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When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
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31
WouldRatherHaveWine · 17/06/2015 23:06

ain you're lovely. I hope the appointment goes well.

Welcome tattoo, any stats?! because I'm nosey age, DCs/cats/dogs/other furry animal, and do you like cake? I had sticky toffee pudding tonight. Diet is going well....

I'm all spotty again, AF must be on its way. Will totally end up POAS anyway Hmm

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 17/06/2015 23:18

I'm in! No cat pics to show you sadly. My ex husband kept the cat (she hated me anyhow????

MrsTattoo · 17/06/2015 23:33

wine stats - 25, TTC#1, DH (together 10yrs Hmm) , various pets - mainly exotic - dont want to out myself as not very common!, have severe Tokophobia so am crazy emotional scared wreck every day of the ttc process.

And most importantly - coffee and walnut cake is my 1st choice, with a huge latte on the side Wink

MrsTattoo · 17/06/2015 23:36

dottie thanks for the info! will have to start paying attention to that too Confused Part of my job involves other peoples bodily fluids/functions so I don't tend to pay much attention to my own...until now I guess Grin

WouldRatherHaveWine · 17/06/2015 23:39

Ooh tattoo I like you! I know of someone who had CBT and counselling for tokophobia and has had a little girl!

sky they are traitorous arseholes at the best of times. (Cats not exs)

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 17/06/2015 23:42

Glad things went well at the GP's sock it's all happening for you now!

Well I am gloomier than gloomy now. Stopped off at my parents on way home from work. Had been texting my mum earlier, so this evening they were trying to be supportive about dieting etc......but kind of went at it with a sledgehammer. Mum gave me a long list of reasons to stick at diet, but to be honest it just made me feel more shit. I know the reasons why I want to lose weight, but it doesn't make it any easier. She should know this, she's bigger than me!!
Seriously, I just wanted to come home and cry my eyes out and get a hug from DH, but by the time I got home DH was sound asleep in bed.......

Are you following any particular diet ain? Are you taking metformin?
I like the idea of slimming world honey and jelly (though again, doing it from home, not going to group as I don't find classes helpful at all!) but I think I need to do that in conjuntion with counting calories etc. I dont have a very good idea of portion control when it comes to things like pasta!

What appointment do you have next week ain?

lildottie · 17/06/2015 23:48

cold definitely work on portion sizes, that's an easy win. and switch white pasta, rice, bread etc to wholegrain/wholewheat versions. they are better types of carbs. I started to chop up cauliflower really small and put in a bowl with cling film over then microwave for 5-7mins - easy rice replacement that is actually really nice. ice done it with curry, salmon burgers etc.
get excited about real wholesome food, it really helps. scour the net for some healthy recipes you like the look of, maybe start looking for ones with an ingredient you'd like to try eating more of. advocado's are meant to be good for fertility.
as for your mum, don't let it bother you. she's trying to help and means well.

lildottie · 17/06/2015 23:50

those who have recently joined the fb group, can you comment on the pinned post introducing yourself with mn name so I can update the pinned post. thanks

MrsTattoo · 17/06/2015 23:51

wine thats good to know. I haven't spoken to anyone about ttc irl at all as know what reaction I will get after everything I have said over the years but will be booking in to speak to a GP shortly as need to discuss a lot of things Confused scared shitless and now wishing I had cake in the house to calm my nerves! Wink

WouldRatherHaveWine · 17/06/2015 23:56

I told one person and regretted it so I wish I'd kept quiet. Plus, that's what we are here for!!

CountryGal4 · 18/06/2015 07:10

pud I like to think we have shared custody of the fanjo. Three days a week and every other weekend Grin

WouldRatherHaveWine · 18/06/2015 08:27

Erm

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
WouldRatherHaveWine · 18/06/2015 08:28

Stupid phone! Was trying to ask if anyone else has problems with putting pictures onto here?

WouldRatherHaveWine · 18/06/2015 08:29

Ooh never mind, it worked!

Tinkfromlovejoy · 18/06/2015 08:44

That's a line! Grin tell me that's not an opk? Grin

honeysucklejasmine · 18/06/2015 08:49

Wine! That's a line! And it's a HPT! You're upduffed! Grin YAY!

honeysucklejasmine · 18/06/2015 08:50

Aaaaah! Congratulations!

Tinkfromlovejoy · 18/06/2015 08:55

Congratulations! Flowers

WouldRatherHaveWine · 18/06/2015 08:55

I'm not convinced yet!

honeysucklejasmine · 18/06/2015 08:58

Didn't your buy FRERs the other day? Pee on one!

WouldRatherHaveWine · 18/06/2015 09:08

Honey it's not letting me upload! Will put it on the FB group

jellypi3 · 18/06/2015 09:11

That a bf-fucking-p wine!!!! You are upduffed! Congrats!

WouldRatherHaveWine · 18/06/2015 09:19

Not guna lie, I laughed and then cried!

jellypi3 · 18/06/2015 09:23

Happy cry?

WouldRatherHaveWine · 18/06/2015 09:26

Happy and freaking terrified! I only got to about 5 weeks last time so going to try and stay calm!

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