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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

It'll never happen, and even if it does, something will go wrong. Hut of Doom part deux

800 replies

duchesse · 19/01/2007 19:43

There wasn't any more room for moaning with all those grinny smilies's eyes following me around the room.

Suspected (my own self-diagnosis) perimenopause, anyone?

OP posts:

sideways · 19/02/2007 09:28

lulu - sorry for disappearing off to bed last night. Obsession is definitely part of the ttc game, isn't it. If only we could all just be calm and wait patiently every month instead of obsessing like mad things and counting days and spotting symptoms that aren't really there.

Wheelybug - welcome, sorry about your mc. I was also obsessed with age gaps (dd is now 3.7) but have given up - who am I kidding I am still worried about it but there's bugger all I can do. I g ues you'll just have to jump on dh as soon as he walks through the door

feedmenow · 19/02/2007 10:36

Morning all! Anyone in this morning?
Well, I feel like a bit of an evil b*h today. Having posted on Saturday about my relative who is pg and due in Sept, I have been told this morning that she is bleeding heavily and it looks like she is miscarrying. I know its ridiculous, but I feel rather guilty about it, as if I have some how "wished" it upon her.And even worse, I think I would feel slightly relieved if she does/is cos I won't have to see a new baby so close to when I should have had mine. I feel awful saying that....is this a normal thought?

sideways · 19/02/2007 10:55

I don't think there is such a thing as a "normal" thought when you are ftc and everyone around you is getting pregnant and popping them out at will.

She may not be mc and even if she is, it's definitely not your fault.

Original poster

duchesse · 19/02/2007 10:57

feedme- Quite normal, I'd imagine. Mine just translates into feeling glad that other people (eg two of my sisters) end up with difficult babies after being so glib about having them in the first place.

OP posts:

Cryptonomicon · 19/02/2007 11:08

I am so sorry everybody seems to be having such a crap time at the moment. FMN, don't feel guilty about your relative - your feelings are completley normal. I must admit to slightly wishing (ok, perhaps more than slightly) that my pregnant colleague would have an early miscarriage so I didn't have to deal with her being pregnant. As if we don't have enough to deal with without beating ourselves about our feelings as well when they can?t be helped.

I have entered the TSTW* phase which is crappy. I couldn?t help myself and bought two pregnancy tests in the supermarket on Saturday and of course the stupid checkout lady felt the need to ask me whether there was a chance I could be (well dur, that is usually why people buy tests) and whether she should keep her fingers crossed for me ( I don?t care, just shut up about it before you make me sob in the supermarket). Honestly, people just have absolutely no sensitivity.

Of course, I gave in to the evil temptation and tested on Sunday and of course it was negative. I don?t exactly know when I am due because I have given up OPKs in the hope of reducing my obsessing and I am not very regular so trying not to get hopes up about testing too early. AARRRGGGG.

*Too Scared To Wipe, copyright Duchess 2007

Cryptonomicon · 19/02/2007 11:15

I have just realised that my post is probably really insenstive to those who have had miscarriages so I am really sorry. Its such a hard thing, I would of course never really wish that someone would go through that but this FTC lark can turn me into such a self centered evil witch.

Catbabymummy · 19/02/2007 11:41

Crypto - Don't worry about being insensitive, this is the point of the hut, to post things that you wouldn't dare post elsewhere.
FMN - please don't feel guilty, it's just one of those things that happen and there's none of us that can do a thing about it

BTW if you go to a supermarket that has the self scan, use that to pay for your pg test, that way only you know you've bought them...

Original poster

duchesse · 19/02/2007 11:57

Better still, buy them from Ebay in BULK!!! Loads for a tenner. And you can get the super-sensitive medical ones like that. And find out that you're pregnant before your period starts, and then have it start anyway. Bitter, me?

OP posts:

lissielou · 19/02/2007 13:18

i use the self scan all the time, im so embaressed to have 5 pg tests in my basket. and there always seems to be a heavily pg woman in front of me with her adorable children in a twin buggy looking so fecking serene i want to slap that smug satisfied smile off their face.

just had my catheter and stitches out. thats it. its really happened. im not pg any more. my baby is dead.

feedmenow · 19/02/2007 13:24

Oh Lissie....
My baby is dead too......

Catbabymummy · 19/02/2007 13:33

We are the dead baby mummies
I haven't got my photo anymore, but I can still see it when I close my eyes.

lissielou · 19/02/2007 13:39

its awful isnt it.

and the hardest thing to explain is that you arent just mourning your baby, youre mourning the life that should've been. how dare people tell me how lucky i am to have 1 son when 4 more have died inside me.

i dont feel lucky at all. and every period mocks me, and just reminds me how useless my body is

Original poster

duchesse · 19/02/2007 13:53

I don't even have have a picture of mine at the 12 week scan, just one from the 8 week scan. It was dead by then, but looked perfect. I keep thinking I should have asked for a print. Do you think they still have them? I planted a rose for every one of my children a couple of weeks ago- for the live ones and the dead one. Vlad just didn't live for long enough to meet us all. He is still my child though. I think all our dead children are.

OP posts:

amrak · 19/02/2007 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

duchesse · 19/02/2007 13:56

amrak, anorak, wahatever, have you considered going somewhere where you're wanted?

OP posts:

lissielou · 19/02/2007 13:59

how dare you amrak! i have lost 4 babies due to medical negligence. i sincerely hope that you never have the trauma of having a child and a part of your reproductive system ripped out of you or you go to the loo at 6w pg and see blood everywhere. because this sort of pain cannot be healed by meditation.

Original poster

duchesse · 19/02/2007 14:00

let's not feed the troll, guys. feeding them just keeps them coming back.

OP posts:

lissielou · 19/02/2007 14:01

true, just dont need that kind of poison at the mo.

lulu1414 · 19/02/2007 14:02

I am shocked and saddened by Amrak's post. What a way to add to people's burden when they are already going through so much. It is totally normal to be envious, saddened and angry when one's expectations are let down. Many of us here have lost babies and are extremely distressed by this. I remember a lovely friend of mine who lost her sister tragically telling me that she used to feel happy when she saw an ambulance screaming by. She felt guilty about this, but it makes sense- she wanted to feel less alone in her pain. Trauma binds people together, after all.

My thoughts are with everyone here.

Duchesse- I imagine they might have a picture for you. You should ask. I have a picture from my 12 weeks scan (my baby was 12 weeks and 4 days and looked so sweet). I have found the picture upsetting, but good to have. My husband was very grateful for it too.

Original poster

duchesse · 19/02/2007 14:03

Too true, sweetie. Hang in there.

OP posts:

lissielou · 19/02/2007 14:09

i would truly love to live a blameless life where i weave flowers out of clouds and to be able to gaze upon a newborn and feel nothing but bliss.

but im human. i am jealous because i should be on my way to a football team by now. i dont expect to be judged by anyone expect my family.

btw i confided in my pg sil and she understood that i dont want anything bad to happen. im just sad.

Debbsyandson · 19/02/2007 14:17

Amrak you are disgusting have you any idea WHAT these ladies are going through? obviously not because if you had you would know their feelings only too well.... yes in an ideal world we all love babies all pg woman but i can remember when i was stuggling to concieve the very mere mention of a baby put me in flodds of tears,let alone my 2 bf were pg at the time.I suggest you bugger off with your useless insensitive comments
Ladies have a hug
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

lissielou · 19/02/2007 14:19

thanks debby (did actually cry at that)

just a troll anyway, ive done a search and theres only that message from them

jhyesmum · 19/02/2007 14:20

I didn't think people could be so cruel. I find myself very lucky indeed that I haven't lost a baby. I just can't seem to get pregnant. The worst is losing a life.

Amrak should wind her f*cking neck in.

Original poster

duchesse · 19/02/2007 14:21

Thanks for the support Debbsy. The Hut feels too sullied to stay in though, so we're moving in here. See you over there ladies. And hopefully the troll will be tricked and stay in here. Trolls are stupid like that.

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