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Conception

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Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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12
Hobbit19 · 10/03/2015 21:56

I watch one born as an educational tool. Totally shit scared of child birth and a complete control freak so the more I know the better. Planning on being a fully qualified gynae before I actually give birth haha. Couldn't watch it for about 6 months after I saw one where the baby got stuck though. HORRENDOUS. DH is proper squeamish (he passed out in a first aid class, ha ha ha ha ha!) So once I get upduffed I am going to make him watch one born to desensitise him.

Ooh might try the posh cat food. Mine have had the shits on and off since New Year. Have just treated them for giardia (parasite) and that seems to have helped but still not properly fixed, the vet is a bit hopeless tbh! Currently on some pouches from the vets at about £30 a week!!

Niffertiti · 10/03/2015 22:01

Ooh, new one born! My DH does all the crying in our relationship usually, he always has a sly weep when the babies come out... We might have to leave this series for repeats tho otherwise we'll both be in floods.

I'm supposedly almost 8 weeks now, but I've been spotting/bleeding/cramping throughout. Of course I'm devastated but after ttc for 8/9 months, I am pleased to know we can do it even if it didn't work this time. Obviously I would lamp anyone who offered me that as consolation, but I'm allowed to say it to myself.

One thing I would say to all you POAS-addicts: after this, I won't be pissing til I'm late. Really late. Sometimes ignorance is bliss!

justtheonethen · 10/03/2015 22:14

niff so sorry. You sound very positive though.

Ok, so against all advice I dug the frer out the bin and there is now a v faint pink line....this can't be counted can it as it was after the right time. God I'm boring myself, sorry! Hoping the fact I just ate a massive load of Brie has invoked the law of sod!

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!
justtheonethen · 10/03/2015 22:15

Pic would help

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!
Lemondrizzletwunt · 10/03/2015 22:19

Just I don't want to get your hopes up but I am SURE you are still upduffed. The day before I got my BFP I held me wee for 4 hours and then did a 10miU IC and then got nothing. 16 hours later I had a BFP. Unicorn really does make a difference!

Hobbit19 · 10/03/2015 22:19

Do you have another test for the morning Just?

justtheonethen · 10/03/2015 22:22

I do, bought a two pack in anticipation of stupid evening testing.

lildottie · 10/03/2015 22:37

just my frers took a while to come up, and when I did the one that was bfn it was still all but white days later. you may have low hcg levels as AF not due yet. don't test tomorrow if you can help it, you are better off waiting as hcg doubles every 48hours. if you get a stronger line in 2 days that's a good sign.

dh has somehow found his sex drive, he just asked for sex 3 days after our double whammy! think he's determined to get me up the duff. was asking me if I'm going to temp tomorrow.Hmm

justtheonethen · 10/03/2015 22:48

Woohoo for the shag fest lil. V sensible advice, might not be able to stop myself though

honeysucklejasmine · 10/03/2015 22:49

Just I am cautiously optimistic. Grin

gaggiagirl · 10/03/2015 23:23

just don't forget I had a BFP then the next morning with unicorn wee it was a BFN. Then I got a frer which took about an hour to get a bfp, and I'm apparently preggers......still!

lildottie · 10/03/2015 23:32

yep not even her dh believed her eh ga, BTW does he believe you yet Wink

Ainat266 · 10/03/2015 23:51

Hello to newbies. Grin

just I am going to stay cautiously optimistic for you. I can see a line on that frer.. try and leave it tomorrow and test on Thursday or Friday if you can.

jc it sounds like you're going through a tough time. I too have suffered with depression amongst other things in the past and have been on antidepressants. I am currently in the middle of a tough time myself but at least I've recognised this. It sounds like you have too. Try to take any steps you need to now to stop getting fully immersed in the thick black cloud of depression. If I can help in any way please pm me. If you don't want to do that, please know that you are definitely not alone and that I and the other viroids are here for you. X

I have a new phone and it doesn't have my mn words in the predictive text... Sad

jellypi3 · 11/03/2015 07:36

Morning viroids!

A phone without MN words is a travesty!

I forgot to temp again today Angry I'm getting really useless at it. Except this time I managed to turn my alarm off! It's like my body doesn't want me to temp this cycle lol.

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gaggiagirl · 11/03/2015 08:04

Not really lil. He wasn't going to tell his parents because he wanted to see 'whats going on first' well what's going on is that I'm pregnant you dick!
He told his mam about a week ago because I made him. I cant hide my bump its stupidly obvious at this early stage.

lildottie · 11/03/2015 08:35

haha ga that's hilarious! how many wks are u now?

mountaingirl01 · 11/03/2015 08:46

gaggia dh still hasn't told his parents in denial my mum is desperate to ring them!

just I don't want to get your hopes up. But. That is a line dammit! It's pinnk and liney! Frers never have evaps like that. I am looking forward to this mornings.....

mountaingirl01 · 11/03/2015 08:48

And lil please don't beat yourself up for dealing with your mc in your own way Flowers you and stoat are different people.

jellypi3 · 11/03/2015 08:48

ga that's crazy! why doesn't he believe you? how long until your first scan (I assume he will believe it when he see's a baby in there?)

just i'm very excited for you today!!! :D

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5hell · 11/03/2015 09:33

CD7 and 1 shag down :) although I was on top so not optimal for jizz retention!!

Is it wrong that i own zero sticks and haven't even considered buying one?...not very optimistic am I?

where's the best place to get them (for when/if i am ever 'late')? i'd assumed i'd just go to Boots, but is that just the most expensive place?

lildottie · 11/03/2015 09:34

5hell see honey's link further up thread!

I should get out of bed shouldn't I!

jellypi3 · 11/03/2015 11:07

no lil stay in bed! i wish i could!!

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justtheonethen · 11/03/2015 12:17

Resisted testing this morning. No af so far! Fingers crossed

Purpleball · 11/03/2015 12:34

Afternoon viroids, apologies for radio silence, I've been a bit preoccupied.

I've got the NIFTY (Harmony) test results back and everything is fine, I'm very low risk and don't need an amnio. Its a huuuuuge relief as I'm an old bird and I was panicking.
We didn't find out the sex but we could have done which is weird as I'm not 12 weeks yet but I suppose its in the chromosomes (I'm not big on science!)

jellypi3 · 11/03/2015 13:08

oh wow congrats purple :D

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