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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
justtheonethen · 19/06/2015 22:32

And obv her face too but that might be a bit out of reach!

justtheonethen · 19/06/2015 22:35

What doesn't be like sky? I think it's amazing. Makes you look so elegant and young! It's really fashionable. Men are scared of fashionable in my opinion. Please don't let him make you not like it. It looks incredible. He's obviously a Wally. LTB!

lildottie · 19/06/2015 22:42

Thursday pm me your fb email address and I'll add you.

ThursdayLast · 19/06/2015 22:50

Thanks lil will do Grin

That's how I think I want my hair too just but it always looks so long on me.
I don't like her face. Or her voice. Or her personality.

justtheonethen · 19/06/2015 22:56

thursday I can't add you on my phone by email but I'll try and get on laptop. Although I think if I do an admin will have to confirm it so if lovely lil jelly are about then maybe quicker if they do it.

MrsTattoo · 19/06/2015 22:56

ohhh I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to out myself on facebook group or not yet Blush Would be nice to put names to faces though!

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 19/06/2015 22:57

Well DP just said he hates my hair so much that even if I dyed it back my attractiveness is ruined for him. Don't know whether to cry or scream.

justtheonethen · 19/06/2015 22:58

Are you really short thurs?! I get told I sound like her a lot, also get told I'm quite like her but wont admit it as want you to like me! yeah me either, what a twat.

MrsTattoo · 19/06/2015 23:01

Ignore him sky (everyone knows men have no style Wink ) I could shave my head bald and DH wouldn't even comment Hmm

ThursdayLast · 19/06/2015 23:04

Blush no! You are wonderful just, you must take after her good bits ie you don't interview people

I think I have a short neck. Bobs need to be bouncy on me.

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 19/06/2015 23:05

Crying like a kid. Can't decide which is worse, that he hates it so much or that he would be such a bully about it.

justtheonethen · 19/06/2015 23:06

sky! That's not nice. In that case then you might as well flaunt the new hair. It honestly looks amazing. I'm far too quite honest and I'm not one to gush if I don't really care! I'm constantly told by dp that I'm not effusive enough! Poor you. He is being a right Wally. Is it something else? I only mean that dp can be an arse if he's worrying about something or had a bad day and he can come across like an arse whereas on another day he wouldn't. Or he might just be being an arse. I still think he's scared you're now out of his league!

justtheonethen · 19/06/2015 23:08

tattoo join! I resisted for ages for same reason but no one wants to out self so all in same boat and everyone is v normal if cat obsessed. I like having faces to names too.

Hobbit19 · 19/06/2015 23:08

Oh my days, Sky I can't believe he said such a horrible thing!! How mean Sad Does he not know that the correct response is 'your hair looks nice dear'? Have some Wine and tell your OH that I said he needs to find his manners.

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 19/06/2015 23:08

I don't care what his fucking problem is. He is being mean.

justtheonethen · 19/06/2015 23:09

But if one of your exotic pets is a spider don't you dare post a pic else I'll have to hunt you down and kill you wee in fear in proximity to spider

5hell · 19/06/2015 23:09

sky boo to your dh, I think your new hair looks fab - although the before shot is pretty good too!!! :) it is quite different, so give him a night to ket used to it and then if he's still being a fool give him a slap from us!

i am sooooo overdue a hair cut, and dye, and style, and brow threading, and bikini wax and epilating!!! god i'm a state!

friends and new baby coming tomorrow - can't wait! Grin

MrsTattoo · 19/06/2015 23:10

justtheone I should fit in well then! (I have 4!)Grin

I will bite the bullet and PM dottie Smile

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 19/06/2015 23:13

Have armed self with wine and icing spoon. Still devastated though. AF due on Thursday. Feeling completely insecure and gross now. This is really out of character for him

justtheonethen · 19/06/2015 23:21

4?! Join immediately and post photos!

sky yeah I was trying to be diplomatic but what is going through my mind was what a fucking prick. Totally unacceptable. He needs to find his manners now. I would be raging. I assume this is out of character? Give him a swift kick in the balls and make him grovel muchly. I'm seething for you. Want me to come round and take my hormonal rage out on him?

In NFMV I have all the ewcm, opk v negative though. I'll try and don't cape later but I'm overdue an armpit wax and I am wearing my pjs so let's hope dp can see past it probably have to do me from behind

justtheonethen · 19/06/2015 23:28

What is icing spoon sky?! Just a spoon with icing on? Why on a spoon?

Anyone got a home remedy for mozzie bites? My bite cream has run out and I'm bitten to shit and they are proper swollen!

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 19/06/2015 23:32

Hi all. Not on facebook so can't comment on sky's hair. Am sure it looks fab though. Sorry your DH doesn't like it. Don't talk to him until he has come to his senses!!!

I am feeling rather fabulous today. Despite breaking down in the middle of a slip road (off a motorway) earlier and then being 2 hours late for work!!
I had amazing willpower earlier on, and resisted the takeaway that everyone else at work ordered. Then a woman at work asked if I was purposefully dieting and she could tell I'd lost weight Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin I haven't lost a single pound, but I am glad that I look better!!! Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
I do feel better than at the beginning of the week. My skin looks better too. Less blotchy and spotty. I am contributing this to less junk food, and less wheat!!! I am now going off to write notes to myself about how good I feel after avoiding wheat, and leave them all over the house, for when I am tempted.

I have been taking my correct dose of metformin as well. I don't think this has directly contributed to better skin etc, but I do think it has helped to decrease my appetite, which has helped me to stay away from wheaty stuff.

It looks like DH is falling asleep on the sofa, so I am going to curl up in bed and watch tv

justtheonethen · 19/06/2015 23:48

Anyone tried the home sperm tests? Something tells me they must be rubbish as otherwise everyone would have done one but there's a bit of my that's tempted. Talk me down viroids

justtheonethen · 19/06/2015 23:50

Yes cold fist pump go you! That's fab news. Everyone should feel fabulous.

lildottie · 19/06/2015 23:57

just don't bother. dh did one, got a "your sperm is totally awesome" result and it turned out he was the source of our lack of baby! the home tests can only measure count and maybe motility but not morphology. if there are loads and the swim great but if they can't crack through the egg then ur screwed.