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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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Thread gallery
12
jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 08:59

Hahaha lil I meant to say yesterday. I've got baby brain and I'm a) not gp and b) on CD5! Oops!

night we all get the crazies around 5DPO. I'm going to do my best not to this month to avoid any disappointment as fucking if

How's you lil?

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jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 09:00

I also think my AF's are normalising. This month it was very light (although that could be the fanjo plugs), pretty painless and also only 4 days. Which is how it was before depo.

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SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 09/03/2015 12:25

Glad I could make you giggle lil

honey you temptress! I have definitely not looked at that link then hid my phone under the mattress when DP came in the room like I was looking at Theo James or reading bad erotica. No, old Sky is a virtuos Viroid...

stout i had a bad experience a bit like yours once and you have to let yourself grieve and feel what you're feeling for as long as you need to.

jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 14:39

urgh i think i've pulled a muscle in my back today, just when i was going to get the cape back on! plus my end of AF was short lived, i've got brown slime today!

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fallenstar27 · 09/03/2015 15:09

Hi all, room for another?

I have to admit I've been lurking around you JSers since August for a little while. Circa arse rain and cunt hawk - I mean, how could I not loiter around after that!

Yesterday DH tried to buy a double bed for the spare bedroom to which I jokingly replied, "Is there never going to be a crib in there?" We realised it was time for the conversation and low and behold I chucked my bcp in the back of the drawer and went out for folic acid after work today. We came to the conclusion that we're as ready as we'll ever be and there's no telling how long it might take.

It's a little bit terrifying but also very exciting. Anyway, the last few months of watching you guys (oh god, I sound like a total creeper!) has been hilarious as well as heartbreaking and I'd love to be part of your obscenely honest, tmi, over-sharing friendly group.

jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 15:20

Haha that's the best first time post i've ever seen! Welcome fallenstar :)

What are your stats if you don't mind asking? I remember when we DTD for the first time w/o protection, I was shaking like a leaf I was so nervous (and naieve).

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Stoatystoat · 09/03/2015 15:24

The grieving bit is one thing, it does hurt but I sort of know how to deal with that. Just cry and that's that. I feel really weird being on here at the moment, seeing as I can't shag. It feels like I'm on a football forum and don't have a team or know the rules.

Started back at work and filling my calendar for the year. I can't believe I'm doing this. I should be proper 3 months pregnant counting down to September for maternity leave. I'm so fed up.

fallenstar27 · 09/03/2015 15:27

Hi Jelly

So,

24 (only for another two weeks!)
TTC March 15 I guess!
No DCs, one extremely fluffy cat called Aslan.
Been with DH for 9 years, married since July 13.
And I'm from Scotland :)

jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 15:29

:( stoat i have no words of consolation that can help because I have never been in your position. All I can say is I'm thinking of you. All you viroids who have been through MC, I have so much sympathy for you. I know when I get my BFP I will see it as a baby straight away, even though I tell myself I won't. And to loose that will be a huge emotional blow. So I really do sympathise and think you are so strong to keep trying.

Really sorry for you :(

In other news, I need to start taking some supplements and so does DP. What do you recommend for him and me? I'm totally forgetting to take frolic acid atm. Are pregnacare His and Hers the best?

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jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 15:30

We're practically the same age fallen! I'm 25 on 21st March :D

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jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 15:30

Also yay for more cats :D :D :D

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fallenstar27 · 09/03/2015 15:52

stoat I can't begin to comprehend what you're going through :( I can imagine it must be tough coming here when your not able to ttc just now. From what I've seen you guys are so incredibly supportive of each other and that's so amazing to see considering we're all just strangers with the same goal but completely different journey's.

March 27th jelly :) I bought Seven Seas Trying for a Baby, it was cheaper and had folic acid, iron and vit d which seem like the main ones you need. Haven't bought DH anything but told him he can't have boiling hot baths anymore!

jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 15:57

I might have a butchers at the seven sea's ones (or boots equivalent)

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Stoatystoat · 09/03/2015 16:31

Thanks ladies. Sorry I'm so miserable. I hate to admit it that I'm getting so upset and jealous over not being able to have sex with DH. I've always liked it enough, but my sex drive has never been at the forefront of my mind. I feel like I really need that closeness, it's not just the TTC angle. I feel that this MC has robbed me of so much. I'm even envious about periods.

jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 16:41

can you not even DTD with protection stoat? or is it a big no no

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gaggiagirl · 09/03/2015 16:41

Welcome fallen

stoat are you still in limbo? This cant be helping you at all. How has work been?

Stoatystoat · 09/03/2015 16:47

It's a no no - risk of infection and I'm not sure DH would be on board right now in any way. I have hospital on Friday 13th to scan check on my 'retained products' but I haven't had much blood so very much doubt there will have been any change. That's partly why I'm grumpy as that will mean surgery that I am extremely reluctant to have.

Work have been nice, I haven't had to worry about that at all and I do like my job very much. I went to make a brew earlier and got a couple of cuddles (everyone knows).

Hi fallen sorry for being a misery guts. Good luck and may your stay be short!

honeysucklejasmine · 09/03/2015 17:09

Ha! Welcome Fallen! Glad you've come out of the woodwork. Grin There's always room for more one more.

Stoat what excuse have they made for keeping you in limbo for so long? Angry

Stoatystoat · 09/03/2015 18:06

They gave me the option of natural, medical or surgical. I chose medical and if that had fully worked it would be over (I definitely passed the main thing, sorry) but it's not completed. So they scan me again to give it a while longer.

But it could take a while longer yet, I'd only just be 12 weeks and getting scans when MMC are generally picked up and the mc still might not have started.

CountryGal4 · 09/03/2015 18:09

I'm posting this to shame myself. 9 days dpo and not even fmu. Wtf. I really struggle with luteal. Progesterone is not my friend. It makes my joints terrible my face disgusting and gives me a raging head ache. I don't feel like myself. I'm being a pathetic viroid. Bring on the slaps

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!
justtheonethen · 09/03/2015 18:49

So I know we don't test early but I'm crap at anything will power related. Pissed on this bad boy and I feel like there is the faintest line, like a proper squinter.

If I just have line eye then please please give me a massive slap. It's prob an evap isn't it. Not even sure why I'm asking, I am ashamed!

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!
justtheonethen · 09/03/2015 18:50

Country didn't see your post, we are all the same don't worry x

Lemondrizzletwunt · 09/03/2015 18:58

Just that is definitely a line old girl!!!! Congratufuckinglations!!!!

nightandthelight · 09/03/2015 19:01

I can see a line!

CountryGal4 · 09/03/2015 19:01

just that's a line. How many dpo? Well done your not crazy.

On the other hand I Definately am!!

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