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These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
stoatystoat · 13/06/2015 21:43

It is an Alexander McQueen exhibit at the museum. It was impressive, really breathtaking. It would have been immense had I not got epic cramps and had to hold in a fart I could not trust for an hour (I was right not to trust it....). Had a nice meal and drinks though. Thinking of giving up drinking though incase It helps with ttc so a good last one.

SockQueen · 13/06/2015 22:13

Flowers and Cake for Chat, stoat and anyone else feeling down.

DH is in the doghouse today. No shag last night because of computer games, then was about to get it on this morning when his friend rang and said "my train gets in in half an hour, do you want to meet for brunch?" I declined going with them as I have a fuckload of revision to do, but he said he wouldn't be out all day, that he wanted to get his phone fixed as well as show his friends around, and promised to bring me back a present (I'm talking a cookie or something, not diamonds!)

I've had a fascinating afternoon filled with laundry and physiology revision. Then he decided to stay out for dinner. Then drinks. He's just messaged to say he's on his way home, sounds pretty hammered tbh. And he's forgotten to get his phone fixed OR buy me anything. Knob.

ThursdayLast · 13/06/2015 22:29

That sounds really cool stoat - hope you had a nice dinner out too.

Grr sock. That is doghouse behaviour indeed

CarrotPuff · 13/06/2015 22:43

Five and feathered I hope you're not in too much pain. Take all the drugs you can Flowers

Chat Flowers

Cold Envy

Sorry about the witch stoat... Maybe you should invent some kind of silly ritual that you do whenever AF arrives to make you laugh...

Sock LTB!

Had an afternoon shag today. My drive is ramping up so I hope icing is imminent!

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 13/06/2015 23:03

Five and feathered, have go or hospital prescribed strong painkillers? If not, and something stronger than just paracetamol or ibuprofen is needed, then remember you can take ibuprofen and paracetamol together, as they are two different active ingredients. When I am in tremendous pain I will often take 2 ibuprofen and 2 co-codamol - it's brilliant. First suggested to me by a gp. I don't spend my weekends experimenting, honest.

Spa was so lovely. I think we need to go about once every 6 months. It's not massively expensive viroids - I got a voucher via red letter days and booked it at a chain health club Bannatyne not a 5 star spa at all, but the real luxury is spending the afternoon truly relaxing. No TV. No phone. really let's you switch off!!

Am laying in bed waiting for dh to come upstairs. I've made an effort tonight and am wearing a satin chemise (bought for our wedding night) Wink

lildottie · 14/06/2015 00:00

sorry, just skim reading but wanted to send my love to chat after what must have been a very hard day. thank God for good Cake x

Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed · 14/06/2015 01:19

Chat I'm glad for you Sam's service went well. I simply cannot imagine... so I won't even pretend to know what to say. Instead I offer Flowers my lovely.
Cold Thank you for the tips, was early days so while it's not nice, it's no where near as bad as it could be. Will bare that in mind though in case it gets worse.
Feathered I'd agree with the others, keep your appointments. Although you may feel like missing them now it would be awful for you to regret not going. Chatting things through during the appointments might be helpful too?
Sock that does sound naughty, I hope he makes it up to you.
For me, I'm with family today. Smiling through crappy advice and well meaning but tactless comments. They're family though and they're trying to be here for me, what more can you ask. In so many ways I'm so so lucky.

Ain626 · 14/06/2015 08:42

Hugs, Flowers, Cake and Brew for all you lovely viroids (too early for Wine I feel...)

I POAS this morning at what I think is 13DPO. Negative. I'm still really crampy, had patches of feeling nauseous, the past couple days have been really emotional. I also randomly have a couple of spots (face acne style spots) on my chest, arm and leg as well as my face - thankfully not loads, just a couple, but more than normal. And I'm having a really good hair day (rarity for me! Ha!) Hoping all these are positive signs that AF is on her way!

I have an issue viroids... I feel like I've become dependent on my counselling. Possibly too dependent. (This may out me if anyone knows me from work...) My school have changed our weekly whole school meeting from Tuesday to Monday this week (I only found out late Friday) and therefore it now clashes with my counselling... Do I try and get out of the meeting by telling the head about counselling or do I cancel my appointment? I can't just say I have an appointment and not say what it is as I'm actually using the school counsellor so is on the school site. I couldn't say that I have an appointment and then still be on site after the meeting has finished...

Hobbit19 · 14/06/2015 09:22

Can you rearrange your appointment Ain?

nuttybananas · 14/06/2015 09:40

Ain - why can't you tell your head about the counselling? Would he or she discriminate/ treat you worse if they knew? If it's that then I'd rearrange but if it's just the cringe factor of someone knowing then maybe you should bite the bullet and tell him or her? with all the mental health awareness in last few years I'm trying to be more honest with people and not pretend everything is fine or great all the time...

sending out love to chat, feather, five and stoat - you're going through so much...

NFMV - bfn and AF is 24 hours late now, so we had a good shag just for fun last night..

ThursdayLast · 14/06/2015 10:10

Any chance the counsellor could fit you in another day Ain?

5hell · 14/06/2015 12:40

Ain i guess it depends a bit on how important/compulsory the school meeting is - is it ok to miss one? if it is then i might mention the counselling to the head (or whoever organises) and keep your appointment.

if it's the kind of thing you HAVE to attend, I'd skip a week a counselling perhaps? or ask counsellor to move appointment or talk by phone/email instead just for this week?

quiet day here...a little gardening, a little tidying, just cooking rack of lamb, then testing a new yoga class later ...rock and roll! ;)

ThursdayLast · 14/06/2015 13:33

Oh no, a quick look at my calendar tells me my next AF is due on my birthday

stoatystoat · 14/06/2015 15:29

Can you rearrange the counselling ain? I'm in a similar boat to you, I genuinely think I need a session a day at the moment and am always counting down to the next appointment and wouldn't like to have to skip one.

How is everyone? I'm in bed...having a 'bad mental health day'. DH is away this weekend and I've unreasonably consigned him to the dog house because I really need him. He will be back in a few hours.

bellybuttonfluffy · 14/06/2015 15:49

Stoat Flowers for you! Is there anyone you can phone for a chat? When I used to get bad days, I'd take the opportunity lounging in my pjs and not facing the world and text around friends I hadn't spoken to in a while. I think I have the worst friendships, where literally the only news I get from people is on fb, and vice versa (although I do try not to overshare) and it just ends up not even being like friends at all. There is always the risk that people are actually busy and don't reply in the moment and you end up feeling even more lonely. But might be worth a try!

DH and I went to see Jurassic World today which was a real treat as we never get to the cinema. We also did a spot of shopping as it's my birthday next week.

Does the spreadsheet work for everyone else? On my laptop it's saying error and not loading correctly.

ThursdayLast · 14/06/2015 16:11

The stars sheet comes up on my iPad fluffy, weird.
I need to edit it to include myself - I guess I can only do that on a desktop.

DH is confident we will be knocked up soon - he's suggested drinking a bottle of champagne (wedding present) with the football as I won't be and to drink soon apparently Grin

I'm less blasé but need little convincing when it comes to champagne!

bellybuttonfluffy · 14/06/2015 16:22

Drink it Thursday! We got a nice bottle for our wedding, and I was trying to save it for a special occasion but then someone told me that champagne goes off if you don't drink it. Especially if it's stored upright! So I'm thinking for my birthday next week we'll crack it open, as DH isn't for drinking in the house much, so I can guilt him into it as it'll be my birthday Wink

ThursdayLast · 14/06/2015 16:30

Oh all right then fluffy you twisted my arm Wink

5hell · 14/06/2015 17:13

Mmmm champers! Go for it Thurs my dh was right when he thought id get upduffed that cycle

Current crafting...

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
stoatystoat · 14/06/2015 17:23

Thanks belly. I'm the same with feeling lonely if people don't reply. I haven't got anyone to phone and the mc has really made me reevaluate my friendships, in that I have realised how superficial some of them are. Others were great initially but I feel like they think I'm supposed to be over it now and actually I'm getting worse. My auntie has been good as she has had 3 MCs so gets it but she has kids and has given up a lot of time so I feel bad. Apart from her, I have one friend who has had MCs and has been good, but again, she has tiny children so not the time. I am not a great friend these days myself, I can feel myself shrinking. DH will be home in three hours.

What did you buy? Was the film good?

Drink the champagne thursday

WouldRatherHaveWine · 14/06/2015 17:27

5hell that looks so cool!!

ThursdayLast · 14/06/2015 17:36

Looks lovely 5hell! What is it destined for?

stoat would you like a glass? Smile
We're here to listen Thanks I know it's not the same

stoatystoat · 14/06/2015 17:46

Thank you thursday that's really kind thankyou for being here

bellybuttonfluffy · 14/06/2015 19:15

Aww Stoat. Must be so hard for you! As Thursday said, we're here to listen.

5hell, that looks great! I'm a keen crafter, but without the real skill or dedication to see something big through. I'm currently knitting baby hats (which is a bit of a work-related project), but anything that requires anymore skill than that I would struggle.

DH bought me a nice purse, which I picked out. Just a reasonably priced Accessorize one as I'm a bit of a cheap skate (it was still £15!!). DH is aghast that I didn't want a more fancy one. Hmm Anyone else love a bargain?

honeysucklejasmine · 14/06/2015 19:20

£15 is about right for a bag, or leather purse, I think.

But I am tight as a gnats arse with myself. I like to think I am pretty generous with friends!