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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
lildottie · 23/06/2015 21:46

no talk of bad food. I've been good all day and need to stay good for the ivf!

CountryGal4 · 23/06/2015 21:50

Shush just no one can know the truth!

ChatEnOeuf · 23/06/2015 22:00

Pud Grin

Just, you can borrow mine. Think he'd be glad, we can't start yet, he hates condoms and I'm still moaning about stitches and post birth messiness. Which means I can't possibly be icing yet...

SockQueen · 23/06/2015 22:00

Thanks for all the good wishes viroids, I passed! Hopefully no more exams EVER! It was totally nervewracking, and I'm enormously relieved it's all over. Now I can get back to obsessing about my stupid ovaries...

ChatEnOeuf · 23/06/2015 22:01

Congrats Sock! Well done Wine

justtheonethen · 23/06/2015 22:04

Grin country he looks out of his depth!

honeysucklejasmine · 23/06/2015 22:08

Well done Sock! You beauty!

justtheonethen · 23/06/2015 22:08

Congrats sock you Star

Sorry lil, keep at it, you have a good reason to. although I'm hoping you best science and you're upduffed by next ivf!

Thanks chat, send him over.how are you lovely? Hope you're ok.

CountryGal4 · 23/06/2015 22:16

Nice one sock well done!

Dh has just seen almost positive opk and gone oooh god. even he thinks it's gone mad!

How are you chat

lildottie · 23/06/2015 22:19

chat can I have him when just had finished please. needs to be in about 2weeks time ready for icing though, last one before the ivf.

just I can't believe how close it is in terms of cycles. I will go on bcp with next AF. it's very different this time around. last time around I was so positive and convinced I'd be having baby this year. I thought about it not working but I never imagined I'd mc. now I just can't see it working out for us. I've sort of accepted my childless life. and I know even if I get another bfp I won't be as happy and excited as I was before. this ttc malarkey is a total head fuck.

sorry I got a bit deep there! I guess its on my mind a lot more now.

MyBlackCat · 23/06/2015 22:23

Just popping in to say I Have all of the ewcm but am not in the same country as DH Angry

Home tomorrow so hopefully won't be too late Wink

5hell · 23/06/2015 22:33

will you start the fans please?
Sorry I'm a bit obsessed today Grin

Came home from work / yoga to slightly moody/sad dh so he's gone to bed already and I'm watching tattoo fixers...joys of married life eh?!

justtheonethen · 23/06/2015 22:34

lil I think how your feeling is totally normal. It's your brains way of protecting you. You will get your baby. If it's this year or next who cares. It will happen lovely.

black I hear you! Same situation here!

lildottie · 23/06/2015 22:45

tbh just if the next ivf doesn't work then that's it. I can't keep living in this cloud waiting to maybe have a baby. I can't believe I've coped this long, hats off to people like tink, I just can't keep going.

5hell I was supposed to go yoga tonight.

justtheonethen · 23/06/2015 22:55

Well I for one think it's amazing anyone can keep going! Got everything crossed for you

5hell · 23/06/2015 23:04

lil i love my yoga class and it takes a LOT to make me miss it, i get so grouchy and stiff without it.

You're an inspiration and provide so much great advice and wisdom on here. ..your bfp will come or there is no justice x

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 24/06/2015 00:33

I think I am having some very slight back pain, of the period pain type. Had about a 2 min twinge earlier on when I was at work, and its there at the moment, but very very faint.........I am watching One Born Every Minute though.......

ChatEnOeuf · 24/06/2015 08:47

With pleasure, Lil Wink

I'm actually okay at the moment, TinyChat's due date was yesterday but it wasn't too bad. I've been accepted onto a stillbirth research project, which I hope will help channel my emotional energy and researcher frustrations as well as help reduce the chance of the same thing happening to others. Aiming for a positive to come out of a tragedy...

Otherwise, NFMWomble: still waiting, no action yet. Very annoying.

lildottie · 24/06/2015 11:54

chat I'm glad you've found something positive to focus on.

also no nfmv. AF still here. I hate that I'm horny with AF. she's such a cow!

lildottie · 24/06/2015 12:25

saw this and thought of you lot.

5hell · 24/06/2015 13:58

90% are deformed?!?! well you learn something new shocking everyday

seriously 90%?! it's a wonder any of us got conceived....

CountryGal4 · 24/06/2015 14:16

God there's no hope haha

ChatEnOeuf · 24/06/2015 14:56

Lil that did make me laugh Grin

lildottie · 24/06/2015 16:06

I'm not sure 90% is quite accurate. I think 15% normal forms is considered fertile, so if there are 85% or less deformed that's fine, over 85% is considered a fertility issue.

justtheonethen · 24/06/2015 16:32

That was really terrifying interesting lil!

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