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When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
CountryGal4 · 21/06/2015 12:40

just you've got yourself covered so stop worrying. You still temping? If so that will doubly confirm it.

Id go Croatia before it starts getting too touristy. Supposed to be breathtaking. Or bruge? Depends what you're after I suppose

Hobbit19 · 21/06/2015 12:40

Croatia Just! Lush and cheap!

justtheonethen · 21/06/2015 13:04

Ooh Croatia, perfect. Thanks viroids. You're like a shagging/gardening/cooking/travel agent advice forum all in one!

Roast pork in, roasted veg prepped, Yorkie batter mixed, apple sauce cooking. A drink in hand and sperm hopefully swimming in the right direction. And relax!

5hell · 21/06/2015 14:15

thurs how was ur run...hope u had fun.

Hope ur feeling well today honey wine
And gx for u too feathered hope u get to have a lovely relaxing hol.

just chillaxing after cooking yummy shoulder of lamb, all the trimmings followed by rhubarb crumble Grin

think I'm maybe 16 dpo but no idea how long to expect this cycle to be as first 'normal' one since mc...what have others found?

SockQueen · 21/06/2015 15:06

Aww man I'm a numpty. Got a little note through the door from new neighbours inviting us to a BBQ. I totally misread the date and thought it was today, so sent a text saying we'd love to come along. Got a slightly puzzled-sounding message back saying "That's great, see you in a few weeks" so I checked the note and it's actually in 4 weeks time! They're going to think I'm pretty stupid, aren't they? Ah well, we'll be moving house in August so unlikely to be a long-lasting problem.

lildottie · 21/06/2015 15:08

technically lh surge is up to 36hrs pre ov not 12-24.

just we did cape Verde for £1360 all inclusive. very under developed, gorgeous weather and not much to do so males u relax.

5hell my temps were erratic for 2wks after bleed stopped then my "normal" cycle seemed to kick in.

CountryGal4 · 21/06/2015 15:09

Err 16dpo. Are you Definately sure on icing date?

Am about to spend the avvo with a flock of terror children. It will be enough to stop Ttc hahahaha

FeatheredTail · 21/06/2015 16:02

Love love love croatia - favourite place is Vis island!

5hell · 21/06/2015 16:04

Ha sock maybe they just thought u rsvp'd v promptly!! ;)

country not 100% on ov...going off salivary ferning and glow's approx fertile period...feel like af is coming anyway tbh. [Confused]

ThursdayLast · 21/06/2015 16:26

Hello busy viroids.
I survived my run but today's NFMV is that it's totally knackered and being locked away from any marauding penises (peni???)

I'm keeping an eye on your cycle just as I think we might be in sync a bit.

justtheonethen · 21/06/2015 17:25

Ooh another cycle buddy for us country!

ThursdayLast · 21/06/2015 19:15

Aha! I'll keep an eye on countrys posts too!

CountryGal4 · 21/06/2015 20:05

thurs welcome to the gang. We do crazy circa 5/6 dpo and melodramatic sad somewhere near 9 dpo Grin

CarrotPuff · 21/06/2015 20:09

lil sorry about the witch, it sucks...

5hell my post wtf cycle was 2 days longer than usual.

feathered I hope the bleeding settles soon Flowers good idea about holidays, I hope you have lovely time Flowers

So after declining DP's pouncing yesterday afternoon, we did have a drunk shag when we got back, but it wasn't very successful Grin today though we had 2 Shock so lots of jizz in my vagina today. Had an amazing O the second time around too, but still had some jizz overspill Hmm

MrsTattoo · 21/06/2015 20:19

Good evening ladies!

Am incredibly sad that you are all tucking into roasts today and I'm too lazy to cook...We have just ordered a greasy takeaway to be delivered in the next 20mins instead Grin

Snigger at carrot and her jizz overspill, did make me giggle.Blush

Feeling a bit happier today, AF has finished today so fresh cycle to start peeing on ovulation sticks for the first time and try to get my head around them, also it's like someones flipped a switch - I don't want to burst into tears at every little thing, which is nice.

Am going to seduce DH tonight just for fun, why not eh?! Even shaved, with a new razor and everything. I spoil himBlush

ChatEnOeuf · 21/06/2015 20:37

Love Croatia. Beautiful, friendly place. We stayed in the Istria region, and travelled inland to Plitvice.

Bugger about the witch Lil. We are thinking of Cape Verde this autumn.

5hell my wtf cycles were six, and five weeks. Essentially normal length once bleeding had stopped.

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 21/06/2015 20:54

Hi all.

Quick check in. Cd32/?? here. Hoping for a shag later - dh cleaning bbq right now. Not dtd since Monday evening ......

Ain626 · 21/06/2015 21:14

Just I'm going to Croatia in August. Grin I have been once already, this time going to different parts. Loved it last time.

Carrot sounds like a good day. Wink

Sorry about the witch Lil. Does it affect your dates for IVF in Sept? Or is this AF timed right for the changed dates? (though of course gx you'll be upduffed before then).

I am procrastinating.... I should be report writing.

lildottie · 21/06/2015 21:32

chat we stayed in the riu funana on sal. it was really nice.

ain this AF didn't matter, next ad did/does but should be OK with new dates. I expect her around 27/7 and need her to arrive between 14/7 and 7/8 so plenty of leeway now!

justtheonethen · 21/06/2015 21:39

Now that's positive! Jizz overspill made me chuckle too!

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
CountryGal4 · 21/06/2015 21:41

That's a bloody good positive. Can you sneak in an extra sesh tomorrow? If either a couple days ahead of you or haven't iced at all!

CountryGal4 · 21/06/2015 21:41

*Im

justtheonethen · 21/06/2015 21:51

Dp off at 5am so no chance tomorrow. Just tried for an extra one but it was a non starter or a non finisher should I say! I'm quietly accepting this isn't our month. Talk to me in two days time and I'll be crazy as always I expect.

That hotel looks lovely lil

justtheonethen · 21/06/2015 21:52

ain I've done 15 reports so 15 to go Sad

CountryGal4 · 21/06/2015 22:01

just you have more than covered yourself! You have just as much a chance as you have before. The suckers live for almost five days so pack it in!