only recently realised that term applied to me.

But yes I don't think anyone is going to shun you for not having exactly 10 months under your belt, I think it's more to escape all of the "It's been 2 cycles and I'm soooooo impatient!" and "What is BBT hun?!" posts mainly which are of course legitimate comments but slightly tiresome when you've been in the game so long.

So...a question for folk who have had an HSG....I had mine this month and am now two days before when I thought AF would arrive (normally it is like clockwork 12 days from the day I get a peak on my clearblue ovulation wotsit) and I've started bleeding. Did anyone else have an early period after an HSG? Obvs I want to imagine this is implantation bleeding but I don't think it is. Meh.