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Conception

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We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!

999 replies

LaLaLaaaa · 17/03/2015 19:02

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 40 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2320175-Lifes-a-bitch-but-we-keep-on-shagging-Weve-stocked-up-on-gin-and-pics-of-cats-If-your-Miroid-cant-give-you-the-big-O-then-LTB-and-come-join-us-50-shades-got-nothing-on-us-Its-JSing-40?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2322010-Calmly-and-regally-gestating-our-beans-in-a-land-of-obsessive-ILs-placenta-horticulture-sweary-doctors-and-naked-pancake-cravings-Its-the-JS-grads-thread-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
honeysucklejasmine · 26/03/2015 22:16

I'm watching it on plus one. Cameron is doing OK, Paxman is cutting him off and making him seem a bit sympathetic.

Hobbit19 · 26/03/2015 22:17

Aint, Google Harvard healthy eating triangle, most sense I have read about diet ever. Whole grains, plant oils and lean protein are in which keep you full. White carbs are treated as a sugar.

Ainat266 · 26/03/2015 22:24

pud I will look it up when I'm next on my laptop. Smile thanks. I keep giving in to cravings at the min. Which are either sugary things or bread. Tonight was not a healthy dinner at all. But that was down to pure laziness. I've had a horrid week and am so drained...

Easter seems a bad time to try and get back on the diet band wagon...

Hobbit19 · 26/03/2015 22:29

You can do it Aint, just don't overindulge on the Easter eggs. It is hard when you are tired though, it's so easy to reach for the sugar. My worst time is about 4pm, I try to take fruit in so I can have something sweet but unrefined. I usually fail miserably though but stress has paid a major part in that this year!

jellypi3 · 26/03/2015 22:30

would I'm only going no carbs for evening meals but so far it's ok. I'm hungrier than usual after dinner but not too bad. I literally had half a brocolli and a pak choi stem to my self though but I don't think you can really overdo it on green veg??

fallenstar27 · 26/03/2015 22:30

If it help you feel better ain, I'm having a fish finger sandwich for dinner at 10.30pm..... :/

lildottie · 26/03/2015 22:46

ain I try and keep my freezer stocked for days when I know I just won't want to do dinner. things like bolognese, curry and the like. if you know ur expecting a shit day or to get in late you just take it out in the morning, if not that's what microwaves were invented for! seriously though I hope you have a better day tomorrow. I've been off the wagon since mc but this week I've finally got it under control. about to have a baked apple to stave my hunger Hmm

lildottie · 26/03/2015 23:02

tonight my inner child is jumping up and down having a tantrum screaming "when's it going to be my turn, I want a baby". I seriously feel like letting my inner child win and throwing a tantrum!

honeysucklejasmine · 26/03/2015 23:03

A good tantrum is very therapeutic I find!

Hobbit19 · 26/03/2015 23:04

Do it Lil, full on lying on the floor screaming. You will feel better. Shock

lildottie · 26/03/2015 23:09

lol i would if I didn't think dh would section me!

SunshinePickle · 26/03/2015 23:11

I need a hooyah. I thought the jam on my boot today has brought me such good luck that I should POAS and I got a stupid bfn. Stupid not-so-lucky jam on my boot.

I'm a bit intimidated by all of the wonderful healthy eating going on. Maybe I need to step my game up?

honeysucklejasmine · 26/03/2015 23:27

Sunshine how many dpo are you?

lildottie · 26/03/2015 23:31

forget dpo, sunshine I'm sending you a massive HOOYA for not waiting for the unicorn!

gaggiagirl · 26/03/2015 23:42

Love the name change tink!
Goes back to crafty lurking..........mwa ha ha!

WouldRatherHaveWine · 27/03/2015 00:00

jelly I bet you far like a trooper!!

honey I converted a couple of months ago as DS all of a sudden started reacting to disposables, ruddy wish I'd done it from the start! I'm very loyal to my pop ins - best by far for us as he's slender but tall and they have a double gusset on the leg so brilliant fit. But I have miosolo, milovia, totsbots, tjs and little blooms. Going to get some newborn little joey for the next when I do eventually get up duffed!

lil I font know about you but it feels good to know that everyone here understand the moodiness and it's okay to admit that you're pissed!

I will totally give myself away now if she ever reads this, but my best friend and I were 2 weeks apart in conceiving. She's 22w now so I feel very bitter and tantrum-y knowing I would be half way through this week.

pickle no need to feel intimidated if you sit next to me my lovely, I ate a double cheeseburger with chips, and half a tonne of popcorn tonight Blush

WouldRatherHaveWine · 27/03/2015 00:02

Look at all those spelling mistakes! Jelly that was meant to say fart

honeysucklejasmine · 27/03/2015 07:15

Wine I have only really seen totsbots in use, which I love. I definitely am a shaped girl... No way am I folding etc. And much prefer Velcro to endless bloody poppers. I think I'd prob use disposables at first then totsbots. But cloth for sure... They are so cute and we are cheap skates!

Also, my bff is due in two weeks and I was four weeks behind her. So I know how you feel!

LaLaLaaaa · 27/03/2015 07:34

Hello! You guys talk so fast so I can't catch up!

But saw totally say she doesn't believe in ib. I had ib both times - first was heavy and red I thought it was af so put tampon in. It lasted a day. 2nd time was pink and spotting and last 1-2 days. Both were around 9-10dpo mark.

Gx totally!!!

Looking forward to pee party - who's in it?

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 27/03/2015 07:43

I'm still in for the pee party at the moment. AF due Monday but gonna wait till weds to POAS should I be so lucky

I was surprisingly unfarty last night would. I do love green veg, so really enjoyed my dinner! Think DP is cooking a pie for dinner today so can't go carb free with that. But won't have chips or mash with it.

Temp dropped back to 36.6 today, but I did take it at 4:00am. I might set my alarm to go off at 4:00 instead of 5:00 next month because I always wake up before it goes off.

nightandthelight · 27/03/2015 08:09

Ooh talk of cloth nappies! I am really keen to use them (you know when I actually have a baby not for myself!) but am a bit scared of the work involved. Presumably they aren't that bad if you love them?

TotallyAnonymousUsername · 27/03/2015 08:17

Argh I just lost a really long message. Short version is ain go harass a doc until they do something, sunshine how many dpo?, I don't diet because I get obsessive, and I hated cloth nappies. And please can someone tell me what the hell my chart is doing, it just moved icing back from cd18 with solid lines to this

We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!
lildottie · 27/03/2015 08:21

totally I'd ignore the change. its clearly stupid! lol

Tinkfromlovejoy · 27/03/2015 08:22

Mother fucking bfn! Was a digi (all I had) fmu, cd33 of a 28 day cycle. Sad I'm with you on the tantrum. Where is that red faced witch though? And why do I have ewcm? Have I just missed a period and am I now on cd5?

lildottie · 27/03/2015 08:47

digis are 25iu tink so not very sensitive. what do now? and don't forget you don't actually know when u iced so you may have iced later than I think or not at all. its normal to have 2 annovulatory cycles a year. why not wait until Wednesday for the poas party. Thanks