It'll never happen, and even if it does, something will go wrong. Hut of Doom part deux

[duchesse]

There wasn't any more room for moaning with all those grinny smilies's eyes following me around the room.

Suspected (my own self-diagnosis) perimenopause, anyone?

I totally can't handle people in RL... I seem to hate anyone that is pregnant or just had a baby.. My brother and wife popped one out the other day (I say popped one out...because everything went perfectly, which is how it should be really - but It's not fair) and I can't even speak to them as my hurt is so raw... The couple opposite us on our road had a baby 1 week after Bertie and I have to close the curtains if I see them. Another friend had her baby this time next week, I have not sent a card or pressie etc... I just can't! (I'm normally the first one in there to see a new baby)... So I don't think I'm that balanced!

rahrah, its totally understandable. youre doing fantastically well sweetheart

Rahrah, I agree with Lissie: How you feel is completely understandable. That doesn't make it any easier, but you could (in theory!) stop feeling guilty about how you feel, which is at least one less horrible feeling you have to burden.

Your story really is heartbreaking. What a shame that other people's happiness is so in your face.

Oh yes, Honeyapple. My fake grin is spasming badly.

(Sorry, me again...)

Lissie: what a lot of people are wishing you well on your scan thread! How lovely x

give yourself a break rahrah, you are perfectly entitled to feel that way, and everyone will understand and if they dont they are TWATS!

honeyapple - i know what you mean about people coming onto MN and saying "im new and i have got my BFP, and we weren't even trying!"
i really have to restrain myself from typing a nasty message back sometimes.
ALSO.........i hate it when people say "help! i think it might be positive, and i am not sure i want another baby!!!!!" AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
not sure why i read those type of threads really, just to torture myself i think. they annoy the hell out of me!
phew! that feels better!

Ah greedy, I'm glad you are with me on that one!

Greedy, how are you doing today?

a bit crap actually perve. still bleeding, but no clots so far today. sorry, i know its a bit gross. had my second bld test to check my hcg levels. they were only 418 on monday, and need to have gone up by 1.5 times today for pg to be considered viable. i will find out at 4pm, so i am just farting about until then really.
hows it all going with you this cycle? did you stop temping?

Oh no, what a horrible couple of hours you've got waiting! And do you have to ring your surgery? Any chance of getting though? It takes days to get through to ours! Best to just walk round! Good luck hon.

I'm pleased you're not having any more clots. Is your bleeding like af, or lighter/heavier? What about your temps, are they still up?

I have boycotted my thermometer this month. I insem'd once when I had cm, then had ov pains the next day, so I think I've done everything right. (Not that that makes any damned difference!) But am not paying much attention to myself. Makes a change from the usual obsessions. Yeah, yeah, this'll be the month... yeah right.

Babydust to you all

.¸.·´¨) .´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ( ¸.´¯</strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ( ¸.´¯</strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ( ¸.´¯</strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ .·´ ¸.·´¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ( ¸.´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ( ¸.´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) .´¯</strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ( ¸.´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ( ¸.´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ( ¸.´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ .·´ ¸.·´¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ( ¸.´¯</strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ( ¸.´¯</strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) wishing BFPs to you all xxx

Can I join in? AF arrived this morning, AGAIN . I'm beginning to feel that the process is not so much feeling sad that AF is here, but instead, needing to accept that this is unlikely to happen and that ds will be an only child. Am already off the ttc February thread AND IT ISN'T EVEN FEBRUARY YET!!!! Arrrgghhhhh!

Sorry not to respond to other posters, but am at work and just needed to pop in and share my gloom! Will catch up properly later (weak )

I'm not saying anything about the post before beansprout.

Hi Beansprout, pull up a pew. I too am having my hope chipped away every month, starting to accept that it's never going to happen. It's shitty.

I am at work, but as you can see I am being a wastrel. Anyone up for a drink? Greedy, large g&t to make the time pass till 4? I'm going to push the boat out and have a smoke. AAAaaaah, that's lovely.... Might as well, eggs seem to be all shrivelled and useless anyway

beansprout, dont apologise!, that is what this thread is all about, BEING GLOOMY!
WHO ALLOWED THE MNer WITH THE BABYDUST IN THE HUT?????????

did she bring it in pretending it was cocaine and then start sprinkling it around willy nilly when no one was looking???

I HATE BABYDUST!

take a drag, honeyapple, it'll help

LOL - you go funny greedy,,, Give me a line!

No, ATCHOO! I gave it a go: It's not coke. Yuck, it's all pink and glittery, get it out of here!

Actually Impatience- I went out on Saturday with old school girl mates- and smoked some REAL ciggies! And drank REAL BOOZE! The booze was lovely, the ciggies were a bit gross actually- but feck it- felt normal for a change.

There, that's better.

Man that pink shit stinks.

Good for you. I personally think cigs are a waste of lung damage: Might as well put some lovely forbidden greenery in there. Fancy some? It being a virtual spliff this one will last all afternoon.

thanks beansprout! she had better not come back in here, not unless she has some REAL coke this time!

do i sound hard????? never touched coke in my life!!!

You lot have cheered me up.. )