These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

[Augusthomotherium]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Big love to chat

I'm not properly on Facebook, just have a username but no friends so I can spy give to charity and that
Can't imagine what it's like for you but I wish people were more sensitive Maybe consider blocking her for a while and rearranging the catch up for later in the year. No doubt she would need to bring along her lo which I guess could be difficult I'm absolutely sure she doesn't mean to rub it in but that doesn't stop it hurting xxx

Lil sorry about the witch, lovely. Has her timing been ok re starting your next cycle? I know you moved things about a bit.

Chat I think I would "unfollow" her for a while. No one needs to see that many baby pictures.

So, I am 4+5. Today is the day I miscarried last time. Have already been to the loo to check and all seems fine, but I really want it to be Monday already! Luckily we're pretty busy today visiting both sets of parents.

Chat I can't claim to understand how the pics hurt you, but I can empathise with how bloody annoying it is when they're all the same, or shit, or posted 8 million times a day.

honey think lovely rational thoughts

Wish me luck viroids- I'm running a 10 mile race in three hours

Thanks all. See the babies themselves don't bother me. I'm sad, not irrationally so, and I wish with all my heart that I had my baby, but I don't get too upset about the existence of other babies. I know she isn't doing it to be spiteful - she's a lovely person, she just has no idea how much is too much! Problem is, she lives in the arse end of nowhere and if I don't see her this summer, it will probably be next year. Must swallow the rage and remember she's a good friend.

Heck Sock, a GA for a cannula! I've done midaz, I've done gas and air, therapy CDs and Emla, but never had to go that far. Just, do try some hypnosis or something - I know the NHS isn't quite so keen, but I had to have bloods at least every four weeks, more often towards the end.

Positive thoughts Honey, try and enjoy the day.

Good luck Thursday!

honey positive thoughts to you lovely. I understand your worry though, I'm in the same boat.

Finally told OH this morning, he seemed really shocked

Happy shocked cake? Or holy shit I'm going to be a father shocked?

Happy shocked I think but I expect it will take a while to sink in for us both. He was asking DS if the last of his hair is falling out yet

See injections/cannula not a problem. It's just blood tests and the crook of my arm. Weird. I know I need to sort it out but even typing about it now is making me feel dizzy.
honey lovely positive thoughts today mrs
chat I can't stand the over sharing either. Why put up one photo if we have ten. Drives me mad.
thursday good luck!
cake bet he's thrilled but stunned!

Dp just gone to make breakfast. I suggested a shag after and he pretty much sighed. He better get his game face on or learn rather rapidly how to stuff, roll and cook a pork joint

Would yep everything is a drive away here, was nice and met another British person which is rare here.

ain poor DH.

chat yep have two friends like that, I tend to check Facebook once a day and quickly scroll past those posts.

mrs I really don't get the whole placenta eating thing, I know wild animals do it but they also have a tendency to lick their own arse and most sane people wouldn't want to do that. Since moving out here I do tend to say god damn hippies ala cartman from South Park a lot.

just sorry that it's so bad for you to have blood taken. I am a bit of a weirdo and I like to watch it go out, usually freaks the nurse out.

would :-)

Thanks Ladies. Silly, isn't it, how you think about these things, and how ridiculous they are when you really think about it.

Wine how did you reveal?

Lol honey it was disgusting really. Fathers day card with "I can't wait to meet you in February" - confused the poor pickle for a while

Dear mrjust in order for a baby to be made one must use one penis to deposit ones seed into ones dp.

He seems confused about how a baby is made so thought that would help!

honey today you are pregnant. just focus on that. the rest is out of your hands.

Wine thats cute, and I love that it confused him a bit!
As AF was due today I was hoping dh and I would be staring at a squinty line together this morning. my temps dropped Friday though so I knew it was coming.

tink hi!

just your miroid needs to get his shit together.

so today I'm going to stomp my feet and scream how unfair life is.

Stomp away lil it's bastard unfair.

country that did the trick, thanks!

Right sperm secured, conceive plus was added first so fingers crossed I ice soon. I don't really think there's any point being excited this cycle. We haven't had enough sex and I've not iced yet and he's going away tomorrow

Just honestly, I have not noticed a link between how much sex I had and getting pregnant. Last month was decidedly average. Nothing special. There were cycles we shagged more, some we shagged less. Don't write yourself off, unless you missed O day by more than five days and even then you never know

You're right Lil. I will repeat that. And you are perfectly entitled to rage as much as you want.

Nearly....

That's about as dark as I ever managed, but I know other people got them very dark, no problem.

just the cycle we concieved we dtd 4 times, once post ov and once waaaay to early for ov. So technically we only dtd twice during the "right" time.

Don't panic :)

Thanks guys. I'll stop panicking then. Mine usually go slightly darker but think it will by this afternoon

Stupid question but Just, does that mean you are close to ovulating? I have started using these this month, and I peed on one today with mine looking close like yours. It was a weaker line a few days ago. Would a stronger line like that mean you have to shag immediately incase you miss it?

Fluffy you'll get a peak on the opk 12-24hrs before ovulating, generally.

As I say, they never really worked for me, I just went by EWCM. I usually iced on the last day of EWCM. (According to temping)

I also find that intensely irritating Chat. I've had to block a family member from my Facebook feed (she's actually yet to become a family member). All she does is post about how she LOVES being pregnant and posts millions of pictures of her bump and the clothes she has bought for the baby. I really really can't bear her - and it was the same before I was pg/miscarried so it's not as though I'm being a bitter old young bag. It pissed me off wayyyyy before that!

Sky I hope your DH has showed some remorse over your hair. I remember when I dyed my hair dark a few years ago and DH couldn't bring himself to say he liked it - he said "it looks...nice" in a very unconvincing way then "it doesn't look like you!" in a little emotional voice.

Sending hugs for you Lil. Finish the bottle of wine tonight and show the witch who's boss.

I'm hoping today will be the last day of heavy mc bleeding. The past three days have been awfully heavy and painful. Co-dydramol, feroglobin and always extra long night are my new best friends. Feeling better today though still a bit physically weak. Swigs more from feroglobin bottle

Hoping it's gone by Tuesday when I go on holiday. Most of my holiday clothes are white

Decided to extend the holiday so cancelling and rebooking flights today. I am ridiculously overdrawn and although we've got to spent ££££ on the house I really don't care how much it costs to change the flights. I really need a change of scene. (Plus DH got a great payrise so hoping he will foot the bill...)

thanks honey.

Hugs feathered! Hope you can enjoy your holiday wearing your lovely white clothes! Hope you get your strength back and get back to your normal self.

Yes fluffy if you get one like that get shagging! Means you should ice in next 12-24 hours

feathered good plan about the holiday, you need it.

Talking of which, I want to go away in august. Any ideas? Ideally Europe as not got loads of cash. About £1500 all in I'm thinking

Feathered sounds like a great idea. Kick back and relax. I really hope it ends soon.