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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
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31
Tinkfromlovejoy · 23/06/2015 17:01

Oooh, sorry, just noticed you're dp less. If he's back tomorrow you might time it just right, Gx Smile

justtheonethen · 23/06/2015 17:02

Dp away until Friday night tink Sad
Have had three days of bloody positive opks!

justtheonethen · 23/06/2015 17:03

Anyone want to lend a miroid?

justtheonethen · 23/06/2015 17:04

Now got another wave of ewcm, wtf is going on with our fanjo country!

lildottie · 23/06/2015 17:13

I'd lend you mine country but his sperm don't seem to be too useful sooooo.....maybe ask a Grad!

as for if you've ov'd a minor temo risetoday may mean you ov'd late yesterday. I have had that in the past.

Tinkfromlovejoy · 23/06/2015 17:15

You might be alright til Friday if you've still got the ewcm. If not I'll send Mr. Tink round. He's very giving like that Wink, just talk dirty to him and he'll get the job done. Actually, can you keep him til Sunday? I'm in the first twot for a few months and he's decided I'm not going to a boozy birthday party on Saturday - although he is apparently! Hmm

justtheonethen · 23/06/2015 17:18

You're on tink I've got loads of gardening to keep him busy when he's not offering up his seed. "Quick I'm ovulating" is dirty talk right?
That's not fair, if you're not allowed then neither is he!

justtheonethen · 23/06/2015 17:18

Thanks lil fx it's that

jellypi3 · 23/06/2015 17:54

You wouldn't want mr jelly at the moment, his balls would literally explode at the sight of a vagina. We've not dtd since my bfp 4 and half weeks ago

lildottie · 23/06/2015 18:00

exploding balls could work, catch it and get the Turkey baster out!

CountryGal4 · 23/06/2015 18:08

Just right there with you in confusion. Darkish opk today?!? Last couple of days have been blank:

Step back wild fanjo. She's gone wiiild

CountryGal4 · 23/06/2015 18:23

See. Bloody bonkers

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
justtheonethen · 23/06/2015 18:24

Our fanjos have gone rogue country

CountryGal4 · 23/06/2015 18:25

We need an expert fanjo wrangler

5hell · 23/06/2015 18:44

country i read that as Danish opk!...hungry much, mmm pastry! :)

just my dh would also be rented out at will, I dont even need to ask to know he'd happily share his seed the filthy flirty sex pest sigh
When dh is away I like to console myself by eating all the foods he hates (e.g. smoked mackarel)and watching all the tv he hates too (obem etc)...this helps me miss him less ;)

now someone get me a ticket to this please: TCM

justtheonethen · 23/06/2015 19:04

I'm doing the same. Macaroni cheese and the kardashians!

Danish opk Grin

Fanjo wrangler, I propose Thor. If anyone can wrangle an unruly fanjo it would be him.

That looks amazing! Js'ers team?!

CountryGal4 · 23/06/2015 21:13

Dh is out and I've eaten my weight in all the bad food

justtheonethen · 23/06/2015 21:14

Where is everyone tonight? All shagging I bet

justtheonethen · 23/06/2015 21:15

What you eaten country? Make me feel less of a glutton. I've eaten everything

justtheonethen · 23/06/2015 21:16

On the look out for unruly fanjos

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
CountryGal4 · 23/06/2015 21:18

Yep just they're all shagging and getting all the jizz
Cheese and crackers popcorn and two doughnuts Blush

CountryGal4 · 23/06/2015 21:18

Pahahaha!!!

CountryGal4 · 23/06/2015 21:20

Replace the raptors with wild fanjos

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
Hobbit19 · 23/06/2015 21:22

Ha ha ha in head Just and Country are one person, so now I have a picture of a crazy lady sat at home, eating all the food, watching Kardashian whilst having an entire conversation with herself on the Internet and intermittently shouting at her unruly fanjo. Grin

justtheonethen · 23/06/2015 21:46

Is it worrying that I think we are too and sometimes wonder if country is my "other" personality!?

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