These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

[Augusthomotherium]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Wine hooyah!

I'm currently a bit annoyed at DH. He's annoyed at me because I asked him to make a phone call for me. I HATE talking on the phone. Unless it's someone in my immediate family (and sometimes even then...) I avoid answering the phone or making any calls. I don't know why, but speaking on the phone makes me anxious. For any calls I have to make I really have to psych myself up for it. He knows this. Yes I am being a bit unreasonable in that it's a call that should be easy to make, but I also think he is being very unreasonable in that he KNOWS how much I hate the phone...

In his 'I'm going to be an arse and not talk to you' mood he did decide to go on a kitchen cleaning spree. Not going to complain too much about that one. Apart from he's put the washing machine on and I wanted to put my jeans in before it got switched on. My jeans will have to wait...

Considering going up to the gym. Just for 20 mins or so. Get the 'annoyance' thing out of my system.

I would Ain. If in doubt, do some exercise. It's deffo saved the lives of many of my family members in the past.

ain deep breath. can I turn this around without you haring me? my dh is the same, well was. he's better now but he used ylto refuse even to phone to order Chinese. so I had to do everything phone related. it put a lot of pressure on me because it mwant there was only one of us sorting the window cleaner, the bin cleaner, the problem with the gas company, setting up the council tax DD, phoning about the broadband going down, booking holidays,hotels, dinners, and yes even ordering every last takeaway before dominos went online and I too have been guilty of getting annoyed about being asked to make another phone call when to me there was no reason for him not to do it. I'm not saying yabu because I know its not something you have control over, I'm just trying to help you see why he might be fed up. for dh it was/is/always will ve a confidence issue but he got so much better after doing CBT. perhaps it is something you can talk to your counsellor about?
at least the kitchens clean though!

ain go get some exercise and work out the annoyance. lil is right though, my ex was the same and I sympathised but it put a lot of pressure on me and I did get annoyed occasionally.

Just tried the conceive plus. Not convinced it didn't make everything fall out but I will persevere!

Dead slippery though right ??

Well slippery!

How's your temping going?

Alright, apart from one crazy high temp which ff didn't like! Not sure why that one was so high?!

ain i hate phoning too...i will do it but always procrastinate massively :(

wine get one!
And where are frers on bogof again?

boots wasn't it. maybe I should get some for the ivf cycle while they're on offer thinking about it!

See, but I'm okay with doing things face to face whereas he hates that. So things that are done face to face like at the bank or even going up to order food at Nandos or a drink at a bar is my job because he won't do it... so in that respect I would say we've kinda got a 50 50 thing going on here...

Anyway, I did go to the gym. And stayed for nearly an hour, so better than my initially planned 20 min. It was very quiet and one of the gym mentor people rustled up a couple of the few people that were in there and got us doing exercises for your abs. Not gonna complain about a free session like that, and the lady doing it was pretty hot too. Haha! She touched my waist at one point when she was pointing out muscles that the exercise was working on. Most action I'm going to get seeing as DH is still in a strop.

Oh, and this will interest honey more than anyone, but I have said I will take over the brownie unit so it doesn't have to close. Going to go meet the commissioner on Thursday at the meeting place, so going to meet the girls too... bit nervous. Lol. Been a few years since I've been in guiding now...

Oh, and I also had a call telling me I had won £40 on the raffle at the dogs trust fun day the other day. (So I guess not all phone calls are bad, though I only found out as I listen to my voice mail...) I think I'm going to donate it back to the dogs trust. :-)

Aww that's nice of you ain - I don't think I would want to keep money from a charity either. It's different if it's something that someone has donated, but not cash!!

I'm finally getting into bed after a long day. Rushing around trying to tidy kitchen this morning, rush out of front door leaving keys in the lock on the inside. Dd and I were stuck on doorstep for an hr trying to get back in before my sister came to the rescue with the spare key and a nail file!! Spent rest of day rushing before work, followed by a busy shift at work. Have come home and finished tidying kitchen and lounge (I didn't do housework for one day and it looked like a bomb had exploded! !)
I can chill out a bit now. I can't relax in a messy house!!!

Morning ladies - am 5 days late but took a test and it's BFN. Had a lovely day yesterday for dd's birthday so really glad I left it to this morning. My cycles have always been regular so I'm guessing this is a sign of age (40 in 2 weeks) and that things might be slowing down In a reproductive sense. Really gutted... keep saying to myself - not the end of the world, we said we'd be happy to just have DD but all the same I just feel gutted.

Nutty are you sure about when you ovulated? I ovulated 4 days late once, so thought AF was late when she wasn't. Don't write yourself off as infertile!

I don't feel especially pregnant at the moment. Except being very hot, I feel totally normal! Will be making a doctors appointment today. In the meanwhile, I am in the "pants watch terrified to wipe" phase!

honey I don't overly feel pregnant. People on the feb AN group are chundering left right and Center and I'm just dealing with the odd bit of nausea. Don't worry about it, the symptoms will come.

ain I used to be the same, hated talking on the phone. Kind of had to bite the bullet and just do it when at uni and its better now.

what a busy busy lot of viroids

carrot how was blood donors? or is that today?

as honey says nut (mmmm honey nut!) things occasionally change, i guess we shouldn't really expect AF to be bang on time every single month. maybe she thinks she's boing considerate staying away for DDs party (or maybe you're upduffed! )

Wondering if I should announce this to the world (via Facebook) or not. Obviously not the fact we're ttc. But I need to lose a serious amount of weight. As I have pcos any weight loss should apparently help with conceiving.
I'm thinking that if all friends and family know I'm on a diet then I will be more likely to stick to it. Rather than having a bad day and starting again tomorrow.
What do you think? Would it be helpful or too much pressure?

Nfmv: were now on cd28. Nothing going on. I thought the strange feelings during sex Sunday night meant I was ovulating but opk stick yesterday said otherwise! No other symptoms at all!! Grrr

Finally managed to get a doctors appointment to discuss the ultrasound result and hopefully get referred to gynae. I've just finished a fairly unpleasant night shift so I hope I can be coherent enough!

Cold I think it depends on what your other FB friends are like. I am also losing weight for TTC and have PCOS, but I don't think I'd share it, because it's my private thing and I don't want other people judging me. By all means tell friends/family though.

cold I usually get pos opk, then the sex pain so maybe you missed surge. as for diet we can keep each other in check if you like. I was t to lose a stone a.d have started swimming and yoga but am currently sat on lidl car park eating chocolate while waiting for my next appt. I am supposed to be doing low carb high protein. yesterday I had 2 Belgian buns too!

sock good luck at drs.

Thanks honey and shell
I don't think anything as drastic is happening - just that I should be aware that I'm at the age when my fertility drops simply because of biology.

Had a good cry and talked to DP - I'd been approaching it as disappointment that I haven't got pregnant because the truth is that I was expecting it to happen because it did last time. At this age and plus the fact we have got DD means it would be better to approach it as no expectation that it will happen, drop the pressure on myself so that even if it does happen its a nice bonus. Sounds good in theory but maybe hard in practice.

I think I need to get babies of my mind and stick to non conception sections of mumsnet... I love reading the JS threads but I'm not sure its helping me - just reiterates how much I want a baby as much as everyone on this thread but we are lucky - I've had DD late in life and maybe I should try and dial down my expectations

coldfeet I can see where you're coming from, knowing people know you are on a diet helps you stick to it but that's a hell of a lot of pressure if its out there for all your facebook friends.
I would probably not be quiet about it in person, but not announce it on facebook. (But then that probably applies to most things in my life - I'm hesitant to put too much personal stuff on there)

Good luck at Dr's sock

Hhmm I don't think I'll put anything on Facebook. I wasn't really looking for support from people on there, more accountability if that makes sense? Like I've said this to everyone now I've got to do it type thing.
That sounds a good idea lil though I have a bit more than a stone to lose! !
I've just started juice plus diet but not doing it as hardcore as others. Sticking to 1200-1500 calories a day with the shakes and whatever else I want to eat, but am going to stick to a low gi / sugar diet where possible. A lot of the other girls doing it are following a really restrictive eating plan, but that doesn't work for me. I need something I can stick to without much thought. And where I can prepare meals we'll all eat. I've just bought a slow cooker so I can sort dinner at the beginning of the day,and we can all eat the same thing at our separate times.

Perhaps I would have got a positive op if I had poss on Sunday or Monday. I'm not going to use anymore sticks this cycle. Just wait for af. See how long this cycle is and take it from there. Will make sure I take my metformin every day. That and low sugar diet should help regulate my cycles. Will see what happens in the next month. Was talking to dh last night and he was suggesting going to drs. God knows what he thinks they'll do!!!!

Sorry for epic long post. Feel quite gloomy about things at the moment.

nutty if you need to get away from baby / conception talk for a while I'm sure no one would mind if you disappeared for a while and came back as and when you felt you needed to. Sometimes it helps to focus your energy elsewhere for a while

I am just following slimming world from now on. I'd like to keep losing weight whilst pregnant ideally.

I stopped sw once I got my bfp because I didn't want to carry on weighing in, but I'm trying to fooe the healthy eating plans on there (and failing).