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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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Thread gallery
12
jellypi3 · 16/03/2015 07:03

Morning viroids.

ain I would be wary of taking soy if AF hasn't come back. You are supposed to take it for 5 days at the start of your cycle or it can delay ovulation. Although I agree with lil'in that a bit of research can't hurt.

Used my new buzzy friend last night. Fuck me it was strong. It was a quick session last night lol.

Really not in the mood for work this week. Although been really unfocused on TTC, I don't even know what CD i am! (Could look at FF ofc). Still temping but not fussed if I miss a day. What's happening to me?!?

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honeysucklejasmine · 16/03/2015 07:51

Jelly you are becoming a shagger! I too have forgotten what CD I am! No EWCM yet so no worries! temp is stable at pre ice levels too

Eugh, work. I've got a hole in my day now as I've moved a client's time, so I will need to go home in between. Oh wells.

lildottie · 16/03/2015 08:07

morning. I too am forgetting what CD I'm on. cd26 according to ff. not a drop of ewcm in sight. I'm bored of the wtf cycle now!
also just got on the scales. I need to lose a stone. diet restarts today! life is cruel!

nightandthelight · 16/03/2015 08:38

Sorry for the quiet, decided to take a weekend off MN! Any exciting news in my absence? I might be experiencing an implantation bleed but really not sure! Very light brown spotting yesterday and more this morning. AF not due till Thursday and that usually starts as a red gush not brown spotting. Don't want to get hopes up though.

Jcandy · 16/03/2015 09:52

Sounds interesting night....... Gx

Well I know I'm on cd11 but FF thinks I've already iced! It thinks I iced on cd8! Only just starting to get cm so think it's completely wrong!

jellypi3 · 16/03/2015 11:38

Why does it think you iced to early jc? Temps?

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auroraboringalis · 16/03/2015 12:04

I agree with Lil's research comment. I'm actually not a fan of "natural remedies" just give the effing drugs for this migraine already! and I would definitely not take it if my cycle was relatively predictable and I knew I was ovulating.
Shaggity shag. Time for sexy stuff! Who is joining me tonight then?

Jcandy · 16/03/2015 12:07

Yep here's my chart I just think it's my body playing games and not knowing what it's supposed to be doing. Temps are pretty high even when low if you see what I mean.....

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!
jellypi3 · 16/03/2015 13:20

very weird jc, your temps are high although i know it varys person to person. gx it sorts itself out.

Is there any downside to shagging every day of your "fertile phase"? DP and I do EOD wit the odd extra day thrown in but would it be that bad if we did every day for the 4 fertile days plus icing day?

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nightandthelight · 16/03/2015 13:22

The most up to date research suggests that as long as your DH has a normal sperm count then every day actually improves sperm quality jelly :)

jellypi3 · 16/03/2015 13:24

well i have no idea about DP's soldier count but as we are assuming it's normal we will go for it! :D

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nightandthelight · 16/03/2015 13:26

Get shagging jelly!

jellypi3 · 16/03/2015 13:44

I will :D (though not right now, don't think work would approve)

I've been having very strangle womble feelings today, nothing icing related as it's 5 days till i'm due to ice, it feels like someone punched me in the gut!

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fallenstar27 · 16/03/2015 13:49

Well, af is gone so I guess we're now officially ttc! Although we have a gig tonight so our JSing debut will have to wait til tomorrow.

Anyone else had trouble with headaches on prenatal multivitamins? I'm generally quite a headache-y person and do suffer from migraines. But I've had a headache every day since starting these folic acid/iron/vit d pills :/

What night said jelly, get shagging!

jellypi3 · 16/03/2015 14:02

are you taking them on an empty stomach fallen? i know DP and I get nauseous if we take ours on empty stomachs (although now we've switched to vit C and folic acid for me, and zinc for him so not so bad).

good luck on your first TTC shag! exciting stuff!! :)

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fallenstar27 · 16/03/2015 14:16

Nah jelly I had read that can happen so I take them with dinner, and it's not until next afternoon I get a headache. Strange. Will ask doctors next time I'm there.

jellypi3 · 16/03/2015 15:06

we're going to need a new fred soon viroiwho's doing the next one (not me, i make unlucky freds except for lemon)

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MyBlackCat · 16/03/2015 15:17

AF due today but may have iced a day or two later in which case it wasn't but no appearance so far. I'm on holiday at moment skiing, I am absolutely exhausted which I'm sure is nothing to do with skiing 40km today Grin I'm not testing! I'm going to wait it out...

jellypi3 · 16/03/2015 15:28

are you next to test black??

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nightandthelight · 16/03/2015 15:35

Ooh sounds promising black when will you be testing? I am testing on Friday :) Feeling cautiously optimistic as I do think this is an implantation bleed.

MyBlackCat · 16/03/2015 15:40

I'm not optimistic night but sounds good for you! won't test til I'm home on Saturday, think I may have iced a day later this month so the witch will prob arrive tomorrow - she's just playing me

nightandthelight · 16/03/2015 15:45

Fx she doesn't make an appearance black!

Jcandy · 16/03/2015 16:27

GX night and black!

Been to see my gp today. He was really nice. Referral made to counselling but it could take 2 months for that to come through. He said I should seriously consider ad's but I still don't want to take them at the moment. Going to go back in a month if I've not got any better

fallenstar27 · 16/03/2015 17:01

That's good candy, two ninth wait isn't ideal but at least something is happening and you know the option of ad's is there if things change before your referral comes through.

gx for you both black and night, enjoy the rest of your holiday black.

Just called dr to book a smear and they offered one either on my birthday or over a month away. Told her the only person I want rummaging down there on my birthday is DH, she laughed a lot. Also said to try come in on my day off to speak to Dr about headaches.

Hobbit19 · 16/03/2015 17:14

Jelly I think we are synced so believe you are CD 12. Who needs FF when you have creepy mner friends who know what day of your cycle you are onme?! Smile Although you will get AF BFP in 2 weeks and I will have another 3 weeks to wait, gah. Cervix still low so looks like another long cycle for me. Yawn.

In other news: I just had to launch myself off the toilet mid wee (thank god for my pelvic floor) to stop big cat jumping out of the second story bathroom window. Stupid animal.

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