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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
lildottie · 15/06/2015 23:59

will add you shortly sky

feathered my heart goes out to you. I can't remember how far on you are. I was "only" 5weeks and dealt with via fertility clinic not epu so I had no options and was left to get on with it on my own. my experience was about 24-48 hrs of horrendous bleeding and cramps (hot water bottle and paracetamol helped) and after that it slowed to a normal period. in total I bled for 6 days +2 days spotting which is only about 2-3days longer than normal AF for me. my hcg was 6 on the Monday morning and I didn't start to mc until late Thursday evening so if your levels are still going up you may find leaving it to nature means you won't start bleeding until after you are back from hols. so really depends on how quickly you want it over. to be perfectly honest, if it were me, id leave it to nature, particularly whilst levels are still rising. but that's my personal opinion that drs rush in with pills etc too quickly sometimes. I don't know if I'm saying this right. I hope I don't upset you.

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 16/06/2015 00:31

feathered I am so sorry that you had a bad experience at the episode today. Hopefully you will be better looked after from now Flowers

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 16/06/2015 00:39

Okay, quick question viroids. I have no idea when I ovulate, as my cycles are very irregular.

Tmi warning!!!
Whilst shagging this evening, I felt tender when dh was on top. I wouldn't say it was painful, just slightly tender, swollen feeling In my bikini line area.
Could it be ovulation day?

WouldRatherHaveWine · 16/06/2015 07:58

cold I sometimes get tender during sex around ovulation too.

viroids I need a massive hooya. I'm either 11 or 9 dpo and I POAIC. Then spent 20 min squinting in various lighting because I was sure I could see something

Turns out I could. A scratch on the fecking stick. So now I'm 20 min behind on getting ready for work and feeling like a bit of a pleb

honeysucklejasmine · 16/06/2015 08:09

Cold some viroids talk about "exploding ovary" pain when JSing near ovulation, so its quite possible!

Wine unless your LP is 9 days usually.... Step away from the pissy sticks.

ThursdayLast · 16/06/2015 08:10

Oh wine hooya indeed Grin

Doesn't sound familiar to me cold so sorry, no help whatsoever. Useful eh?

Isn't it funny how all the apps tell you something different? From FF and Ovia I reckon I'm basically gonna be shagging Friday-Friday. DH will be delighted! I've a 10mile race on Sunday though, so perhaps I'll need a break...

lildottie · 16/06/2015 08:29

I get exploding ovary pain. it's a certainty for me it means I'm about to ovulate

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 16/06/2015 08:55

Thanks everyone I will assume it was ovulation related then. Not sure what else it could be to be honest as I've not had any pain the rest of the weekend. Would be good timing if I have ovulated. Due to our long weekend we've snagged 4 times in 3 days whoop whoop!! I was gagging for it Saturday night / Sunday morning - that's another sign of ovulation right?
Fingers crossed!!!

Dh left for work 3 hours ago. Probably won't see much of him until Friday night / Saturday morning now! Sad

FeatheredTail · 16/06/2015 09:19

Thanks for sharing Lil and 5hell x

FeatheredTail · 16/06/2015 09:24

I am/was (?) 8+2 today

FeatheredTail · 16/06/2015 09:26

Ps you haven't upset me at all Lil - it was me who was pushing the doctor for a speedier end to things as I think I would be too scared to go on hols (island hopping to quiet islands) without knowing the worst was over x

WouldRatherHaveWine · 16/06/2015 09:34

honey witch isn't due til Sunday WinkGrin

cold go you!! I NEVER want morning nookie!

feathered I'm afraid I'm no use of what to expect. With me I didn't get a positive test until a week after AF and I started to bleed within hours so I never even bothered to phone docs or anything. I had just over a week of bleeding with cramping in the first few days. Spotted for another week or so but was getting negative tests by that point so again didn't bother to phone anyone.

5hell · 16/06/2015 11:25

cold yeah i defo feel a bit different during sex at icing time - sometimes feels like dh is bigger than normal (nice!/tmi) and feels like i'm being poked about a bit more - as you say not painful but defo a different sensation.
i guess it's always happened and i have noticed differences but i never put two and two together and connected it to ov (tbh before ttc and coming on here i was soooo clueless about my cycle, which is particularly embarassing as a scientist). this month actually noted that the 'poking' sensation coincided with ferning in ovulation microscope Grin

had to laugh at dh last night he was all "shall we get sexy tonight?" (not his exact words!) i was a bit unenthusiastic, and he said "well that's no way to make a baby", had to break it to him that prime baby making time had passed this month - he was gutted! ha! poor thing Wink

lildottie · 16/06/2015 12:09

shell bless him! did he manage to get you in the mood?
I never bothered with ferning as I read a lot about them being unreliable, men testing pos for ovulation etc! how do you find it?

feathered I hope you're taking it easy.

lildottie · 16/06/2015 12:16

sorry 5hell my brain obv couldn't cope with the 5 there!

5hell · 16/06/2015 12:41

lil no (the poor thing) - we've done it 9 times since AF and I'd done a free PT session with a trainer so was knackered

i'm quite hit and miss with the frening (as in i dont always do it). this month i forgot for a few days then remembered and BAM ferns! it was a day or two earlier than Glow says (that's just going on global averages i think) but seemed reasonable, ferning then decreased and nothing at the mo (as i'd expect). i like that it's a bit less fussy than temping/opks in that you just have to not have eaten/drunk for a few hours, so whatever time i wake up i try to do it then. it's easy to take away with you and fairly cheap. the biggest faff is cleaning it each time (which is easy, but at 5:30am i'm not so keen!).
as i'm tryign to stay 'relaxed' about ttc its suits that mindset i think.

as with any test there will be errors, outliers and people for whom it just doesn't work. with respect to men showing ferning, i'd guess as it's really a secondary biomarker, then something else (maybe also hormonal?) could trigger ferning in their saliva (esp as food, drink etc can). ineterstingly i saw mild ferning when i was (unknowingly) pg, which was confusing at the time, but obviously just reflected my changed hormones.

oh god, what a ramble.

disclaimer - i'm no expert, or on commission! Grin

lildottie · 16/06/2015 13:44

thanks 5hell. it always sounded like harder work to me which was another reason I didn't bother. and the cleaning sounds like another reason to stay away!! think I'll stick to my 7am thermometer on gob and chuck on the side until I'm ready to look at it!

WouldRatherHaveWine · 16/06/2015 13:51

What the chuff is ferning?! I didn't understand any of that post!

honeysucklejasmine · 16/06/2015 14:05

It's to do with saliva under a microscope. When it "ferns" you should shag. I think 5hell is the only one who does it.

5hell · 16/06/2015 14:25

i do love to be different Grin

i use this one. you basically dab some spit on a teeny microscope, let it dry then take a look. blobs/specks=not ov, ferny crystals=ov

to be fair i've misrepresented 'cleaning' as it actually involves wiping it with a wet cotton bud then drying on my pjs!!!!

WouldRatherHaveWine · 16/06/2015 15:06

I WANT ONE!!

lildottie · 16/06/2015 16:25

cheaper than the cbfm!

WouldRatherHaveWine · 16/06/2015 16:46

I just took advantage of the BOGOF FRER.

I'm so excited. I know I don't need any encouragement, but PEE ON ALL OF THE STICKS!!

justtheonethen · 16/06/2015 16:51

Hooyah wine but excited for your frer action!

CarrotPuff · 16/06/2015 17:27

{hugs} feathered. Have they explained why your hcg is still going up? I always thought if you start mc it starts to go down? I hope all goes well for you, whatever option you choose Flowers

Stoat I know ADs are not ideal when TTC/pg but maybe it could be a sort-term solution at least? Good plan with OH. I hope you find a way of dealing with it Flowers

I find Superdrug own brand sticks give good lines too. And they are quite cheap too (I don't work for SD, I promise).

Going to give blood tomorrow. Gx my iron isn't too low.