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Conception

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We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!

999 replies

LaLaLaaaa · 17/03/2015 19:02

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 40 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2320175-Lifes-a-bitch-but-we-keep-on-shagging-Weve-stocked-up-on-gin-and-pics-of-cats-If-your-Miroid-cant-give-you-the-big-O-then-LTB-and-come-join-us-50-shades-got-nothing-on-us-Its-JSing-40?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2322010-Calmly-and-regally-gestating-our-beans-in-a-land-of-obsessive-ILs-placenta-horticulture-sweary-doctors-and-naked-pancake-cravings-Its-the-JS-grads-thread-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
Ellabella1 · 20/03/2015 08:19

Morning day 2 of the witch. Don't feel sad just really pissed off with her. Plan this month is to just shag every single day. That should do it eh!!

justtheonethen · 20/03/2015 08:45

Well i'm going for injections into my facet joints today. Trying to get dp to shag me before as won't want to later!

jellypi3 · 20/03/2015 09:01

totally im CD16 today :)

just whats the injection for?

justtheonethen · 20/03/2015 09:16

Hurt my back in a car accident a few years ago, this is the latest in a long line of back treatments. I'm hopeful this actually works.

Reckon I'll sound like too much of a twat if I ask if it will affect ttc? I'm due to ovulate Sunday. My Google research seems to say only reason not to have pregnant is because it is done under xray so should be okay. Also would ideally like back better before i get pregnant as I dont think ill cope with extra weight on it.

Just dtd pumps fist

jellypi3 · 20/03/2015 09:24

go you just :D sorry to hear about the car accident, gx the treatment works!

Jcandy · 20/03/2015 10:10

Haha totally I think lemon was also 2dpo when she POAS ridiculously early, but then she also knew that was the case so I don't think you're that bad Smile

Loved the eclipse, anyone else? probably ruined my eyes

We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!
We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!
Jcandy · 20/03/2015 10:13

Just realised with those pics it's like looking for a different type of line than usual but I'm sure you viroids have honed your skills enough to spot the eclipse!

justtheonethen · 20/03/2015 10:33

Ooh that's good, too cloudy here to see anything

jellypi3 · 20/03/2015 10:36

looks brilliant JC. It was so cloudy in london we didn't see anything. It just got really dark like it was about to rain then got light again!!!

honeysucklejasmine · 20/03/2015 10:53

Ooh, will look in to that Totally.

Dh doesn't think he can DTD tonight. Sad face! He promised sat morning instead.

Maybe I can persuade him to get a takeaway tonight to make up for it. Wink

jellypi3 · 20/03/2015 11:03

ahhh i want takeaway now!!!!!!!!!! although i'm going to a nice steak resturant for lunch so can't complain eh!

5hell · 20/03/2015 11:51

mmmm takeaway...mmm steak!

staying at friends this weeknd so only quick n quiet JSing for us, tho at CD17 i guess i'm prob past icing anyway (for all i know!). might try to pop the cape on before we leave :)

jellypi3 · 20/03/2015 12:01

5hell remember that although icing on CD14 is condiered "normal", it's also norma to ice on CD10,11,12,13,14 or 17,18,19,20 etc. There's no real normal time to ice, it's the time after icing that counts :)

5hell · 20/03/2015 12:27

thanks jel in that case i shall keep DH busy

i'm still a novice at this and fairly void of symptoms of any kind, so flying blind really the ferning microscope i totally havn't bought on amazon definitely wont help!

CarrotPuff · 20/03/2015 14:16

That's a good picture, candy, we had overcast here so I wasn't even able to tell which direction sun was at all.

AF has left so I jumped on DP yesterday. It was only CD6 but you never know! Planned to jump on him today too, but I had a horrendously upset stomach this morning, so not sure how that will go!

Can't remember who it was with constipation upfred, but I would suggest whoever has it try to find out what works for you to shift it now. Constipation is a way too common symptom that no one talks about when pg. Sorry if you already knew that!

Also regarding splashes on the loo... If you put a bit of folded loo roll into the toilet just before... erm... the grape falls, it normally prevents the splash. The paper has to cover the water though, so you might need a bit of practise Wink Works not only with constipation!

honeysucklejasmine · 20/03/2015 15:45

Afternoon all! What a beautiful day! Wish I had a decent sun lounger or something. It's lovely here!

Saw bugger all of the eclipse. My student wasn't interested either!

Jcandy · 20/03/2015 16:16

The eclipse made me cry! Though do think I'm generally very emotional at the moment.....

Dp and I have spent the day in the garden. It's looking a lot tidier now. Planning to paint the fence tomorrow. I've loved that we've been so productive, the beautiful day definitely helps! Maybe this is my turning point

honeysucklejasmine · 20/03/2015 16:33

Fantastic JC! That's great! We desperately need to paint the fence and I guess before the plants start growing is a good time. But we have horizontal slats and I am scared of paint dripping through to next door!

jellypi3 · 20/03/2015 17:19

wow carrot you are certainly knowedgable about all things poop Wink

Jcandy · 20/03/2015 17:27

Yeah I'm worried about that too! We've not painted it since we moved in last year, it looks like it's never been done! I'm just gonna do it and hope for the best Grin

honeysucklejasmine · 20/03/2015 17:47

My fence has never been painted! I bought the house new 6 years ago! Blush

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 20/03/2015 17:57

ConfusedConfusedGood evening viroids. Am currently on day 6 of DD's quarantine. Doc says virus so not much to be done but keep the fluids, ice cream, and jelly coming. She isn't sleeping at night so basically a zombie and have been in my pjs all week. Don't fancy my prospects for seducing DP but only on CD6 so perhaps things will take an upturn in time for my icing- not that I know when that is!

Well done J for staying so upbeat and getting stuff done Smile

justtheonethen · 20/03/2015 17:58

So i have found our flowers viroids. Hanging naked man orchid.

We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!
honeysucklejasmine · 20/03/2015 18:03

Oh my god Just! What the hell?! What are they?!

My FIL used to breed orchids. Don't think he'd have those though!

justtheonethen · 20/03/2015 18:07

Just saw them on fb. They are real apparently! Orchid breeder?perhaps you have some tips on how to not kill every orchid ive ever had!