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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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12
jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 08:27

No idea? I guess soon? When was the first day of your last period, that will tell you how many week you are and your due date. I guess then you can call the docs and say "hi I'm 5 weeks uppeth the duff"

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auroraboringalis · 04/03/2015 08:27

lemon you sneaky wench! Congratufuckinglations!!!!!!!!!

Indigoblue2 · 04/03/2015 08:42

lemon congrats!! Brilliant news, I'm really chuffed for you. Looking forward to seeing you on the grads ThanksThanksThanks

auroraboringalis · 04/03/2015 08:45

I saw the gp at seven weeks. Cos I didn't know any earlier. Hah! This time I'm planning on being there at 7dpo when I get a really early bfp No harm in doing it soon, no harm in waiting a bit either. Unless you have some blood condition to consider or you are rh-negative as they need to schedule tests for that to check if the foetus is positive and you need some drugs to keep your body misreading it later on. Then go a bit sooner. :)

honeysucklejasmine · 04/03/2015 08:55

Gosh, we need to update the Facebook page sticky again! Sooo many grads!

Pisghetti · 04/03/2015 09:02

Nice one Lemon!

jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 09:08

yeah we need to update it honey. So many people we don't see anymore too. Pooch, Tink :( Miss you guys!

I could have sworn i felt AF start on the train but got to work and she's not here still. DP is getting excited because I'm due today but I keep telling him to stop getting excited. I'm not getting cramps or backache yet but I can feel something down there (excess CM I'm guessing).

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jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 09:24

Question: If AF starts today (9DPO) is my LP 9 days or 8 days?

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ChatEnOeuf · 04/03/2015 09:25

Lemon you beauty! Congrats Grin

gaggiagirl · 04/03/2015 09:29

lemon you may as well call the gp today to find out how to get a ref to the midwife.
I have seen/spoken to no medical person and I'm 9 wks tomorrow. I'll have given birth before I see anyone.

ZylaB · 04/03/2015 09:32

Grats lemon :)

auroraboringalis · 04/03/2015 09:36

I'm 4dpo (on the revised schedule now based on pos opk I obviously never took because it's contraband). can I test yet please?

Fuckityboo.

jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 09:38

put the pissy sticks down aur. DP was trying to tempt me this morning at 9DPO, but I resisted. I will wait until Monday which won't happen because I am sure I can feel the witch leaking out of me as I type

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auroraboringalis · 04/03/2015 09:42

I don't even have any pissy sticks! Sad

CountryGal4 · 04/03/2015 09:42

Aurora we are pissy palls. 4dpo sucks balls!!!

Step away from the sticks!!

Jcandy · 04/03/2015 10:07

Congratulations lemon beautiful line Grin

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 04/03/2015 10:09

Ahhh congrats Lemon that made my morning. GX for Jelly

Copper coil comes our

jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 10:14

yay for starting ttc sky :)

i think my body heard me earlier. Back pain has started :(

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SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 04/03/2015 10:14

Out tomorrow. See even my phone is excited.Blush

jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 10:53

haha love excited phone :D

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auroraboringalis · 04/03/2015 11:17

^does a pissy jig with country*

Grin
auroraboringalis · 04/03/2015 11:18

So much for italics and bold. Hmm

auroraboringalis · 04/03/2015 11:20

country can we like flick each other's ears or something every day to hold out testing? I was planning on poas on the ides of March, but will really need some booyahs to keep to the plan!

auroraboringalis · 04/03/2015 11:21

jelly you mean AF?

jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 11:30

no AF yet aur but getting back pain and twinges which I hadn't had up until now, and they are sure fire signs of the witch coming for me.

I've decided I'm going to give Soy a go for a month or two. I'm still not convinced I am icing properly, and if Soy doesn't help I'll try b6 complex for LP lenghtening. If that fails, well I'll go to the docs and lie tell him how long I have been trying and plead for tests.

DP wants to go private to get tests done for him but I am certain you need a referral for private (plus its bloody expensive)

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