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These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
lildottie · 19/06/2015 23:57

get him to go to go and ask for an sa.

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 20/06/2015 00:19

Icing spoon is for eating icing out of the tub with. He says I don't look like me and it is deeply unattractive... Have left the house and gone for a drink

Ain626 · 20/06/2015 01:12

fluffy I think you hit via nail on the head. It's 1am, and I can't decide what to do with myself. I needed that sleep though. Been awake for a bit, trying to get back to sleep so can wake up early and have a productive day tomorrow.

sky I'm hoping dp is just being am idiot because it's a change. But even so. No excuse for that. It's also fabulous. What do men know?

cold glad you are feeling amazing! Well done on a good week.

Right. What should I do? Go back to bed or try to work?

Ain626 · 20/06/2015 01:16

Damn it. Just typed out reply on my phone and lost it.

Basic summary was..

fluffy you hit the nail on the head. I currently don't know what to do with myself.

sky you look fabulous.

cold glad you've had a good week. Well done. Grin

Trying to decide whether to go back to bed or to do some work.

justtheonethen · 20/06/2015 02:23

Tubs of icing? I've lived a sheltered life! There is no excuse for him saying that. It's unacceptably cruel. In my opinion, obviously only based on two photos, you don't look that different. It's just your hair that's different and it's not like you have gone for a shaved head or dreadlocks. Or even that you have gone from waist length to a bob or anything really dramatic. It's still just lovely, same length hair that's admittedly different style and colour but it's still you but with swishy new hair. He's being a prick. Ultimately even if he doesn't like it he should make you feel good about yourself. Especially when it's clearly a fab do. Good for you for going out but are you ok?

Thanks lil, that's what I suspected. What's the likelihood of him getting an sa if he asks for one? Everything I hear seems to suggest gp starts with testing women. Suppose it won't hurt for him to ask

justtheonethen · 20/06/2015 02:24

ain option c, watch some crap tv!

lildottie · 20/06/2015 07:59

are you registered at same gp just? how long have u been trying? my gp booked for us both.

honeysucklejasmine · 20/06/2015 08:09

Sky your DH is being a wanker. I hope he apologises today. or else

lildottie · 20/06/2015 08:18

yes sky your dg is being an utter wankstain. he's entitled to not like it, that's his opinion. but to make you feel so awful and to be so nasty about it is just down right spiteful.

lildottie · 20/06/2015 08:18

that was meant to be dh but as he's being such a dog maybe dg is more accurate!

CountryGal4 · 20/06/2015 09:05

God what a lot to catch up on. Here I go. sky obv a knob. It looks great. It's actually not that different either. New hair cuts are supposed to make you have a spring jn your step and he's pissed all over it. Dh thinks it looks cool Smile
Yes to fearne no to spiders
just shaaaaag woman shaaaag. If you're worried get him on 1000 vit c give three months then consider private testing.

Sorry to anyone else who's have a tough time

We ran out of tea bags so had to the shop bleary eyed. Look what else I bought Grin

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
CountryGal4 · 20/06/2015 09:08

All the x posting fuck sake. I'll just sit in the corner and eat my cocoa pops... Don't mind me sigh

CountryGal4 · 20/06/2015 10:06

Dh has buggered off for the day... Where is everyone?

honeysucklejasmine · 20/06/2015 10:57

I'm here. Today we will be clearing out the spare room but for now I am watching Saturday kitchen and DH is on the computer.

SockQueen · 20/06/2015 11:11

I'm revising, then going for lunch with friends. They are both vegetarian but have suggested an Argentinian steak restaurant, Confused as apparently the veggie options look great - I'm not going to complain!

justtheonethen · 20/06/2015 11:18

Oh country lob a box of frosties my way.

Dp bought me a bacon sandwich in bed this morning. Going out for lunch in a bit.

Same gp, I have a serious phobia of blood tests though so want to rule him out first. I'm not just scared of needles, it's specifically the blood coming out. I've not ever had one where I haven't fainted. Last one I was sedated before but the nurse still had to sit on my chest so the doctor could do it as I was hysterical. So i would like to put them off as long as poss. I have had an internal ultrasound recently which showed everything looking "lovely" apparently. Obv I know it could still be something else with me.

CountryGal4 · 20/06/2015 11:20

Was the us Ttc related?

WouldRatherHaveCake · 20/06/2015 11:20

I'm here. Popped my head in on the grads but feel a bit of a sham as I'm only a tiny bit preg so will stick around here and lurk there for now. Did a CB digi this morning and got 1-2 so I guess there really is no denying it now! Just wrote out a fathers day card to tell OH tomorrow. Feeling a bit fragile today too but I think it's too early for symptoms?

CountryGal4 · 20/06/2015 11:20

Also sniggering at your lovely insides

WouldRatherHaveCake · 20/06/2015 11:22

just have you tried headphones/music while they do it? Blast that and close your eyes!

honeysucklejasmine · 20/06/2015 11:35

Wine I still don't have any symptoms other than the odd womble cramp.

justtheonethen · 20/06/2015 12:20

I've tried everything trust me. They have only ever managed to get blood twice as I turn into the girl from the exorcist.

Us was because I had a bit of spotting and an over zealous doctor!

ThursdayLast · 20/06/2015 12:40

CD 11. NFMV - more jizz Grin

ThursdayLast · 20/06/2015 12:41

Cd 12 actually

justtheonethen · 20/06/2015 12:52

NFMV failed shag Sad