Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!

999 replies

LaLaLaaaa · 17/03/2015 19:02

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 40 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2320175-Lifes-a-bitch-but-we-keep-on-shagging-Weve-stocked-up-on-gin-and-pics-of-cats-If-your-Miroid-cant-give-you-the-big-O-then-LTB-and-come-join-us-50-shades-got-nothing-on-us-Its-JSing-40?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2322010-Calmly-and-regally-gestating-our-beans-in-a-land-of-obsessive-ILs-placenta-horticulture-sweary-doctors-and-naked-pancake-cravings-Its-the-JS-grads-thread-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
jellypi3 · 23/03/2015 17:09

well viroids i'm definitely feeling crampy today! feel like i really need to fart! joy of it, especially as i need to squeeze in to my fat busting pants when i get home and try on wedding dresses!

tink did you POAS?

WouldRatherHaveWine · 23/03/2015 18:01

We need a positive over here!

jellypi3 · 23/03/2015 18:35

Yes wedo

mountaingirl01 · 23/03/2015 18:45

tink I'm giving you a hooyah and then I'm giving myself one because I'm getting excited for you.

jelly def not an age or marriage thing, my 28yo dh is like a 16yo boy, I only have to kiss him for him to think game on!

Poas I am no one to talk (I thought I was 9dpo when I tested with this one) but honestly I say wait if you can. Getting a bfp at less than 3 weeks = even more agonising and longer wait to 12 weeks.

lildottie · 23/03/2015 19:18

evening viroids. I read up earlier and now can't remember what I read. I blame the fact I haven't had dinner yet. but hooyas all round for good measure.

tink I wouldn't test until latest possible 15dpo date based on the later icing, but that's just me.

WouldRatherHaveWine · 23/03/2015 20:17

When I was pregnant last time I tested 2 days before AF and was negative. So I went out and drank wine. The day AF was due got a positive pretty much straight away. So now I never test until AF is due. But I'm an addict and tend to pee daily!

theartistformerlyknownasTink · 23/03/2015 20:18

BFN on a digi Sad DH could only get Boots own or a digi so he got the digi. It said on it you can use it any time of day from after when AF is due so I thought fuck it and now wish I'd waited. There's another one in the box so if AF doesn't arrive by the weekend i'll try again. Kind of resigned to being out now though. Why should this month should be any different from the last 6 years? Wink

On the plus side we had taco's for tea - yum! And we've just booked a holibobs for June to Greece Smile

I think I'm going to bow out of ttc after this cycle. Its been too long and I need to move on. We need 6 months not ttc before our LA will consider us for adoption so I think we're going to get on with that! We never seem to get anywhere with diagnosis and help from the NHS and I'm such a whimp about medical thingemebobs I never chase them up. (still no follow up from January referral). It just feels like the right thing to do now. I think.. Smile

jellypi3 · 23/03/2015 20:44

Aww tink I've still got my gingers crossed for you! Why does LA need 6 months no TTC for adoption?

My nipples are on fire today! Also found a dress I like but cost a fortune. Also still bloated. I hate icing :(

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 23/03/2015 21:06

Hello everyone! Gosh you guys have been busy. GX for you Tink. Also, adoption is a great idea. My DSD is adopted and I couldn't imagine our family without her.

Not that I am sure, but in theory I should ice this week. I am working on the EOD plan. It is great fun Grin

WouldRatherHaveWine · 23/03/2015 21:08

GX here too tink!

Ainat266 · 23/03/2015 21:29

I can't remember who mentioned it earlier... But I agree with the DH in a suit thing. Wink

Tink why does the LA need 6 months of not ttc? Is it in case you suddenly get pg in the run up to adoption and back out because of it? Or something like that?

Yay for finding a dress you like Jelly. What kind of dress is it?

I'm not even going to pretend to join in on the cycle length chat! Haha. Though I have had some fanjo twinges today. Really considering trying out some cinnamon to help regulate blood sugar levels to see if it helps.

I had a counselling session today. That's 3 now. And they are helping. I feel a bit weird though as I know that this can't be a long term thing. Not with this lady anyway, due to what her actual job is (she's linked to my school - does counselling for the children and is able to do some staff sessions here and there, but ultimately she's there for the kids not for the adults). I can't see her for the next two weeks anyway as the school holidays are coming up...

theartistformerlyknownasTink · 23/03/2015 21:39

Most LA's need 6mths to a year signed off by a GP so you have had time to recover, grieve if necessary etc. Also in case you get up the duff and back out. I've heard rumours of them asking for Pill prescriptions if you are fertile Shock Not sure how true that is...

Jelly link us the dress, or show us a pic? Pretty please?

Ain glad the counselling is helping, can she recommend someone to take over? Also, what does cinnamon do?

lildottie · 23/03/2015 22:02

ha pill prescriptions! ridiculous, what's to say you are actually taking it and not flushing it! and how do they even know if ur having sex - that's legitimate contraception, the not doing it I mean! really have gx for you that this is it, but I know what you mean about feeling why should this cycle be any different. I'm already on the verge of giving up after 2years and 4.5 months
take my hat off to you on the adoption though, I'm not sure if I could do it or not. dh isn't 100% sold either. but I think we will seriously consider it if the next ivf doesn't work. I'd have to adopt a baby though or I don't think they'd ever feel like mine.

hoping my body is starting to think about doing something as there are some minor twinges on the right side always the bloody right, never left! think the left one is lazy! but who knows! cd33 today and ff says AF due tomorrow..... I think not!

SunshinePickle · 23/03/2015 22:18

Im having such an angry day. Not only did I get inadvertently exposed to about 5 X-rays today at work, I've just come home to a letter from the gynaecologist who did an operation on me 6 months ago. It turns out the funny looking tumour she removed from my ovary was benign... would have been nice if she would have bloody told me that she removed a tumour not a simple cyst. Also 6 months to find out? What?!

Fuming does not come close to my mood.

lildottie · 23/03/2015 23:21

sunshine that's awful! if I were you I'd be making a complaint! one can only hope the letter would've been far quicker had it not been benign!

honeysucklejasmine · 24/03/2015 00:07

Oh my gosh Sunshine! What a way to find out!

What do you do for work? Radiographer?

WouldRatherHaveWine · 24/03/2015 00:41

Sunshine I would be going mental! You should contact PALS ASAP.

SunshinePickle · 24/03/2015 06:41

Honey I'm a doctor. Couldn't leave a patient while loads of people were xrayed in the room. Today I'm going to jump up & down until I get a lead gown.

Definitely going to write a letter to PALS. Worried about it being awkward though as I'm potentially going back to work in that hospital from September!

LaLaLaaaa · 24/03/2015 07:15

Morning viroids!

Sunshine that's horrendous! I hope you kick up a big stink and get your point heard. Both of those things are unacceptable. Glad tumour was benign but you should definitely have been told.

Tink I would test when late definitely - both times I got bfn and then bfp the day after so 1 day can make all the difference.

My nephew is adopted and is so loved, he looks like my dsil everyone thinks he's hers even though she's his stepmum :)

Lil mi friends conceived successful ivf after 3 cycles and another 7 cycles. It was such a hard time for them but they got there. I have every faith you will too x

OP posts:
LaLaLaaaa · 24/03/2015 07:17

Ainat have you heard of agnus castus? It is meant to help bring on absent cycle. I didn't end up using it as mine finally arrived after 4 months but ice heard it can help

OP posts:
LaLaLaaaa · 24/03/2015 07:18

Oh and digis are shite - ic or frer if you can. Failing that super drug own brand

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 24/03/2015 07:30

Morning viroids!

sunshine that's shit. Hope you are ok x

lil mine is always the right too! How weird!!

I'll try and find a pic later for you ladies of the dress :) not sure I'll get that one though.

FF decided this morning that I DID ice on Friday and now my chart looks a lot better! So yay for that! Now 4 DPO!

We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!
LaLaLaaaa · 24/03/2015 07:33

Yay to dress and icing jelly!

OP posts:
CountryGal4 · 24/03/2015 07:35

Well jelly looks better than mine. New to temping and so far my temps look bonkers. Suppose they match my bonkers fanny!

We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!
honeysucklejasmine · 24/03/2015 07:55

Yay Jelly! We're perfectly in Sync now. If only our lp matched too. Mine is 12 days normally.