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Conception

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Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Muppet75 · 12/03/2015 14:59

Where are you going niff, anywhere sunny?

Muppet75 · 12/03/2015 15:01

It will be be very hard goodness but totally worthy in the end :)

fallenstar27 · 12/03/2015 15:03

Nah I'm central Scotland jelly, I just started to question it when I laughed to myself like 'oh wait, maybe it doesn't mean that to everyone else'.

You can do it goodness! No time like the present.

Niffertiti · 12/03/2015 15:04

Haha, maybe I should change my name to muffertiti then... That sounds quite rude too. We're off on a cheap'n'cheerful break to the Med in a couple of months for some serious JSing Wink.

TotallyAnonymousUsername · 12/03/2015 15:46

jelly Yes, an old time js'er here!

niff sorry about the mc. But yay for a sunny holiday Smile

I'm watching obem on catch up while dd has her nap. I'm doing an online course and should be watching this weeks lecture but I'm not feeling very motivated today.

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 12/03/2015 16:10

honey an NHS consultant will tell you that is hooey! I'm afraid you have to go private to get advice about alternative meds to Levo. Wishing you the best of luck with everything.

I'm sorry everyone is having such a crappy time. I've got a migraine from crying. DP seems to have the cold feet ever since I lost the BC. I know that is probably normal but he wants another child so badly that I didn't see it coming at all and I feel foolish and a little devastated. AF definitely in the mail as cramps and sore breasts not to mention a hair trigger for the tears... Cried at a birthday card today. Trying not to make decisions about whether or not to keep ttc unrtil after AF and hope

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 12/03/2015 16:13
  • hoping by the time AF is over DP will have gotten over the shock of it being 'real'. Not good at waiting though.
honeysucklejasmine · 12/03/2015 17:31

snort muff. Tee her.

jellypi3 · 12/03/2015 17:41

How far back do you go totally? Our old time JS'er is lil :)

OP posts:
lildottie · 12/03/2015 18:49

old timer! thanks jelly! Wink if only I had a dc to show for it like totally!!

lildottie · 12/03/2015 18:51

had a msg tonight from my bff ego knows all about ivf/mc asking if I thought she should have a baby shower before she moves abroad next month. I feel bad but I told her I wouldn't go if she did. not sure what she was thinking asking me! clearly wasn't thinkingSad

honeysucklejasmine · 12/03/2015 19:01

Tbh Lil, it sounds a bit grabby! I am all for baby showers, although I find them hard at the momemt. At least you get to see te kid grow up and use what you got. But to me, that sounds like "can I get loads of presents for a baby you won't see as I am moving away"

honeysucklejasmine · 12/03/2015 19:03

Gah. Got a new phone today and the keyboard is a bit different. Typos ahoy! Going to try some JSing words... Viroids. Icing. Miroid.

Well, I am impressed!

TotallyAnonymousUsername · 12/03/2015 19:53

Argh. I just wrote a long post and my phone crashed and lost it. I think I was before lil. I was the era of 'something' and 'kitten'.

Also boo to lil's insensitive friend. I don't like baby showers at the best of times.

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 12/03/2015 20:00

lil perhaps your friend was worried it would be worse to not invite you or include you? When somebody close to you does something that doesn't make sense it is usually a misguided attempt to 'do the right thing'

jellypi3 · 12/03/2015 20:14

Sorry lil I didn't mean to sound harsh by old timer!! Feel bad now!

And your friend sounds like she wasn't thinking :(

OP posts:
lildottie · 12/03/2015 20:15

I was only joking jelly don't feel bad.

sky an invitation would be fine - asking my opinion on whether to do it is not.

I think it was her dhs idea rather than hers but she is a but grabby and entitled

lildottie · 12/03/2015 20:16

my poor dh tho, its put me in a really down mood again tonight

Hobbit19 · 12/03/2015 20:32

Evening Viroids! Flip are you all synchronising or something? So many AFs, boooo. Hope you are all enjoying plenty of Wine.

Welcome newbies, it's got to have a busy Fred. Let's get shagging and get massively upduffed, wahoo! (That goes for you oldies too, go shag!) DH home late but la cape shall be donned!!

jellypi3 · 12/03/2015 20:47

I doubt I'll be donning the cape tonight :( DP is still suffering with his migraine. I'm about to jump in the tub with a book. He joked he could still shag but I can't even turn my phone on in the room without his head hurting.

Oh well :(

OP posts:
MyBlackCat · 12/03/2015 20:59

Welcome to all the newcomers - I'm beginning to feel like an old timer already. No shagging for me for a week as I am off on holiday Saturday leaving DH at home someone has to stay and feed the cat AF due mon/tue I'm not packing a frer, going to hopefully live in ignorant bliss for a week yeah right

honeysucklejasmine · 12/03/2015 21:05

So, I realised that my next AF is due a few days before my wedding anniversary. So either I'll be in pain, or knocked up. I know which one I would prefer

They say that when girls spend a lot of time together they sync cycles... But over the internet... That's impressive!

Hobbit19 · 12/03/2015 21:23

Don't worry Jelly, you are probs totes full of jizz already knowing you. Grin

CountryGal4 · 12/03/2015 21:24

So 28 41 then 35 day cycles. Who else is in team bonkers fanjo??

honeysucklejasmine · 12/03/2015 21:26

I'm back in slippery fanjo territory if that counts Country?