Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

I must have put something back in the office when I was unpacking from the weekend and had it in my hand but put it down and forgot to move it to bedroom. at least I can temp again now and only missed one day. lol at your cats. cute!

Sorry to the viroids having a crappy time.

So, after yesterday's excitement I'm now wishing I had stuck to the mantra of not testing early. Just got home and took a frer which was a bfn. Gutted. Also feel really crampy now so clearly af going to arrive tomorrow. Just can't believe it, that was definitely a line but frer don't lie!

Oh pants Just, sorry to hear that, it must be really disappointing xxxxx

Jelly, I am proud of you for chilling out this month. And for your epic shagging!

Hello to all newbies! Feel free to talk complete filth the whole time. For example "JIZZ!" Today's introduction to JSing was brought to you by Pud.

JC gosh you do sound really overwhelmed. I know AD really work for some people but they have never agreed with me so I always have to sort myself out by natural means and a little therapy sometimes. Are you sleeping enough? Not getting enough sleep or getting too much will really mess you up... Is your diet balanced and have you had a full blood count recently? I know those things sound really cliche but they work for me. Also, if your GP suggests CBT make sure you find someone you click with. Talking about your problems when youre not comfortable is not ideal. Maybe consider private treatment if you think that might help? You can usually get a feel for the therapist in a consultation. I struggle with feeling depressed a lot but what keeps me going is having a skillset to cope when things go sideways and really paying attention to the things that trigger the spiral. Wishing you all the best lovely.

Oh Just hugs and I hope it was just a broken FRER and that AF will not get you. You are still definitely not our until the bitch arrives, and I'm thinking of you.

JC I was on anti-d's for a long time. FWIW I do think it my situation it would have been better go back on them if I had needed to and keep TTC regardless. As PP have said there are anti-d's that are proven to be safer in pregnancy, and often you can reduce the dose once you get back on an equilibrium. Does it help to talk about it all? And do you know the cause of your depression initially? Thinking of you too, I know just how black the world feels when you're low.

Jcandy sorry to hear you've been there before. I hope your GP is able to help you on Monday. It sounds like you've spotted it coming this time which is really important and means you can start to help yourself and to get help. It's such a horrible thing to have to deal with yourself but I'm sure your DP will do everything he can to help. Sometimes they do need an instruction manual though, which is tricky when you feel like you were issued without one (I certainly didn't come with one).

Thanks to others for the welcomes, I do feel a bit like a creepy lurker I've been hanging out so long around here! I'm more the silent type tho, not much of a chatter. And you lot do chatter! I'll try and be a bit more forthcoming from now on: just waiting for scan on Thursday to confirm what I already know is a MMC, then hopefully (not sure that's the right word...) an ERPC, then I just want to get on with TTC again. Maybe this is denial and it will hit me soon, but I've cried a lot and now I just want to be optimistic and get on with getting a baby.

Thanks everyone. I'm hoping I can do cbt and find a way out and learn how to cope better for next time.

Oh niff I didn't realise you were going through it at the moment how many weeks are you?

Thanks everyone. I'm trying to talk more about it. I'm hoping to be able to do cbt so I can find a way of stopping this in the future as well as getting out of it now. I'm not sleeping that well, waking up quite a lot in the night, sometimes not being able to get back to sleep. Not had bloods recently, will see what my gp says. Don't know exactly what has caused it, just had so much on, feel like I've been fighting so hard and now I just can't anymore.

Oh niff didn't realise you were going through it at the moment. How many weeks are you? So sorry!

just hoping it's just early still and the frer was wrong coz it wasn't your unicorn

Welcome niff sorry to hear you are having a bad time too.

lil I do try to be a good "friend"

Well, that is me done for the day. DD had a 'faceplant on the street screaming like she was being abducted' tantrum today and I fear AF is coming. Going to try to go to sleep before the wallowing starts.

Evening viroids it's been a chatty day and I'm just catching up.

fallen the expensive 100% natural cat food is 'encore' I got the mixed pouches from amazon in bulk, it's looks and smells that good that even I am tempted to eat it. Whiskers etc just looked like shit in comparison.

I echo what lil said up thread about health concerns and ttc. Both me and DH are fit and healthy, regular gym goers, in the lower end of acceptable bmi, we've both run half marathons and eat healthily yet we have been ttc since dec13 with a mc last June. Being fit and healthy does not equal upduffness!

Sorry to all the viroids struggling. I'm 6dpo and stomach achy ness and sore nipples has started just like they did last month so not too hopeful.

Also welcome to the newbies x

Urgh I'm really struggling with my ears at the moment. They are blocked and really sore and itchy. I've been using the olive oil drops but it's really painful :(

Oh god viroids we need some more good news don't we. just sorry it was BFN. How many DPO are you? And did you use unicorn wee?

Ladies! Such lovely, heartfelt posts. I have lots to say back so will try to get on a computer to type rather than my phone. But for now, let me say "I love you all"

I'm 13dpo and no, it was this evening but did hold it for a couple of hours. I feel like crying. Don't know if i should test tomorrow or wait to see if af rears her head. What would you all do?

On expensive cat food....my fiv/diabetic moggy costs me a fortune. He's the best though!

jelly just re-read back - stop all that nonsense about being the 30 side of 20, some of us are just clinging into the 20 side of 30!

I'll have a look black. Aslan eats Purina biscuits for sensative stomach and Gourmet pates so not exactly cheap but at least available at the supermarket.

Oh just that must be difficult, our cat was born with cat flu so has lots of issues too but more manageable that diabetes I think. Then again, DH has type 1! Sorry to hear the frer was a bfn :( I'd probably wait a few days but I think that's far easier for me say since I have only just started.

Welcome newbies!

JC, Stoaty, keep talking. If you feel ADs will help then give them a go - remember they take a few weeks to kick in so sometimes it's best to pre-empt things somewhat. I was on ADs for about 9m following some horrible stuff at work, and probably a touch of undiagnosed PND (masquerading as simple tiredness). I'm very mindful that it could rear it's ugly head again at any time, and pregnancy/AF/TTC hormones are just the ticket it needs sometimes. The black dog video really helped me understand it all a bit better.

Just I'd wait a day or two, personally. Said as a piss-stick waster who prior to meeting this lot used to wait until at least a week late. Still used about six of the buggers before getting a line this time around though (on CD36).

I'm going to try to wait.

Cat is a lot of work/worry but so worth it, he is absolutely my baby!

Anyone else watching one born?

Fallen is cat flu like fiv? Does your cat go out?

My cats gets all these fancy German brands of food that cost me a fortune. They still don't eat half of it the shits.

just I had to Google fiv, no it's not the same. Cat flu is a respiratory infection that is always underlying so can flare up at any time.

Is it a new series of one born? I used to watch before DH got home from work so he wouldn't suspect my broodiness hah!

fallen i too was a secret watcher! Yes new series.

Cats are so fussy aren't they jelly!

jelly my cat never used to eat all of her food, but since I cut her portion sizes on advice of bitch vet she eats everything in sight. Encore pouches supplemented with royal canin dry food which she also loves!

Can't bring myself to watch one born - that goal just seems so far away

Glad it wasn't just me just. I might still have to be, not sure husband would agree to watch until I'm actually closer to that stage, so what you say black is completely understandable.

I like to torture myself