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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
CountryGal4 · 08/03/2015 12:48

No af. Based on icing as confirmed by opk circa last sat. From what I can gather I think I've got a 12 day lp. Hormonal mood has also hit today like clockwork so seems to confirm my dates are about right

CountryGal4 · 08/03/2015 12:50

Also my osteo gave my pituitary gland a good talking to then I iced 5 days after. That could be a coincidence though

honeysucklejasmine · 08/03/2015 13:07

Oh my god, my uterus really hurts! I have had to cancel lunch plans, and baby shower later is looking unlikely. But it's my BFF! I must go! Having endo and ttc is so fucking miserable. Not only have you once again failed to do something our species has done for thousands of years, but also, it's going to hurt like a bitch and ruin your life. All so you can try and fail again next month. Sad

Hobbit19 · 08/03/2015 13:33

Oh no honey, can you drug up and go? You will get your BFP, it just takes time, and we all don't help because we are all so impatient too! If you do make it to the baby shower, eat lots of cake!

honeysucklejasmine · 08/03/2015 13:53

I'm already drugged up. Sad There is nothing more for me unless they change their mind on prescribing oramorph. The reason we are ttc is because the pain is unbearable and i want to get some kids and get rid of my uterus pronto.

honeysucklejasmine · 08/03/2015 13:54

On the plus side, i've been told labour will be a breeze!

Hobbit19 · 08/03/2015 14:09

Well at least you can see a bright side! Does it effect your chances of ttc?

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 08/03/2015 16:35

Oh honey that sounds rough. I have poor health too. You're very upbeat though (not sarcastic) feel better soon Cake

Lemondrizzletwunt · 08/03/2015 17:10

Lauren on the grads fred has just had her baby!

jellypi3 · 08/03/2015 17:55

Oh shit she's early though! She joined when I did and did a kitten

OP posts:
Hobbit19 · 08/03/2015 18:48

Yey for babies! Seems like a totally unrealistic thing from this end doesn't it?! AF came back so don't think it was IB. Going for EOD (mostly) this month with renewed vigour! Smile

honeysucklejasmine · 08/03/2015 19:55

Lol Sky thanks lovely. Smile

Yes, all three of my medical conditions make ttc and carrying much harder. Hence general miserable mood today!

Gosh, Lauren already?! Wowsers!

Ainat266 · 08/03/2015 20:23

honey hope you're feeling okay. x

JC I just had to Google Theo James too... Well hello there...!!!

I have no news to report really. Just swooping in to catch up on the days activities. Had a pretty boring Sunday afternoon inputting data. Fun times. Can you hear the sarcasm!

Had a normal if there is such a thing day in terms of mood. Made a nice change from the hormonal craziness that's been going on in my life lately. I have my appointment with the school counsellor tomorrow. I reckon she's going to advise that I book an appointment to see a private counsellor - which may be what I need. Hopefully she'll be able to help me find one to book with...

Hobbit19 · 08/03/2015 22:11

Glad you had a better day Ain, hope it goes well tomorrow.

Who's testing next?

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 08/03/2015 22:29

Somebody I know, let's say a friend... Might have done a lemon at 2dpo. A bit like Chandler on Friends using up Monicas OPK for a laugh. Cause POAS is a totally normal and super fun hobby, am I right?! whistles innocently PS she gets her pissy sticks 3 for 1 at Savers Pharmacy and they are the kind you get at the doctors. I mean, um, that's what she said Blush

LaLaLaaaa · 08/03/2015 22:31

Grin Sky that made me laugh. I think my earliest was 4/5dpo

honeysucklejasmine · 08/03/2015 22:53

Sky I have never ever ever bought these to suit my illicit POAS activities. Ever.

Ain feeling a bit better this evening. Thanks sweetie. Smile

I had a good time at the baby shower. There was a 3 day old new born and a two week old, a 10 week old and a 6 month old, so lots of bubbas around. Was a lovely event. Especially because several people had made something so it was nice to look at all the different patterns people used. I made a flower puff blanket which was fun but very very time consuming.

However I seem incapable of sitting and not doing anything, so have now started an entrelac afghan blanket although I am regretting my colour choice so might start again. I went for coral and cream, but not sure. I think I will continue with it anyway. Who knows, might decide I like it. Grin

Stoatystoat · 08/03/2015 23:45

Hello la and viroids.
I've been unsure of whether to post or not, I'm in grief and limbo so not wanting to bring the fred down and it's hard technically having something in my uterus but not being pregnant but not able to TTC. I went out with my friend for dinner and cocktails last night and that was nice, but today has been hard. It's been two weeks since the MC. I am back at work tomorrow.

A friend keeps messaging me to remember there are silver linings. I can't see any, maybe I'm thick as mince. I keep ignoring this platitude.

honeysucklejasmine · 09/03/2015 00:08

Hi Stoat. Please don't worry about "bringing us down"... We're on this journey together and sometimes it sucks major arse. And we all know that, some from experience, and want to support you. You've had a really shitty time with the poor excuse for medical treatment and I really feel for you. Really glad you had a good night, cocktails are the best. As for silver linings .... Da fuq?! I'd tell them to STFU so well done on just ignoring!

jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 07:40

Aww stoat you aren't bringing us down don't worry. You will get there soon x

The wicked witch is dead! A short AF for me this month so back with the cape tonight! Although I'm aching from football tomorrow!

OP posts:
CountryGal4 · 09/03/2015 07:41

Please tell me I'm not the only one testing this week

nightandthelight · 09/03/2015 07:55

Stabbing pains in my abdomen this morning, convinced myself it was implantation. Am only 5dpo, please talk sense into me!

jellypi3 · 09/03/2015 08:29

Implantation can happen at 5DPO. But don't get your hopes up. I had stabby pain at 5 and 7 DPO this month, but it wasn't anything.

Hooyah to you night!

OP posts:
lildottie · 09/03/2015 08:32

jelly you are already aching before you've done football?

nightandthelight · 09/03/2015 08:53

Thanks jelly I know I am being stupid. TWW is a nightmare. Happy Monday everyone Hmm

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