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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
jellypi3 · 13/06/2015 09:02

wine if you message me, honey or lil with your FB email address we can add you to it :)

WouldRatherHaveWine · 13/06/2015 09:04

Thanks, will message you now Smile

lildottie · 13/06/2015 09:06

morning all. no rain here fortunately. hoping to go for a swim and/or gym later but we'll see.

lildottie · 13/06/2015 09:07

illiria that is hilarious! hope they didn't keep him so long as to ruin his sample!

black the fb group is secret and everyone seems normal enough noones turned up on my doorstep with an axe yet sooooo

nuttybananas · 13/06/2015 09:20

Good morning - would any of you viroids use an out of date pg test? I've got one but the date is end July 2014... last time I didn't poas till I was about 4/5 days late and it's the other one left over from the twin pack... (AF is due today...)

jellypi3 · 13/06/2015 09:21

Yeh the FB group is fine, it's totally secret from other FB users and we are all relatively normal

lildottie · 13/06/2015 09:24

nutty I got a bfp on one that was 2months out of date. I reckon itd be fine.

CountryGal4 · 13/06/2015 09:55

lil just only joined yesterday so there's still time for axe wielding Grin

lildottie · 13/06/2015 10:00

good point country!

FeatheredTail · 13/06/2015 10:18

I'm not great five, feel extremely low. Managed to run my event last night and put on a couple of hours of smiley chattiness - lifted my spirits for a while.

Been awake since 3, googling and feel annoyed the sonographer tried to give us false hope when it seems highly unlikely the pregnancy stopped developing and I will miscarry.

Hcg is 3210 which is in the normal range for 6 weeks I think- but not 7. Getting more bloods done tomo where they will also test for progesterone (first idiot GP didn't think to ask for that) so will have a clearer idea either tomo or Monday.

I don't want to go to the miscarriage boards until it's all confirmed and as clear as can be but I haven't been back to the grads Fred either as no longer feel pregnant.

All preg symptoms are gone.

I'm so tired from no sleep. Sad need to cheer myself up but won't feel out of the woods until the second scan.

How are you doing?

FeatheredTail · 13/06/2015 10:19

*typo - seems highly LIKELY the pregnancy stopped...

MyBlackCat · 13/06/2015 10:20

So how exactly does it work? Do you all get to see my full profile and timeline etc or just my name/profile pic?

My current profile pic is of me and DH on our wedding day, think I would have to change that to reduce by half the chance of being outed!

lildottie · 13/06/2015 10:28

we will only see ur public profile black as we aren't friends just members of a group so if u have it locked down we will probably only see past profile pics. no one on ur fb list will know if in it and if u do know anyone here they are ttc too so unlikely they will tell ur secret!

FeatheredTail · 13/06/2015 10:35

jelly just peeked at grads thread - glad you had good news at your scan. X

Do I pm you the email address I log into fb with to join the group?

jellypi3 · 13/06/2015 10:39

Aww thanks feathered I didn't want to post on this Fred because a couple of you are going through a tough time at the moment x

If anyone wants to join the FB group just pm either me, honey or lil with your FB email address and we will add you :) if your profile is private all we will see is your profile pic not your page itself

CountryGal4 · 13/06/2015 10:49

So i managed sleep around four then temp alarm went off a six. All knowing jelly and lil is that likely to have screwed up this mornings temp? Would it made it go up or down?

justtheonethen · 13/06/2015 11:29

Morning viroids. Tis true, I'm the one most likely to wield an axe

Lazy day today. Going to watch a film in bed and dp just brought back daim ice cream. Oh my!

feather cuddles for you my lovely. Suggest a duvet day for you, I can deliver ice cream and delicious m&s mini oat biscuits!

Great news jelly!

Fb group is basically crazy cat ladies anon but everyone seems pretty normal so far!

jellypi3 · 13/06/2015 11:37

Country did you go back to sleep until 6 and temp then or did you temp at 4? If you Temped early FF should change your circle to an open one to say it's not 100% accurate. If you slept for 2 hours then temped I used just add a symptom of sleeplessness and again it would change it to an open circle :)

CountryGal4 · 13/06/2015 11:41

Slept from 4 - 6 uninterrupted. I use ovia ff confused me :s

Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed · 13/06/2015 11:51

Feathered I'm glad last night went well for you. Must have taken it out of you and with not sleeping I hope you can rest today. Glad too you will have clarity soon, waiting is so hard. Talk here if you're comfortable but I'm sure your friends on the grads Fred won't mind, I'm sure they want to be there for you.
Jelly I saw your scan went well too, lovely news. Didn't say anything as I was barely on that Fred anyway so just feel like a stalker.
NFMV: Hcg levels were half again yesterday. That in some ways is good as they were concerned it might be an EP struggling to take hold. Just one last trip next week and should be back to normal. MC started this morning.

justtheonethen · 13/06/2015 11:58

five hugs for you. Look after yourself

jellypi3 · 13/06/2015 12:30

So sorry to hear that five :( big hugs to you on or you've got people taking care of you x

ThursdayLast · 13/06/2015 12:55

(((((((Five))))))

bellybuttonfluffy · 13/06/2015 12:56

Feathered and Five so sorry about the news, hope you are both doing okay under the circumstances Sad

NFMV; day 11 cycle and STILL pretty heavily bleeding. Feeling so emotional too, I just don't know what's going on. I'm blaming this on post-pill and still trying to sort itself out, but I really don't know as I've always been a pretty regular 6 day period. I have my new handy dandy opks to use this month, but would I be ovulating if I'm still bleeding? And if I am ovulating, I doubt I will be convincing DH to have any shags as he'll find the bleeding a HUGE mood killer!

Urgh.. any advice?

bellybuttonfluffy · 13/06/2015 12:59

On a lighter note,

www.theladbible.com/articles/this-book-that-illustrates-how-a-baby-is-made-is-quite-unsettling

How a baby is made.

But somehow I think us viriods could attempt a more realistic and detailed book!

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