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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
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31
honeysucklejasmine · 17/06/2015 15:37

Yeah I am not going to class or anything, just following it myself. Had museli and blueberries for breakfast, potato, beans and cheese for lunch. Will have chicken and veg for tea I think. Plenty of fruit in fridge so fingers crossed!

CountryGal4 · 17/06/2015 16:31

I've really lost my mojo this cycle Sad

jellypi3 · 17/06/2015 16:44

Sounds like a good effort honey :)

country I lost my mojo for two cycles, don't worry about it. You will either get it back or get a bfp Wink I do honestly think that was part of our success though, I just wasn't thinking about it for the first half of the cycle.

Good luck x

SockQueen · 17/06/2015 17:18

GP has agreed to refer me directly to fertility clinic rather than general gynae clinic - his suggestion, not mine!

So I've got MORE blood tests next week and had a chlamydia test today, and DH has to go jizz in a cup at some point. I'm really pleased that we're moving forward, but it seems like a much bigger deal doing it this way. Confused

WouldRatherHaveWine · 17/06/2015 17:29

Ooh good luck sock!

Another one not feeling it this cycle. I just know it's not our month so want to get it out the way with

lildottie · 17/06/2015 17:34

sock thats great news. feel free to pme if u have any questions along the way

justtheonethen · 17/06/2015 17:36

I'm the same country, can't even be bothered to shag. Feeling totally blah about it all.

justtheonethen · 17/06/2015 17:37

Great news sock!

picklethistle · 17/06/2015 17:52

Hi shaggers,

Iv been away for a few days and it's taken a while to catch up.

HUGE congratulations honey I am delighted for you Grin

sock I hope all the tests come back with helpful results.

lil if got my GX for your next round of IVF, hope the witch behaves herself for you.

Flowers for those having a tough time.

NFMV: ding dong the witch is gone! Got my first Jizz of cycle 4 last night. Tried OPKs for the first time this morning and got a little line. So intrigued to figure out when I ovulate. Feeling rather positive at the mo.

News not from my vagina: I have a job for a few months. Feeling less stressed and hoping that is going to help this month! I'm sending my new found positivity out to all viroids for sticky beans and BFPs!!!

CountryGal4 · 17/06/2015 18:02

God just we really do share a vagjna. I don't want sex at all. Which is very unhelpful as jiz is required for baby making. I just dropped my roc in the toilet which is hilarious. It made me tear up. Sigh I don't really know what's wrong with me. Which is annoying as I'm quite a no nonsense-carry on with it type person!

CountryGal4 · 17/06/2015 18:03

Tear up as in upset not from laughing

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 17/06/2015 19:54

How do I find the FB group? Lost! Help?

WouldRatherHaveWine · 17/06/2015 21:07

sky the group is secret so a member needs to add you. I think it was jelly that added me! I just sent her my Facebook email address. I would do it but I've no idea how!

justtheonethen · 17/06/2015 21:27

country I know, I am a ball of rage/tears at the moment and normally I'm fairly emotionless! I'm just so pissed off at the moment. Not helped by dp telling me he's away next fertile window also. Ffs I'm never going to get pg.

Lil added me to group-send her your email address

Tinkfromlovejoy · 17/06/2015 21:29

Pant snot and wine, tis a good combination no? Grin

Just hope he doesn't get carried away and let loose all over my face again!

Wine
MrsTattoo · 17/06/2015 21:30

Evening ladies,

Congrats to those who are upduffed!Grin

Thanks for those who need it

Usually a lurker but I need some positivity as utterly miserable at the moment.
AF arrived at midnight, put an end to 46 day cycle. Have only been TTC since start of May so wasn't expecting miracles.
Have been using Ovia for 6 weeks now, backtracked and entered the AF I could remember for the year (hoping to make some sense of whats going on), realising that this is only my 4th AF this year, generally seems to be 40-50 day cycles, I'm new to all the conception stuff so not really sure how screwed up this makes me? Am I doomed before I even start? Confused

I never really paid attention to AF dates before this as I'm (kind of) young and (very) dumb so not sure how long this has been the norm for me or if its just the stress of this year (several sudden family deaths in first few weeks of year, job stress, builders in etc).

Any advice would be great!

Sorry for rambling, Thanks girls! Wink

Hobbit19 · 17/06/2015 21:40

Welcome to the crazy Tattoo! Firstly don't worry about the long cycles, I was anything from 35 to 47 days but was v v lucky and got upduffed in 2 cycles (although 4 months iyswim). I was worried that long cycles were 'bad', but it turned out not to be the case. I just used ewcm and cervical position to try to work out when I was icing, but really the key was just to keep shagging with long cycles. Trying since may is really not v long so try not to worry.

Country and Just, sorry that you feel so naff. Flowers Currently trying to work out if you are siamese twins (shared vag) or just the one person with split personality disorder (just the one vag).

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 17/06/2015 21:46

Ah. I sent my email to Lil perhaps she's not had time yet.

Flowers and Brew for all

justtheonethen · 17/06/2015 21:53

Shared vag pud!

tink Grin dp asked on Monday "do you want me to come on your tits". Um no idiot!

Welcome tattoo sorry you're having a hard time. You will be fine, can't promise to distract from the crazy though!

MrsTattoo · 17/06/2015 22:03

Thanks yorkshire I know I'm just having a crazy moment but haven't really seen many posts from anyone in cd40+ so thought I might be broken and barren ha! Hmm

My have to get DH to check cervix (sure he wont complain too much!), I am not poking around in there with my stupidly long false nails Blush

Hobbit19 · 17/06/2015 22:39

Don't worry Tattoo, we all have crazy moments. I don't know that many people who use cervical position but I did find it useful. Not with false nails though - ouch!!

lildottie · 17/06/2015 22:45

sky I added you se night. I will try again, bit check your junk email. it will go to email rather than link on notifications and needs to be email you use to sign I to Facebook.

tink Grin

tattoo hi. please don't worry about long cycles. mine have been all over the place since I came off the pill, anything from 28-79 days in the last 3years and all my fertility tests have been dubbed "perfect" by the nurses! just do what the others say, shag regularly and keep an eye out for pant snot (ewcm). I've never bothered with cervix position as couldn't tell what the hell it was doing when I tried --though I do temp and chart my cycles to confirm ovulation and use ovulation tests!)
best tip we can give you is the tissue test for checking ewcm - if it soaks into toilet paper its jizz, if it sits on top stop stating at it and get shagging!

lildottie · 17/06/2015 22:46

*same night!

Ain626 · 17/06/2015 22:47

I'm on the trying to lose weight for ttc train too cold. It's hard. I am eating healthier, but clearly not healthy enough as my current plateau has lasted for ages now...

CD49, my hoping for a less than 50 day cycle failed... at least I have my appointment next Friday. Need to make sure I write down all my questions this weekend.

Flowers to all. Just because. You don't need a reason for flowers.

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 17/06/2015 23:03

Thanks Lil that's not my regular email so will check now!

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