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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
OP posts:
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31
lildottie · 13/06/2015 13:14

fluffy you will still be bleeding because progesterone hasn't tailed off completely, therefore oestrogen will still be low so no you won't be ovulating whilst bleeding. how long have you been off pill? I had 2 perfect 31day cycles off pill then bled for 7 weeks. hopefully it won't be that long for you but sounds like your body is sorting the BC out of your system and is still trying to remember what it's meant to do. be patient, all will be fine.

bellybuttonfluffy · 13/06/2015 13:19

Came off the pill in March, and the cycles since then had been pretty regular, nothing like this. I really hope it doesnt last 7 weeks Sad I'm pretty sick of it after 11 days.

Thanks so much for the info Lil. Can I assume that next period will likely be later than usual as this one is messed up?

picklethistle · 13/06/2015 14:02

Hahaha fluffy I saw that book this morning, loving the pictures if not a teeny bit creepy! Who knew you had to be naked for three pages to make a baby?! metro.co.uk/2015/06/12/the-internets-getting-freaked-out-by-this-book-how-a-baby-is-made-5242706/?ito=facebook

bellybuttonfluffy · 13/06/2015 14:17

Urghh the blond pubes look like an STI!

Littlechocolatebiscuit · 13/06/2015 15:13

I was really confused by the first pregnant picture in that book. Is it just me or does it look like the penis has broken off and is floating inside her?!

FeatheredTail · 13/06/2015 15:30

Sending hugs to you five

Think I might also be starting to miscarry - just got brownish discharge like tail end of period. Sad don't know whether to bother going to hospital or to bother going for bloods tomorrow?

Just taking heart that others on this board have been through this before.

FeatheredTail · 13/06/2015 15:35

Good grief, those 'how to make a baby' cartoons gave me a very unexpected laugh!

5hell · 13/06/2015 15:36

feathered five thinking of you both. ...it's so hard waiting for results, waiting for scans, for news, for bleeding to start or stop. Although i thought I'd accepted my mc quite quickly, each time i went back to epu there would be a tiny bit of hope, which was hard. I think at the first scan/appointment they dont say much for sure, as only seeing a drop in hcg or prog or no change on u/s aftrr a week can really confirm (i dont think they really trust our dates). Make sure u get all the info u want/need from dr...i found writing a list before i went v useful
You will get through this, you will be ok, take it easy Flowers

5hell · 13/06/2015 15:38

feathered if i were u i would go to appointment regardless - they can be v helpful and kind

FeatheredTail · 13/06/2015 15:50

Thanks 5hell Will go for bloods tomorrow so I can get some answers or some rationale as to why. Hoping the midwife will refer me for a scan on Thursday/Friday so I can see for myself if there's no hope. x

FeatheredTail · 13/06/2015 15:51

Really bugs me that they're funny about dates. It's like - I know when I ovulated. I know when I had sex. My periods are totally regular. I don't need the false hope!!

lildottie · 13/06/2015 15:54

agree you should keep appt/tests feathered.

fluffy your cycle length will be longer yes. you may find you ovulate late too. just checked my chart, that was when and ehy I started temping! bleeding stopped cd50 and I ovulated cd76 so 3weeksafter end of AF rather than a week or so after in a "normal" 28day cycle. my LP was also short that cycle at 10 days. the next cycle ihada 5day af, and didn't ov until cd36 but I had a 16day LP. my cycles since (the 7wk bleed was jan 14) have been irregular but have got more and more settled to ov around cd18-20 with 14day lp. and my temps have confirmed ovulation every cycle since then (until I went on bcp for the ivf). so really don't worry, its shit to have AF visit for so long but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. all my tests have been "perfect" through the infertility process.

ChatEnOeuf · 13/06/2015 16:13

Ooh my those books are something else!

Up to you if returning to EPU will help or not, Feathered, Five. The certainty of a blood test or scan may well help close the book so to speak. My MCs were different, in that the first was complete without any intervention, so I just POAS a couple of weeks after to make sure it was negative before starting again. The twins I had to have an ERPC as the sonographer was worried about a partial molar pregnancy, so I needed to have normal histology. I wasn't offered bloods or a scan afterwards, but did have to make sure with a negative test again. That was enough for me, I didn't really want to keep going back to hospital.

Fluffy I hope it stops soon! You shouldn't ice while bleeding so you shouldn't miss the boat this month. Next AF (/BFP) may well be in the wrong place, it'll be in the region of 14d post ice.

Had Sam's Belgium service today...was beautiful. Too much food though, my friends make excellent cakes!

Ain626 · 13/06/2015 16:41

feathered five Flowers

jelly I didn't realise what the open circles on FF were. When I first started temping I was taking the temp in the morning, but not putting it in to FF til the evening and didn't realise that it was automatically putting the time as the time I was putting it in... doh. So all the open circles at the beginning of my chart could possibly be closed circles...

The pictures from that book that got me were the giving birth ones...

bellybuttonfluffy · 13/06/2015 16:45

Thanks Chat and Lil, I really hope it finishes soon too! Such a pain.

Flowers for the service today Chat.

honeysucklejasmine · 13/06/2015 18:19

Glad the service was good Chat. Hope the UK one is good too. Flowers

ThursdayLast · 13/06/2015 19:11

Oh Chat you must feel so sad Thanks

And more Thanks for feathered and five.

CD5 here, still a bit of AF spotting and first shag of the cycle

WouldRatherHaveWine · 13/06/2015 20:47

FlowersFlowersFlowers

FeatheredTail · 13/06/2015 20:55

I'm glad that you had a lovely service for Sam, Chat. I hope it hasn't taken it out of you and you have drawn strength from it Flowers

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 13/06/2015 20:56

Just got home from the spa - not had chance to read back yet so apologies for missing anything.

Had a lovely day. I had a 25min back and shoulder massage, and 25min facial while DH had a full body massage- so relaxing! Followed by the relaxation room where we were laying on heated tile loungers. ..........heaven!!!
Done some lengths in the pool after, and chilled out in the jacuzzi. DH and I have both decided that we're really unfit (swimming knackered us out!!) and we're talking about getting my cross trainer back from my mum's, and buying a cheap treadmill.........came straight out of spa, popped into tesco for drinks and ended up buying crisps, sweets, chocolate and nuts!!!!! Oh well!!

bellybuttonfluffy · 13/06/2015 21:12

A day at the spa sounds bliss Cold! Good intentions eh? Wink I've definitely been there!

ThursdayLast · 13/06/2015 21:22

Oh, that sounds lovely cold

I have been running and cooking and drinking gin

stoatystoat · 13/06/2015 21:25

Five and feathered, I'm so sorry xxxxx its just the worst. Here for you xx

So for those who were eagerly anticipating PILE OR PERIOD...

On Thursday - defo a pile
Today - period. I'm livid. Not only am I not pregnant but it has really spoiled my day. My friends and I booked tickets to see Savage Beauty a year ago. So obviously my arse exploded five minutes after arriving at the V&A, period came and lots of pain. Why can't I be pregnant? Or at least get a break!

ThursdayLast · 13/06/2015 21:31

I'm sorry stoat Thanks
But what is Savage Beauty? And were you able to enjoy it?

Ain626 · 13/06/2015 21:41

Chat Flowers Sorry, I must have missed your post before. I'm glad you had a nice service for Sam. As Feathered said I hope you were able to draw some strength from it. Flowers

Stoat Hope you're managing to make the most of it. Flowers