Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Meh, I'm still in bed too.

Struggling atm to be honest. Fell off the wagon a bit with diet due yo boredom but it has turned to comfort/emotional eating due to latest failure. I'm still a stone lighter than when i started but i am 6lbs above my target now. Which leads to anger and shame and defeat and then lots of toast. I need to reinvigorate and get back on the wagon. I know my consultant will bring it up next week so i desperately want to be able to say "I've lost loads, have no fear!". But not feeling it right now. My energy has dipped right down and i need to perk it up again. Bleh.

Sorry for rant. In my head now my failure to conceive is directly proportional to my weight. And i know, sensibly, that it probably is true. And all i have to do is not eat shit and plan meals. Why is that hard? It wasn't hard last month. Now it's impossible. Grr. I need to get out of bed, have a good breakfast and go food shopping for the week. Then stick to it!

I mean 6lbs above projected less target, not final target. try 6st!

honey whilst i know weight is a factor is get upduffed, it's not THE factor is it. Think about how many people who are overweight get pg. My best friends got upduffed first time trying, and she's very overweight. Although it's a good thing you are loosing the weight and being healthier, I don't think it's the be-all and end-all of it! Try and stay positive!

It seems we are all being good js'ers at the moment!

Ha ha yes, that's true, plenty of over weight pregnant people about. Is it odd that sometimes it makes me feel worse, in a "why them not me" way? See, I'm never happy.

Trouble is, i have so much against me...

1. lupus
2. endometriosis
3. hypothyroidism
4. obesity

But of course, #4 in the only one i can change! So really i should stop whining and eat a salad!

I'm in a "woe is me" mood. Can you tell? ;-)

It's fine, I was like that last week just before AF hit. We all go through it. I was looking up the cost of private medical treatment for infertility etc. and needed a good talking to from you viroids (plus a reality check) to stop panicking and just go with it.

I do weirdly feel a lot calmer this month. Almost like I can't be bothered to get stressed, but I still want to get uppeth the duff. I think it's not using the blasted monitor. I genuinely think it's made me a bit mental.

Don't worry about the "woe is me" attitude though. We are all here to get you through it!

Hi all, been lurking here for a while, can I join in?

Muppet
39
DDage 3
TTC since december 2014

Feeling very low atm as my af was 10 days late and had convinced myself that I'd had a baby for my birthday... (I'll be 40 in november :(

Welcome muppet

Well viroids I think I've finally got to the point where I can't cope anymore. Been stupidly stressed for the last I don't know how many months. Had a headache pretty much all the time for the last 5 or so weeks and now I'm just constantly bursting into tears. Got an appointment with my gp on Monday but just don't know what to do. Can't be bothered to do anything, just want to hide in a hole or run away as far as I can to somewhere sunny (only that would take effort to get there so I think I'll choose the hole) I know I need to get myself out of this but I just don't know how

Welcome muppet nice to see some new faces to fill the void the grads have made!

JC I'm sorry you're going through this :( I've never had depression or anything like it so I don't know what to say but I'm thinking of you. I hope the GP can help x

JC it does sound like depression, which can impact fertility. your health is more important than ttc but if they talk about anti D's ask if their are any safe for ttc and explain to stop ttc would only make u feel worse. I didn't take mine when I was prescribed them because we were ttc. my advice would be small targets. for me it was things like "today I'll make sure I fold the washing and take it upstairs" then after a week of little things like that I'd maybe try 2 little things each day. try getting out of the house, a little walk even if just round the block. it gives you time to reflect and put things into perspective. depression feels like everything is 100times worse/more difficult than it actually is and having that time to get out of your surroundings and get some fresh air really does help. I know it will seem like lot of effort but maybe have that as your 1thing to do today for a bit. tbh I think I'm heading for another bout of depression as I am feeling completely unmotivated and unenthusiastic about anything. I know I'm not dealing with the mc, I'm just burying it which isnt good, but sometimes even when you know what you need to do you can't make yourself do it, and that's OK too. just try each day and eventually one day you will do that one thing and it will start moving forward.

oh forgot to say welcome to Muppet - hi!

and to give honey a pep talk to...
dh and I are both perfect bmi's, eat really well (usually) and have no health issues. I was convinced our good health would mean once we were pg that would be it, I never imagined someone healthy like me would mc after what we've been through, that happens to other people. so it just goes to show it means jack shit. and you got pg once despite your weight, it could easily be a problem with dh as much as you so stop beating yourself up. stay in bed and do the shopping online. then you won't be as tempted to buy shit.

and jelly you asked about vits, I take pregnacare. dh took Wellman but. it didn't seen to change anything. if your dh is worried about his fellas get him on 1000mg vit c with zinc and selenium each day. a study has shown massive improvement in sperm within a few months from taking 2000mg vit c per day- consultant told dh to take 1000mg but I've since read the study. it can cause are rain though so I'd stick to 1000mg! I. thinking of taking a high dose of vit c too, its antioxidant so I'm thinking it could help egg quality. I don't think it can hurt.

Thanks Jelly

Thanks lil Yeah I'm scared that it is depression. I've had it before and keep getting times where I slip but this is just going on and on. I'm just sitting at work not doing anything. Tried to do the most important things. I'm so tired when I get home but I'll try and get outside. It's so lovely near me.

thanks lil, he bought some multi vits yesterday but I'll tell him to get vit C and Zinc + Selenium tabs instead :) I'm just taking frolic acid and vit D at the moment, might take vit c as well!

I'm sorry you ladies have suffered from depression before :( It sounds horrible. I hope you're not suffering with it again lil. Has your bracelet arrived yet?

Welcome muppet!

I may have gotten an email this morning from Amazon saying a certain package is winging my way... For a friend, of course.

honey I have hypothyroidism too and no matter what I did or how many salads I ate I stayed overweight and felt so ill in other ways and had a myriad of other health issues until I switched meds. Did you know that Levothyroxine is not the only thing you can take for Hashimoto's? The NHS swears that as long as your TSH is normal you are fine and that is simply not true. This blog has some really interesting and controversial viewpoints. I encourage you to have a look and if you want to know more I can pm you some info for the UK www.stopthethyroidmadness.com otherwise I will leave it be asdon't want to be the boring poster banging on about autoimmine disease all the time!

its a necklace made its way from Monroe to London now jelly and due to arrive here 17th. I'm desperate to get it now. I feel like I've moved on too easily, particularly with poor stoat still struggling so much. but I guess we're all different and it helps I stopped bleeding fairly quickly. I am buck passing rather than sealing with my work though. not a good plan for the long term!

sun is shining here so think I might take my own advice and get out for a walk #selfemploymentrocks

sky your friend is very lucky she has you to order stuff for her

ahh sorry lil i thought it was a bracelet. Not too long until it arrives though!

Hopefully it's a good thing that you are ok with it, I wouldn't know. I imagine some people cope differently to these situations?

Welcome muppet, I'm new too!

I was on microgynon for eight years jelly. I think I'm going to count it as la said just to get familiar with cycles.

I'm definitely going to try and be a good JSer for the first few months and just see what happens with lots of dtd.

Are you planning anything nice for your birthday lil?

planning afternoon tea for all my family and friends fallen so should be good. got to find the good in turning 30!!!

jelly I think mountain bought herself a bracelet so that's probably where the confusion is. mine is a necklace with a gem stone on for each bean, one for edd of October and one for Feb when we lost them. its got a heart on too that says "mummy if angels". I got a long chain so I can wear it hidden.

I'm an intermittent lurker here - I introduced myself way back a few threads ago, then disappeared for a while (plus y'all talk too much and there's always a new thread whenever I check back!), got pg, currently waiting for MMC to be confirmed. Which is rubbish, but not actually what I de-lurked to say...

I've been on anti-depressants for a while, this time is the third time I've been on them and I'm not stopping! I did a lot of research (including talking to someone who works in pharmaceutical industry and has a medical background) before we started TTC and I concluded that for me the risks of not taking them outweigh any potential risks to the potential baby. I figure I'm far more likely to conceive successfully and deal well with a newborn if I'm happy and healthy.

If your doctor suggests trying them, don't rule them out just cos you're TTC. Some are definitely more suitable than others, so discuss it. In my area they seem to prefer sertraline in pregnancy, tho I'm on citalopram, which is also supposed to be better in pg.

Now, if someone could explain to me how it is I can look back at posts whilst typing I'd be most grateful... I was trying to respond to someone in particular here who sounded like they were having a really crap time, but I'm really bad with names...

Jcandy: I'm so sorry, I really am very bad with names. I inherited it from my mother who apparently thinks me, my siblings and the family dog are all interchangeable...

Basically just wanted to say don't rule it out if you are really struggling at the moment just because you're TTC. Even if it's just for a short term hand-up whilst you get yourself back on your feet. Lil's advice sounds like the right starting point but when I read your post it sounded like you know yourself well enough to know when you've done all you can, and if you've made a GP appointment that suggests to me you think you need more help.

Welcome niff. Sorry to hear about your MMC and your depression. Stay and chat with us :) We love lurkers you creepy bastards

lil that sounds lovely. It's my 25th in 2 weeks, i'm just having a get together at my Nan's. It's scary being on the 30 side of 20 (if you know what I mean...)

I'm really sore from my shaggin escapades last night....

Thanks niff I have been on anti d's before, a long time ago now. I haven't got quite to that stage yet but I can feel it coming and I'm scared. I need to break the cycle. The doctors appointment was because of the headaches but I've finally admitted to myself that it's more than that. I feel sorry for dp, he's never seen me like this and he doesn't know what to do

niff sorry to hear about your mmc. good advice for JC there too. I was on citalopram both times I was prescribed ads.

well I didn't go for my walk but did get a good amount of work done which lead to clearing my work desk which lead to me finding my bbt! how the fucknit got on my work desk I'll never know!

Lol random place for it lil. Mine is beside my bed. It's got yeh point where the cats know it is 5:00am by the alarm and me shoving the thermometer in my gob. That's when they come for cuddles lol