10+ months TTC

[Kookie88]

I've just reached cycle 10 and I'm despairing. I've tried to stay focused and positive all this time but it's all gotten a bit much. Each month I've tried something new but nothing seems to be working. (This month is acupuncture month, last month was fertilitea month)!

I guess I just needed to vent I don't want to sound like a total debbie downer but today's been tough!

Just tested and got a negative... shouldn't have done it as it's made me feel low... no AF yet, but have a feeling she's on her way, not totally out this month yet though...!

Hi Margo!! Weekend wa good hope yours was too!!! And hi wobble sorry to hear if your heartache!! And I'm fascinated by my OPK results!!! I have a 28 day cycle and positive results on day 16&17 so I'm so glad I did them! I just assumed I'd ovulate on day 14 so DTD around then!! So I'm thinking we probably missed it sometimes!! Ahhhh I see well I might invest in one! I'm sure I can get into a routine :)
Oh no temptation got too much! Yo are DEFFO not out yet though!! Keep the positivity going xxx

Nice to see you on here again Keepingfaith, I am glad to hear about your positive OPK results. Interesting that you have found out you ovulate later than you thought, that should really help you going forward... but hopefully you won't have to think of the future and will get your bfp this month

Really shouldn't have tested early, feel very deflated and have shed a few tears this evening - hasn't helped that I've been alone as DH plays football on Monday evenings. Been watching trash (Married At First Sight!) whilst eating far too much chocolate! I need to realise that the date I am supposed to test is 3 days away so all is not lost but it's hard...

I like this thread as there aren't loads of people, with larger ones it can be hard to keep track of everyone and be a bit daunting if you haven't posted for a few days!

Hi ladies, would you mind if I join? I'm on cycle 10 TTC #2, my DD1 is 2 soon.
Really thought I'd be PG by now - DD was a happy accident, so I expected us to be instant. 10 months later and nothing - it's such an emotional rollercoaster and can be so disheartening. I've done OPKs and all, doesn't seem to be any issue with ovulating regularly.
Trying to relax but every cycle I cave and test and those BFNs are a bummer. Currently expecting AF tomorrow, bfn earlier today.

Nice to meet you all x

Margo :)... I know it was very interesting!! Definitely an eye opener!! And yes!! Fingers crossed!! Trying not to get my hopes up though! YOU ARE NOT OUT YET!!! Trashy tv and chocolate can't fail on cheering you up though I'm really keeping everything crossed for you :) ... testing early is so tempting and I know how disappointing it can be I will just say though with my pregnancy that ended last year I didn't get a positive until I tested a week late!! ... love this thread too I think the same ;)...welcome cola... sorry to hear of your troubles your in the right place I hope your luck changes :)

Welcome Cola TTC is indeed an emotional rollercoaster! Early pregnancy tests are very disheartening- each time I do one I wish I hadn't! I hope there'll be a day when I'll be glad I did... Has AF arrived yet?

Faith I too got my positive test a week late with my pregnancy earlier this year too! We should remember this! How are you feeling? A bit early for any 'signs' I guess...

I had a development in the wrong direction this morning, my temperature went down dramatically and I feel like AF is definitely coming.

Went out with some ladies from work last night to celebrate 2 of them going on maternity leave. Had a lovely evening although we mostly spoke about babies! One of the ladies is due 4 days before the due date of my MC so it is a constant reminder of what could have been and makes it hard. I try not to think about it too much!

DH and I are going to see Josh Widdicombe tomorrow night so that is brilliant timing and a bit of laughter will definitely cheer me up

Thanks Faith. I could often slap myself for testing early but I just can't resist and like you Margo I'm hoping one day to see the good news!!

Ah Margo, that must be hard as a reminder but hopefully it will get easier over time. I had a friend MC at 9 weeks last year and she has just had her little rainbow baby in the summer. She's really in a great place now and I wish the same for you.

Comedy tonight sounds lovely, enjoy that! I'm off to Ireland to see my family tomorrow so glad to have lots to look forward to.

I'm one day late which isn't too unusual for me but feeling the pains that signal start of AF. Just wish it would hurry and arrive now so I can get on to next cycle. Whenever I'm a day late like this even if I just know AF is coming, there's still this teeny smidgen of hope that I just try to ignore cos I've had my fill of disappointment from the BFNs & don't wanna get hopes up again!

Is anyone thinking of going to doctors or getting any tests? My hubby took finistride last year for hair loss and he's concerned that might have impacted him even though not used it since we started trying. I've been stressed with work which in last month had improved dramatically and I think that was effecting me. So thinking maybe we should get checked out to put minds at ease with hope this next few months will be lucky

Can I join the club? TTC#1 since Feb so just starting cycle 10 now. I'm 34 and DP is 40. Fortunately we haven't suffered any miscarriages, just nothing at all yet. Feel like I've tried everything in terms of temping, opks, fertility monitor, charting on Fertility Friend etc. Have gone through some pretty obsessive phases but feel like I'm past that (mostly - obviously have my moments!) and sort of oscillating between despair, resignation and hope. Terrified of having to go for tests tbh. I have a needle phobia, which I had CBT for last year in preparation for ttc (and it did really help) but anything to do with needles and hospitals etc is still a real challenge for me and I was hoping to face that challenge for a positive reason rather than a negative one. Plus on top of that my cousin and her partner had fertility problems and I won't go into details but it was a terribly difficult time for them and having seen them go through it makes me extra worried. And kinda like I should just give up and get a dog or something!

Anyway, sorry, I know I'm mostly just being silly and it is probably irrational to worry after only 9 cycles but the combo of disappointment, period pains and crazy hormones is always a recipe for losing the plot slightly for me.

I'm trying to focus on staying as healthy as possible, plenty of exercise and at least a walk every day to hopefully keep stress at bay. Fortunately I'm within a healthy weight range but I have put on a few pounds this year so am trying to lose them before Christmas - having a goal is important for me.

Good luck to everyone else in this crazy ttc world. I never thought it would be like this for me - I thought I could at least not lose the plot until a year had passed, but how wrong I was!

Welcome TryingToStayRational. We are in almost the same boat! I am also 34 and keep trying to think that 12 months is the point that you start to worry, but it's hard when every month goes by and we don't get pregnant, just closer to "infertile." We had an early miscarriage several months ago but no pregnancy since...ditched the OPKs this month and trying for a relaxed approach, but worried it will just end in more heartbreak. I find it hard to keep the stress and worry at bay!

Good luck with your blood tests. I am a midwife so I am used to the hospital and drawing blood, but I know how hard it can be for lots of people.

Awww thank you User, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your job doesn't make all of this too much harder for you. It's such an important job and I bet you have helped so many people with their babies. I hope you soon get your rainbow baby too

Margo we should remember this but it's so hard to!!! I'm feeling positive :) and couple of twinges down there but don't want to get my hopes up!! And oh no :( don't give up yet! I totally understand how hard it is being around pregnant people! My sister in laws that's right BOTH of them fell at the same time as me and both had successful pregnancies! Ooooohhh I love josh widdacombe! Will deffo cheer you up :)
Cola one day late is a good thing stay positive! Any signs today? I've tried to give myself a test before docs check ups ... but maybe it'll our your mind at rest?? Big decision to make ....
Welcome to the club trying and user lovely to have a bunch of us going through the same thing and supporting each other :) xxx

Also ladies... I got positive OPK on Sunday and Monday DTD on Sunday and yesterday (Tuesday) when would I have actually ovulated and did we DTD enough?? Xxx

Did a test tonight, still bfn and still no AF. Meh. Don't know what my body is playing at this month!!

Well ladies that is me out for this month, AF arrived this morning bless her, we did everything we could this month so now onto the next... Great timing to have seen on Facebook this morning that my ex (of 14 years ago!) has recently had a baby. A lot of my friends are friends with him and his profile pic popped up of him cuddling a gorgeous little boy... shed a few tears. Also yesterday my friend had her 12 week scan and is having identical twins, she is shell shocked bless her... anyway, off to see Josh Widdicombe tonight so that will cheer me up!

Faith glad you are still feeling positive. I would say that with your DTD timings you are definitely in with a chance this month! What you said about your sister in laws pregnancies sounds tough, my sister in law is due in a couple of weeks so wouldn't have been at the same time but a month before.

Cola thanks for the kind words about my MC - it was only at 6 weeks but still effected me esp as haven't had a BFP since then! Enjoy Ireland! I thought about going to the docs this month, but I think I will wait until we have tried 6 months of charting and opks, that will be Feb time. Then I know we have given it our best shot (ha ha). I have heard that stress does effect things, glad it's improved for you at work. Has AF arrived this morning? You are still in with a chance...

Welcome Rational totally with you on the needle phobia - specifically blood tests - that is one reason why I have put off a visit to the doctor. I know it sounds silly but I faint before they even get the needles out, last time they had to grab me before I got to the bed as I was about to keel over! Also hospitals only remind me of sad things. Totally with you on the dog front, we have a cat who is like our baby but have always wanted a dog and they are easier to get than babies!

Hi User nice to see you on here again! I hope the relaxed approach works for you. What an amazing job to have, I hope it doesn't make things harder for you.

Have a good Thursday ladies xx

Hey Margo sorry that AF decided to visit but kudos for staying positive!
Can I join too please?
I'm 31 and we've been trying for DC1 for 16months. No confirmed mc's but one month sure felt like it (my heart goes out to everyone suffering). AF due tomorrow.
It's so nice to realise I'm not alone in crying at other peoples joy, my Dsis had her 3rd 6months ago (she wasn't even ttc) and whenever I have a cuddle I have to go and have a cry. I feel like such a jealous dud but sometimes I can't help but think it's like God pointed at the wrong sister and said CONCEIVE!
Went to the Dr this week to see if anything could be wrong and ended up a blubbering mess. She put me on AD (which I am beginning to really appreciate), gave me some info on managing the stress and booked another appointment in a couple of weeks to start on the physical side of things. I didn't realise how much everything was getting to me, talking it out with someone not involved really helped.

Hi ladies thought I'd check in!!!
Margo :) arghhh stupid AF! Well on to the next cycle sending you lots of luck and hugs!! On CD21 now and feeling positive my boobs DONT hurt which is a great sign for me as normally they start hurting straight after OV meaning AF is on her way!!!
Cola any update? AF here yet? Sending lots of luck to you!!
Welcome ice oh my!! You know the feeling too! Sounds like you e had an awful time!!
All our other ladies?
Any updates? Sending lots of positivity for you all and lots of baby dust xxxxxx

So I'm now 4 days late, bfn on test yesterday and no symptoms. I was finishing a course of antibiotics first week of this cycle and I stopped taking pregnacare conception just cos I ran out and was too disorganised to have more, maybe those have some impact but it's all a bit weird. It's making me hopeful but at same time im kind of expecting AF and wish it would just come to be over with. I only sporadically used OPKs this month and never caught the lh surge so no idea on dpo but based on normal I'd be 16dpo so early test should tell me if preg. So sick but used to looking at one line tests, I think I'll actually go into shock the day I eventually see two 😂

I've got a stinking cold which I've been trying to convince myself could be pregnancy related as consolation for feeling so bunged up and miserable!

I've had a lot of babies around this week. Visited a friend with a new born I felt oddly unmaternal about, but then newborns are so (forgive me) creepy with their wrinkly skin and scrunched up features 😆 then visited my friend with an 11 week old who is just adorable and smiley, and I could practically hear my ovaries singing! Seeing another friend today 38 weeks preg and a relative tomorrow with a 1 week old so it's baby tastic. I'm ok with the baby onslaught but the hardest is hearing others are pregnant - just found out my cousin is 4 months gone and I'm almost dreading hearing an announcement from my SIL who had her first baby a year after me. Just at Christmas I know we will be getting the well intentioned "when are you giving your daughter a sibling" jibes. I just do this teeth gritted loony grin and say "ah you never know" but it Pisses Me Off!!!!

Sorry that turned into quite the rant 😂😳

Faith fingers crossed for you on the different symptoms, hope this is your month! Have you been following any specific kind of "plan" like smep or such? Xxx

cola sorry about the bfn, rant away, I get where your coming from entirely.
The waiting is agony, your imagination runs wild and you can't stop it, but don't give up hope. I hope you feel better soon . AF a day late for me but that's not totally unusual and I've just got over a the stinking cold.
As to your singing ovaries ( love the way you put that btw), I definitely feel like that with my DN for as much as it makes my heart hurt too. Do you have any friends/relatives that aren't baby booming? And Christmas, don't even get me started, when I asked my DF what he'd like for Xmas he said a Grandson! my Dsis only has girls, like the pressure wasn't bad enough before!! Just a sample of the type of insensitive comment that friends/family seem to love coming out with.
WARNING rant alert On the subject of sensitivity, AIBU to wish my Dsis would ask me before she just hands me her baby? Am I over sensitive or is she just oblivious? I'm not saying I don't want to hold her, I do, but she knows I'm having trouble ttc, she had difficulty conceiving her second, is it too much to ask for an "are you alright to hold her?" and a few moments to compose myself before I get an armful of baby. It's never just a quick cuddle either.
Story time: We were at a funeral last week (why she decided to take the baby in the first place, Dsis barely even knew the woman) and she handed me the LO as we were waiting outside and then promptly walked off when I went to give her back as we were let in, she didn't take her back until we got to the car after the service. I had to sit there through the entire thing with baby in my arms and my Dsis 2 rows away. I was feeling pretty emotionally vulnerable as it was and spent almost the entire thing (it was a very beautiful service) in tears but with hands full of baby I couldn't get to my spare tissues, I was crying as much about my own issues as I was about my dear friend. And my poor DN, you could see it in the look on her tiny face, the confusion at nice auntie ice with her funny blotchy face and streaming tears.
Sorry didn't mean for that to run so long but is it me?

Gosh iceauntie, you're not being unreasonable. Some people just really lack tact or are insensitive in some situations and given she had challenges TTC she really ought to be more clued in. I'm sure she doesn't do it intentionally but she could do with having a bit more cop on about it. And bringing baby to a funeral but handing them over for the entirety of it is unreasonable. If she's going to bring her baby which is odd anyway, she can't just fob them off on someone else!!

I'm 5 days late today and had a tiny bit of brown spotting but feeling real AF pains now coming on so I think I'm gonna get to the end of this cycle finally! Seems it was the antibiotics, they were super strong and wrecked my stomach and that causes havoc with the hormones causing ov to be delayed or missed completely and a longer period. So at least I have an explanation!

How is everyone doing? X

Hie ladies
Can l join? I'm 35,cd1of cycle 17.tbh l have lost the plot with this ttc game. It keeps taking me back to the start, never finishing! !l am going to give it my all one last time and see . the age gap with dd keeps growing.

Fingers crossed for everyone yet to test and sending to all whom the witch visited. Best of luck all round

Morning ladies, I hope you've all had good weekends? I tend to post on here in the morning once DH has gone to work and I have a bit of time to myself. We went to see my brother in law and his girlfriend this weekend, they are at the stage in their relationship where she is waiting for him to propose. It was refreshing to hear relationship anxieties of a different nature and not a mention of babies all weekend! I am currently on cd5 so hoping AF will leave me today...

Faith any news? Hopefully no sign of AF yet? When are you going to test? Passing positive vibes to you...

Welcome Ice - life can be so cruel, it must be difficult having a sister with 3 kids... Glad you are feeling better after the trip to the doctors. Can't believe her insensitivity at the funeral either! I suppose at least it was a sad occasion where public crying is the norm but it was so thoughtless of her to give you her baby to hold for the entire service - I'd have been so pissed off!! I am sure she didn't do it on purpose but your feelings are totally justified! Maybe you should have a chat with her about it and ask for her support?

Cola sorry that AF seems to be in her way. It is so typical that when trying to conceive you find yourself surrounded by babies, and pregnant ladies seem to be lurking at every turn! People can be so tactless... I hope your cold clears up soon too.

Welcome Mimi this ttc lark is like Groundhog Day! Sorry af has visited and like you say fingers crossed for us all for this cycle!

Oh my god am I so grateful about reading all of this.
I am 23, I have had 2 miscarriages with a previous partner. Me and my current partner have been trying for nearly a year now with nothing! I have had 1 appointment with a consaultant as I got told at my miscarriages that I have major polycystic ovary syndrome, I have now been told that I have scarring from that and also have a heart shaped womb (wish I never googled it after my appointment) I've had ovulation blood tests which show that I am ovulating lovely! I just don't know whats going on with my body!
Started taking the pregnacare contraception this month to see if it helps out a little bit. A friend told me she has been trying for a year with nothing, then tried this and was pregnant within a week. I have another appointment on the 1st December, if there is no pregnancy by then, I will be put forward for key hole surgery so the consaultant can flush my tubes with dye to make sure they are all opening properly!

Its such a relief to know that I am not the only one in this boat. A negative pregnancy test is such a disappointment for me. I feel like I am just letting everyone down!

Thanks margo.what is the plan this cycle? Anything up the sleeve?

Best of luck user .l try not to poas and wait for af . its a lot easier than a white test stick. It never gets easier.

Horrible period pains here. Hope it leaves already.

Mimi if I gave my nieces a gift like that they'd kick me, hope you feel better soon .

for everyone else AF is beating up.

User welcome and good luck!

Mixed weekend for me, 2 days late as of Saturday pm, bfn yesterday morning then AF turned up in the afternoon.

On the positive side the ADs seem to be working, A little too well at times to be truthful, I spent at least half an hour yesterday like a 6 year old on a sugar high (no involved I promise). And today at work I was suddenly super cheery even with our worst customer, the girls I work with found it hilarious but It's rather disconcerting for me though as I've never really been the perky type .
Xx

User welcome! Sorry to hear about your troubles, I hope that being able to share the highs and lows on here helps you on your journey.

Ice sorry about AF silly witch! So funny about your changed personality after taking ADs, my dad could definitely do with some of those...

Not really thought about my plan for this cycle Mimi. I am determined (as with every month) that this will be the one! 3rd month using Fertility Friend and finding temping really interesting. Might try to pay more attention to my CM this month. We've tried to DTD every other day after the end of AF before, maybe we'll try that again... not sure I have the stamina - ha ha!

Started doing Slimming World again this week, I have put on nearly 2 stones since May! Still a size 12 but want to keep it that way and all y clothes are tight, always said I wanted to be slim when conceive as will be easier to lose any baby weight as there shouldn't be so much of it... hmm!

I think we should all make a pact to not test early this cycle... just wait for AF as Mimi has suggested - easier said than done! Let's all post our predicted AF day and I will pop them on a post so everyone can see. I have put peoples stats below, sorry if I've missed anyone!

Margo November 15 (Age 38, Cycle 11)
User...717 (Age 23, Cycle 11)
Mimi (Cycle 11)
Ice (Age 31, Cycle 11)
Rational (Age 34, Cycle 10)
Cola (Cycle 10)
Wibble (Cycle 12?)
Mauw (Age 32, Cycle 5)
Serious (Cycle 10)
Holzy (Cycle 25)
Lelly (Cycle 8)
User...669 (Age 34, Cycle 11)
Faith (Cycle 11)
Kookie (Cycle 10)