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Conception

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Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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Thread gallery
12
CountryGal4 · 04/03/2015 11:30

Yes wonderful idea as I have all the pissy sticks in the cupboard. Was planning on 14th personally.

auroraboringalis · 04/03/2015 13:12

Hurray for mutual piss ups pissings. Grin
Soy eh jelly. Sounds awfully science-like? Grin I have used b6 this cycle to see if I can go from 5 day lp to something sustaining a bean. my taking b6 is not at all sciencey because I bought it from a health shop and not a pharmacy and as we all know health shops don't have a fucking clue about actual science and medicine. But maybe soy is next up. Maybe I'll just eat lots of spinach. Can only be good for you.

jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 13:35

well i'm not 100% convinced i'll take the soy. My fear is it can majorly fuck up a cycle which I am worried about because mine are settling down a bit, but I am also just so frustrated that my LP seems so short (although 5 days is super short Aur).

I'll probably NOT buy the soy this month and do it next month. I would feel less pressure if DP would stop nagging me about it!

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CountryGal4 · 04/03/2015 13:40

Tell dp to grow his own fanjo and cook a baby or shut the crap up

jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 13:50

haha i did but he doesn't shut up!!! ever!!!

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auroraboringalis · 04/03/2015 15:04

Fyi radio4 now on your employment rights as expectant parent. So most of us don't have our bfps yet but obviously we're all getting them in the next two months, so very relevant!

jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 15:41

I think i've just had my sure fire sign that AF is coming, I always get a spot of EWCM before the witch arrives.

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honeysucklejasmine · 04/03/2015 16:14

Just had a case of wine delivered. Now, to fit it on the rack! Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine

jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 16:20

a case of wine? awefully flash that

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Hobbit19 · 04/03/2015 16:22

SHIT THE ACTUAL BED LEMON!!!! Congratumalations!! So exciting!!

Boo Jelly, AF needs to stay away for you! I think you are right though that the body is sorting itself out and is getting there in it's own sweet time. (You may have to remind me of this in return at some point!)

Yey for wine deliveries Honey. I find that if it doesn't all fit on the rack then it is best just to drink the remaining bottles all at once.

Lemondrizzletwunt · 04/03/2015 16:35

Thanks Pud!

Oooh Honey I'm jealous! Ours is looking a little forlorn but there's no point us topping it up now Wink

Jelly I am sending you pregnant patronus thoughts to scare away your AF dementor Grin

jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 16:40

haha thanks for the geeky HP reference lemon :) Are you and DH going to celebrate at all? Has it sunk in yet?

Thanks Pud i'm just a bit deflated this month because we put a lot of effort in this time round. I keep using the excuse of "only just come off Depo, give it time" but how long can I really say that for? I want to give Soy a go but I'm just nervous it will put me back a step.

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Jcandy · 04/03/2015 16:45

Hahahaha! Needed that after the day I've had, thanks lemon!

Not out till witch jelly!

Bit of pmt over here. Nearly cried over something really stupid at work. At 9dpo who knows what it means! Need to find a way of stealth getting rid of my unicorn each morning now before my brain realises what it is and suggests pissing on sticks way too early!!! Any ideas?

gaggiagirl · 04/03/2015 16:46

jelly give it a few more months. You did just come off depo!
And if your miroid still wants to get on your case then he can of course pay for fertility investigations privately.

Jcandy · 04/03/2015 16:48

Ok jelly so how long did it take for AF to return and how long has it been since then? I think it might be too soon to start stuff yet when everything is still only settling down. Tell your miroid to chill out!

jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 16:49

omg lemon that thread, and that picture of the cat!!

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jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 16:52

AF came back in October, it pretty much settled down straight away (as in I had one random short cycle and the rest have been 28,27 or 26 days).

Temps have confirmed icing past two months with short LP last month (8 days) and if AF shows up today / tomorrow then 9 day LP this month.

I just feel like I'm leeting the Miroid down a bit, he really wants a family. He even wants to buy those home sperm test ktis but I told him they were a waste of £30!

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Lemondrizzletwunt · 04/03/2015 16:54

It's just marvellous, isn't it? Do you think it's too short to nominate for classics?

We are going to celebrate, but more as it's his birthday than anything else. I'm still very aware that ¼ pregnancies at this stage end, so I'm trying to remain calm, but that's easier said than done. My sister and her DP are coming over tonight and we're all going out for dinner. I've told them already so we can have a good joint celebration tonight!

Stoatystoat · 04/03/2015 16:57

I love that thread with the cat. I've never cared for cats on the internet but since life went shit, they are appealing to me.

I'm in a vile mood. The only people I've got much time for are DH and my counsellor. Everyone else can bugger off.

I hate that this is not over and it feels like I'll never get to try again because I,m just going to be pregnant with this not-baby forever. It's crap. Sorry to whinging. It's doing my head in.

jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 16:57

Ah that's nice. Don't think about the stats, just think about the ickle bean inside you now.

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honeysucklejasmine · 04/03/2015 17:24

Lemon i totally missed the word "celebrate" when i read this... I've told them already so we can have a good joint celebration tonight! I was Shock

Stoat you are fully entitled to rage. Time always slows down when things go wrong, doesn't it? So unfair! Sad

Hobbit19 · 04/03/2015 17:28

Yes to ridiculous cat things on the Internet, especially if you are feeling down Stoat, kitten videos are like antidepressants to me, got to have my dose every day.

The cat/sock/bleach thread is amazing!

Stoatystoat · 04/03/2015 17:30

I meant to say congrats lemon - I'm suited for you. Sorry I missed it, this mc is making me a baaaaad friend

I've got a Talking Tom on my iPad as nephew loves it, I'm getting unreasonable joy from it.

jellypi3 · 04/03/2015 19:08

I love that talking tom!

So who is next to test? We need more BFP's!!

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