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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
nightandthelight · 09/03/2015 20:30

According to Ovia I should also test Wednesday myblack although AF not due till Thursday. What to do?! Have it in my head that I don't want to have to go to work the day after testing so was thinking the Friday evening but not sure I will last that long!

MyBlackCat · 09/03/2015 20:31

Just re-read my last post and it may cause offence. I don't begrudge anyone else pissing on sticks before AF is due, it's just I like to spend my money on other things like ski holidays and expensive 100% natural cat food for my furbaby

CountryGal4 · 09/03/2015 20:34

sky not just me then. In bed already and have eaten everything today :s

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 09/03/2015 20:36

No country not just you! How long have you been ttc? I am in bed too.

jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 20:40

I might take myself to bed. The footie is dull!

cat I feed my cats food that costs more than what I eat half the time lol

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 09/03/2015 20:43

Not at all Black, i agree. I get angry that i have wasted two FRERS in my ttc journey. Both times if i'd waited a few hours i could have saved them. I try to embody Lil. I shall not piss until I'm late. I shall not piss until I'm late. I shall not piss until I'm late.

Fallen it must be odd... You've been here as long as i have! You know us all, but we still need to get to know you. I'm looking forward to it, you seem to have the JS mind set!

Now, ladies! I am seeing the lupus consultant on March 17th. How do i say "why am I not pregnant?!" without bursting in to tears? Wink

CountryGal4 · 09/03/2015 20:46

sky since dec /jan. Off bc oct /nov. You ?

Ainat266 · 09/03/2015 20:48

Lots of us are having early nights tonight! I'm in bed too. DH is watching the football and I'm really not interested in it. Though I have found a programme on channel 5 that's all about CATS! Far more interesting. Shame I've only just found it. Will have to look it up on 5OD.

jelly I feel like it has helped. I told her so much stuff in a short period of time though and now I feel weird. I feel like so many of my secrets aren't secrets any more. Which although is a good thing - there are things that are driving me crazy - I also now feel a sense of loss almost??? Not quite sure I've described it right, but I don't know how else to describe it???

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 09/03/2015 20:48

Oh honey you can do it! And cry if you need to! I have autoimmune disease too. I have a good GP and I see some private consultants. Have you tried HealthUnlocked? sending you a hug!

jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 20:50

:( I don't know honey. I had a tough time today when someone was talking about the wedding and asked me (in front of my colleagues) when are you gonna have kids then. One of my colleagues answerd for me "who wants bloody kids!" And they all laughed. I had to laugh along with them whilst secretly stabbing each one mentally. Hope you manage to get the answers you need though!

I've not POAS since My random mini bleed I don't think (which was late November). I've got a CB digi (the one the tesco man delivered) and 2 FRER's in a cupboard for when I'm "late" :) I refuse to POAS any earlier tbh. Although if I made it past 10DPO I reckon i would be sorely tempted.

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SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 09/03/2015 20:52

country it is still early days for you then, but I bet it feels like eternity. Have only just gone off BC but have been discussing and planning with DP a year or so. Found out I was ill when we looked into ttc the first time. Better now (ish)

CountryGal4 · 09/03/2015 20:59

sky good to hear your better.

It's just hard when your surrounded by people getting pregnant by accident . How do people do that ?!?!

jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 21:02

They don't think about it I guess and they don't have the stress causing any issues. I guess once you start TTC you can never go back to my trying because part of you will always think about it.

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SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 09/03/2015 21:11

I agree with jelly being carefree is a major factor!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 09/03/2015 21:44

You're welcome

Grin
justtheonethen · 09/03/2015 22:07

lemon Grin

Hobbit19 · 09/03/2015 22:43

Just, Eep that is exciting!! I can see exactly bugger all on your stick my love but I never can so I would believe the eyes of the Viroids, they can spot a squinter at 50 paces! Good job I have emptied the bin or would be going through to find previous tests to post to see if I have missed any lines

Also on CD5 Jelly, hello cycle buddy! Although I think you have much more normal shorter cycles than me. My plan is thus; shag like a wrong un all month. Get to 28 days and then test every day weekly as I have no idea when I ov and can't go without wine for a month during my monthlongtww.

Welcome newbies, good to have you on board!

lildottie · 09/03/2015 22:46

after 2 years 4 months I'm over poas. I've lost my thermometer this weekend and I'm not even bothered. probably because I may as well be cd5 with you jelly as cd19 isnt yielding much. I'm going to have to force myself on dh tomorrow after draining him with 2 shags in one night on Saturday.

that Ariana grande/Jesse j/ Nikki minage song bang bang was on earlier and dh started singing along, but changed the words to "bang bang into your womb"!! made me lmao, thought you viroids would appreciate it!

off to look at lemons link...

fallenstar27 · 10/03/2015 06:26

It is a bit odd honey. I feel like I've been watching a reality show, Real Shaggers of MN, anyone? And now I'm part of the cast.

black tell me more of this 100% natural cat food you speak of?

And advice needed, is there any point in me counting withdrawal bleed (which should arrive Thursday) as CD1, or should I just wait and see when af actually comes back?

LaLaLaaaa · 10/03/2015 07:41

Fallen definitely count it. People can get pg straight away, depends on the person. If you start keeping track it'll help you to know when cycles are becoming regular

LaLaLaaaa · 10/03/2015 07:41

Lil keep going! I had 2 weeks of wtf I'm wtf cycle, then it stabilised and I got pg

LaLaLaaaa · 10/03/2015 07:42

*in

jellypi3 · 10/03/2015 07:43

fallen it's a waiting game unfortunately. What BC were you on? Some can last longer than others when coming out of your system. You could be one of the cheaters lucky people who get upduffed quickly after coming off BC though. Follow the JS'er mantra and just shag!!

lil sorry to hear your WTF cycle isn't going well :( although I am keeping everything crossed for you secretly

I've been really nonchalant about temping so far (missed two days) and I've also chucked the CBFM in the back of the drawer so I'm feeling very much like a proper JS'er at the moment.

Oh and I donned the cape twice last night Wink

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 10/03/2015 07:59

Jelly sorry about your colleagues. Smack them next time. But woo hoo on the shagging!

Lil my wtf cycle wasn't wtf at all, it was normal. So who knows?! bloody periods

Re people who get pregnant by accident. Fuck em. sooo jealous

Sky what if those "items" should accidentally end up in your online basket? By accident, you understand. And you accidentally click purchase? That's not a huge problem, right?

lildottie · 10/03/2015 08:42

I'm more bothered about sorting my bloody birthday and mortgage out than ttc atm. its actually quite refreshing!

sky maybe a friend asked you to buy then for her but then got pg and didn't need them? Hmm Grin

honey , la I thought I'd be really fucked off about wtf cycle but I'm not at all. I can't even be arsed with ttc. I'm eating shit, not taking my vits, no longer temping, not done any opks and just shagging for fun not on a deadline. for the first time in over 2 years I'm actually a proper jser!! Grin

should probably get out of bed....Shock