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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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Thread gallery
12
LaLaLaaaa · 09/03/2015 19:18

fallen welcome! That was a super first post - love that you know about cunt hawk and arse rain!

jelly if you're stabilising that's brilliant!

country 9dpo? Too early lovely - hooyah! :)

just hooray! Deffo a line! congratulations x

MyBlackCat · 09/03/2015 19:20

Evening viroids, just catching up.

night we are cycle twins! I am 5dpo too. Normally have a 11/12 day luteal phase so got a bit of a wait yet.

just that looks like a line too me - congrats, about time we had a bfp!!

country sending a Hooya your way!

So my DH has told me tonight that at the end of the month he is going skiing again on an inspection visit for next years school ski trip. Dates not exactly confirmed but looking very likely that it will be my fertile week. don't blame him, it's free and I'd go if I had the chance. Really really hope that we catch this month. Initially I was due to have a 2014 baby, if we miss this month I won't get a 2015 baby Sad

MyBlackCat · 09/03/2015 19:21

Sorry - also welcome to fallen I too lurked for a while before jumping in!

justtheonethen · 09/03/2015 19:22

Really? Not an evap? Not even sure i can see it now! Ill test again in morning obviously. Oh for a frer, couldn't find one anywhere after work.

I'm not sure i believe it is a line, its soooo faint. Collective hallucination Laura?Dp away so no second opinion here, you can be the second opinion - he prob wouldn't even see it!

I am 12dpo, if it is real then would be due on dp birthday!

justtheonethen · 09/03/2015 19:24

Laura?! *maybe!

Stupid kindle

justtheonethen · 09/03/2015 19:26

Hi fallen i too was a massive lurker. Welcome, everyone is great here.

honeysucklejasmine · 09/03/2015 19:26

Just that's a line! Congratulations! What a beauty! Grin

lildottie · 09/03/2015 19:32

just its a squinter but its there. Get a frer when you can. My ICS were proper squinters but frer was solid!

country we have all been there. But testing early is just asking for heartache. And if you did rest in 5 days and get a bfp you'd kick yourself for testing early and making yourself so upset!

stoat I hope getting back to work helps you. I think having been ttc for so long I didn't really believe a baby could be a reality for me and so the idea there still won't be a baby is more frustrating to me now that I'm past the initial upset. It will definitely get better once you are out of limbo. Can you keep waiting longer for mc to finish naturally or will they force surgery? Don't envy your situation. As shit as my mc was and as crap as the support was I think I had it "easy" iyswim. We would've told fil when we saw him yesterday as its his 60th today. I thought seeing him knowing what news WS would gave had would finish me but although it was hard it was a lovely day and I didn't think about it too much.

fallen you stalker you! Glad you finally decided to join us! Welcome to the mad house

gaggiagirl · 09/03/2015 19:37

just weeeeeeeeee! Congratulations!

jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 19:39

Wow gx just but that looks fricking positive!! :D although hooyah to you and country for testing early folks!!!

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CountryGal4 · 09/03/2015 19:41

Thanks all!

Welcome lurkers !

I know lil I know. And if I was pre ovulation then I could be sensible. It's not the Ttc that's making me like this it's the ruddy hormones. I'm finding them really difficult compared to regulated pill hormones.

Right moan over. Pull socks up and be a better viroid!

Newbies do NOT think these last couple of posts are normal for me. I think I need a t shirt that's says I'm sorry for what I said when I was high in progesterone

nightandthelight · 09/03/2015 19:44

When do you test myblack?

justtheonethen · 09/03/2015 19:48

Thoroughly chastised jelly. Fuckity fuck i cant believe it. Grin

justtheonethen · 09/03/2015 19:50

I know naughty viroid slaps hands

Fuckity fuck can't believe it Grin

justtheonethen · 09/03/2015 19:51

Well how did that happen? Thought first was lost! Going to rock in corner

MyBlackCat · 09/03/2015 19:53

night I'm a good JSer and won't test until 14dpo can't face seeing another bfn I'm actually on holiday next week and need to decide whether to pack a frer or tampons - what do you reckon??

jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 19:59

black both? They don't take up much room Wink

I'm being a man again and watching the football. But I will shag DP tonight. I need to dust the cape off.

So just are you testing tomorrow?? And country give it a few days and test again.

Anyone else on CD5 with me?

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justtheonethen · 09/03/2015 20:03

Will test tomorrow and every day in near future
Dust that cape off!

nightandthelight · 09/03/2015 20:10

So is that Wednesday next week myblack? I would say be optimistic but being without tampons could be tricksy Hmm

fallenstar27 · 09/03/2015 20:11

So many lovely welcomes :) Feel like I've been here forever... Oh wait...

I can see a line just but I'm the newest of newbies at this whole thing.

jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 20:22

I'm excited for you just

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Ainat266 · 09/03/2015 20:24

I see a line too just Grin

welcome fallen as others have said, great first post! looking forward to getting to know you, but hope you don't quick around too long! Wink

so... my counsellor session... I don't know what happened to me! I just talked and talked and talked! I didn't think I would be able to do that. I feel weird now though. Not bad weird. just... weird...

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 09/03/2015 20:27

Welcome fallen and congrats just!

I may have POAS today and had a suspect looking evap mark. I won't post it because I am being sensible or because i handled it so much it fell apart

Not even actually sure when I last iced. Last cycle started 16 feb, 27 feb had suspected OV pain and 5 mar had EWCM and copper iud removed. Cycles only predictable in the sense that they are unpredictable... Definitely very hormonal today, hungry like the wolf, and shattered. Only one test left in the box... Will try to save it for a few days yet and curb obsession.

country youre not alone!

MyBlackCat · 09/03/2015 20:27

night yes Wednesday next week will be 14dpo, I'm usually out by then though. I feel that pissing on sticks before AF is late is literally like pissing money down the drain not counting the opks that I piss on daily and I'm tight!

jelly I may take CBFM as if AF is on time I will need to reset it, so will take a test for that

jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 20:27

Do you feel better because of it ain? I've never seen a counsellor or therapist so have no idea what it's like

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