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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
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31
justtheonethen · 15/06/2015 19:13

stoat hugs for you. Sorry you're having a tough time.

I'm watching humans from last night and eating a magnum. Bliss

justtheonethen · 15/06/2015 19:29

Fertility friend hates me. Says my luteal length and temperatures vary too much and might mean I'm not ovulating! Hoping after a cycle of temping it will be less alarmist

lildottie · 15/06/2015 19:40

it could also mean your temps are t accurate just. are you doing same time/after 3 hrs solid sleep every day?

honeysucklejasmine · 15/06/2015 19:40

Thanks Little Smile

Feeling rather symptom-less today. Not worried. Last time I had some pretty wicked cramps, but then of course it became a full on mc, so not surprising! I am getting the very occasional twinge today.

FeatheredTail · 15/06/2015 19:42

Honey OMG congratulations! So happy for you - brilliant news and love that you invoked the ultimate las of the sod by having fertility appointment the same day as your BFP!

Lil great news about your IVF - it doesn't sound mad moving it, sounds like you're taking control and doing what's best.

FeatheredTail · 15/06/2015 19:45

Pretty awful day for me (didn't want to tarnish my congrats post to honey and lil)

After 6 hours at EPU finally diagnosed with 'very very likely' miscarriage. One more scan on Thursday to triple check (or tick box) as hcg still rising and then tablets to get all the 'product of conception' out.

I've heard these vag tablets are awful but consultant said surgery would be like "taking a sledgehammer to a nut". Fair enough.

I had an absolute melt down in the waiting room as somehow I got moved down the queue - started to cry and weepily ask the receptionist why - and another lady agreed we had been moved down the queue. She then told me why she was there (pre school teacher - kid had whacked her in her 20 week tummy) and she asked why I was there. Cue bawling. She was so lovely - started crying and walked over and hugged me saying exact thing had happened to her and it was the worst shock ever. Such a small thing but made the rest of the wait so much easier.

Doctor signed me off work but still going up north tomo. Have massive pads and awesome painkillers (co- dydramite??) that I can't wait to crack open.

Hopefully this will all be over soon and I'll be happier/well for my hol next week. I just want to be pregnant again.

My best friend (who is having IVF) got her BFP today. It's very hard I can't lie, but very happy for her.

justtheonethen · 15/06/2015 19:46

Yeah I've been really consistent but it's only been 6 days so I'm not too worried. Hopefully after a whole cycle it will show I have!

MyBlackCat · 15/06/2015 19:50

Very late to the party but mahooosive congratulations honey great news.

NFMV: is nothing cd4, af disappearing. I got my day 21 blood results and progesterone was 47 which I believe shows I'm ovulating - yay! Grin DH off to docs on Wednesday to get a SA referral.

I'm abroad with my job from tomorrow, get back around ovulation so will be jumping DH as soon as I land next week Wink

Sorry stoat that you're having a shit time ThanksWineThanks

MyBlackCat · 15/06/2015 19:52

Xpost really sorry feathered look after yourself xx

justtheonethen · 15/06/2015 19:55

feathered sorry darling, hugs for you.

CountryGal4 · 15/06/2015 19:57

feathered and stoat Flowers

gaggiagirl · 15/06/2015 20:40

So sorry feathered. Did they explain why your hcg was still rising?

jellypi3 · 15/06/2015 20:46

feathered sorry your day was so shit Flowers

Littlechocolatebiscuit · 15/06/2015 20:49

feathered sorry you're having a rough time. Flowers

Littlechocolatebiscuit · 15/06/2015 20:53

just if its any reassurance I was convinced I wasn't ovulating based on my temps as they had no pattern. We then started ttc and I must've been ovulating as I did get pg. Maybe I was temping wrong, but I'm not sure everyone fits the standard pattern.

5hell · 15/06/2015 21:10

oh feathered have a big unmumsnetty hug from me, i really feel for you.

EPU sounds a bit traumatic - 6hrs is obscene! where are you? i think a complaint might be warranted once you're recovered.
do you have to have the chemical assistance? they let me carry on naturally, which although did mean a few weeks of bleeding/spotting, was at least gentle. you're in charge, so make sure you choose what's best for you (and safe of course).

nfmv - no news

stoatystoat · 15/06/2015 21:18

feathered you have my total empathy. I'm so so sorry that this has happened to you. I wish it was all dealt with better, it's hard enough without shoddy treatment. We are here for you. This place has been such a sanctuary for me. I am deeply sorry for your loss and send much strength for the coming days and weeks.

Whoever was it who said - lil maybe or gaggia maybe sorry....but I really feel the stats for mc are well skewed on this fred. Are we not twee enough or something?

WouldRatherHaveWine · 15/06/2015 21:45

What do you mean stoat?

I'm so sorry feathered, big hugs.

stoatystoat · 15/06/2015 21:48

The unjustness at how many MCs there have been among us JSers. Obviously shows how common they are...just seems we've had a lot. We are due some very very sticky beans!

FeatheredTail · 15/06/2015 22:01

Thanks all and Flowers for you Stoat lots of love back at you.

5hell I mentioned I was uncertain about the fanj pills but consultant said it would be 24-48 hours of bad period pain/lots of bleeding but then it would be all over. I have a holiday booked for next week and he said this would probably be the best option for me so I won't be worried whilst abroad. I could always just not go away but I think I need to be away/have a change of scene. Not telling my mum as she will worry about me - and it's hard to avoid seeing her.

I did say I had heard awful things but apparently surgery isn't appropriate given there is no fetus and if I want it over, sooner, this is the best course. I'm pretty scared. Was your experience awful? Don't worry if you don't want to share or think it's inappropriate for this Fred.

Thank you for all the support .... Would find it hard without you all. I'm aware mc chat isn't very encouraging for the shaggers xx

Littlechocolatebiscuit · 15/06/2015 22:14

Sorry if this is tmi

feathered I had about three days of very heavy bleeding (with big clots) and then two weeks of lighter bleeding which was manageable with a normal sanitary towel. I wasn't prescribed pills, the mc happened by itself, so don't know if that would make a difference.

5hell · 15/06/2015 22:36

feathered, physically my mc was very 'mild' - long and slow, frustrating, but much less traumatic than many, so i'm lucky in some ways. for the last 2 weeks i only had blood on wiping so manageable. i was just constantly waiting for it to get worse (which it didn't thankfully), so i can understand you might not want the uncertainty if you're going away.
chose whatever approach will help you - if it helps to know its over, so you can start to recover physically, rest-up and try to relax on hol, then the pills may be better.

agree stoat we do need more sticky beans! perhaps some grads can pop over and remind us it does go well most of the time!

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 15/06/2015 22:38

Aw feathered I am so sorry to hear that. Hugs

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 15/06/2015 22:42

Also five and chat sending you both big hugs

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 15/06/2015 23:03

Lil I've pmed you my FB email thingy. Curious as to what you all look like after catching up on Fred.

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