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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
justtheonethen · 21/06/2015 22:15

Sorry country oh wise one. You're right, I just feel I haven't made much effort this month, because I haven't!

CountryGal4 · 21/06/2015 22:17

I think you managed more 'effort' than we did Blush

Ain626 · 21/06/2015 22:45

just I have currently done 0 out of 50. Sad I have however now created one for each kid by copying the master copy and putting each childs name in. I'm currently using the excuse that the formatting is coming up all weird on my laptop for not doing any more. My plan is to do at least the first 5 after school tomorrow (at school) though I also have my counselling appointment tomorrow, and am preparing for an obs on Weds...

MyBlackCat · 21/06/2015 22:55

Evening viroids - I'm currently away abroad working and have not been able to catch up except for last few posts. Thanks And Wine to those that need it.

Icing is imminent but I'm not home until Wednesday so I am hoping the stress of my job this week delays it for 24 hours or so.

Just wanted to say that in two weeks I'm going on holiday - to Croatia! Can.Not.Wait! Grin heading to Porec with a day trip to Venice!

Ain626 · 21/06/2015 23:07

Ha! Croatia is clearly a popular choice!

We went to Proec with a day trip to Venice when we went before! (At risk of outing self it was on that day trip to Venice that DH proposed... On a gondola on the grand canal Grin ) We also did a day trip to Slovenia.

This time we are doing a mini cruise along the Croatian coastline, though we are actually stopping in Venice again too (and another town near Porec). Just over a month til we go though so won't be bumping in to you Cat

5hell · 22/06/2015 06:18

Either I've got a strange form of internet deja vu, or we've had a Croatia love-in before (we're hoping to go later in the year too...dubrovnic!)

Cd30 and no nfmv freaking out a bit

CountryGal4 · 22/06/2015 07:11

Temps are in the bloody toilet. Which means I probably haven't iced despite a bloody good opk. Crap sake

honeysucklejasmine · 22/06/2015 07:23

We have indeed had the Croatia talk before. Smile It is obviously a very popular location for shaggers.

ThursdayLast · 22/06/2015 07:45

5hell cd 30 and no news would have me pissing on sticks left right and centre...just sayin'

NFMV - very quick quickie before DS woke up this morning. Though most of it fell back out again, Doh.

The trouble is, after the first ewcm sighting I shag like crazy the can't tell when I might have actually iced, or when the ewcm stops!

WouldRatherHaveCake · 22/06/2015 08:07

country I got a positive opk on the Friday but temp didn't spike and didn't get ewcm til the Sunday

lildottie · 22/06/2015 08:22

ovulation dip country?

CountryGal4 · 22/06/2015 08:25

Normally I get a positive opk then next day temp dip then the day after temps shoots up. This is what temps look like so far. Red line is temp

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
lildottie · 22/06/2015 08:29

ugh I don't get ovia! so today is cd22?? was pos opk yesterday?

5hell · 22/06/2015 08:32

well i know almost nothing about temping or OPKs country but could anything have been disrupting your sleep or temps this month....illness? snoring dh? broken thermometer?

anyone elses dh get (and I quote) cock ache? had to laugh, apparently saturday morings session was too much for him! Wink

honeysucklejasmine · 22/06/2015 08:49

Everyone really should use Fertility Friend. Ovia does not customise to your data, just works on cycle averages. Ff is much more accurate. If you have time, download it and back fill it with your data for last few months.

CountryGal4 · 22/06/2015 09:07

Cd 17 and 22nd is the date. Opks pretty much blank since Saturday. I find ff complicated. Ovia is like fertility for dummies Grin

ThursdayLast · 22/06/2015 09:47

I feel like FF is judging me for not entering enough info.
I don't really give it enough to go on Grin

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 22/06/2015 09:55

Cd33 and no sign of anything!!! I hate having long cycles!!!! Grrrrr Angry

5hell · 22/06/2015 10:46

cold how long are your cycles normally then?

thurs i also feel glow is dissapointed in my lack of fertility-related data, I never give it bbt/opk/cervix info, just the cm (if it's lucky).

too scared to poas, dont have one anyway, cant bear thought of another mc and all the uncertainty, might buy frer at lunchtime which will prob make af appear, shit!

lildottie · 22/06/2015 12:32

you can change the settings in ff to base on different info. I find it much more user friendly than ovia. I installed ovia for about 3mins, couldn't stand it then found ff! it's not uncommon to get a surge and it not happen and your body will try again later. just keep temping and keep shagging.

lildottie · 22/06/2015 12:33

5hell did you confirm ov with temping? if yes poas. if no then I'd wait at least a week, if not 2 given its wtf cycle territory.

CountryGal4 · 22/06/2015 12:57

I was worried about that. If that is the case then that's two surges so far this cycle! Humph.

lildottie · 22/06/2015 12:58

up to 2 annovulatory cycles a year is also considered normal too.

CountryGal4 · 22/06/2015 12:58

Forgot to put in useless surges

CountryGal4 · 22/06/2015 12:59

I know I know Sad