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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
jellypi3 · 07/03/2015 14:17

good news on the weight ain :) sorry the doctor was shite though!

i've also put some washing on!

OP posts:
lildottie · 07/03/2015 16:02

that's fantastic ain! keep up the good work. sorry the Dr was shit. are you going to book straight back in with a better one? maybe the one who started u on the metformin?

Hobbit19 · 07/03/2015 17:25

Well done Ain! She says, eating a creme egg.

Have to say Viroids, ERTOD has been a thorough let down, and I was so looking forward to it. Pre-BC AF was epic, barf inducing, absolute flooding in the pants department, terrible cramps etc. All I have is a polite trickle. How dull. I reckon this means my body is still working it all out and that I'm not really ready yet. Oh well, will shag anyway this month/cycle and at least I don't feel horrible with it!

Jcandy · 07/03/2015 17:55

Haha one guess that means my body is working then coz I feel like shit! You are welcome to this lol. Went on a lovely walk though which has cheered me up. Plus it's almost wine time!!

Well done ain Smile I would recommend measuring yourself coz that's the only way I could tell I was losing weight when I did coz I couldn't see it in the mirror but the tape measure didn't lie!

jellypi3 · 07/03/2015 19:06

The witch is easing up today so hoping she will be gone in a couple of days :) I'm due to ice on my 25th birthday according to FF!

OP posts:
auroraboringalis · 07/03/2015 19:32

Flowers for everyone!

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 07/03/2015 20:44

Evening viroids! Cake and Wine for you all and [tea] for the ones with the beans. Am currently 2dpo, BC free, and my cape is collecting dust in the back of the closet Sad

Well done lil and honey I am in fact a Michael Buble fan not really

Ainat266 · 07/03/2015 22:17

Thanks for the support on the weight loss guys. I kinda ruined it a little tonight - we had Dominoes! Dominoes and enjoying bad t.v. Though it's okay. I'll just have to fit in a few extra shagging sessions to burn the extra calories. Wink.

How's everyone else's Saturday night going?

lildottie · 07/03/2015 22:41

my Saturday night was ace - 2 shags in 3 hours in a lovely comfy premier inn bed Wink

jelly I meant to say re your horny while af in town woes - the new tampon introduction can help with that! obviously not for intercourse but it keeps everything clean enough for dp to have access to your clit! Grin

ain you have to have the odd night off with the food otherwise you will hate food! I just try not to overdo it but still have what I want. eg I don't let dh order a large pizza because I know we never eat it all and are always stuffed after - a medium is plenty! telling dh that is a whole different difficulty though!

been trying to decide what to do for my 30th tonight. think I've decided on a spa in the morning, afternoon tea with loads of family and friends then a hotel with dh in the evening.

Jcandy · 07/03/2015 23:24

That sounds like a lovely plan for your 30th lil Smile I had everyone round for a bbq with mine, it was only a week after we'd moved in to our new home so it was like a house warming tooGrin

Mmmm just watched Divergent and I have to say helllllloooo Theo James Wink

CountryGal4 · 08/03/2015 09:11

Dh took me out for a belated vals day meal last night. Was lovely but he toasted my womb being "productive" no pressure. Haha. Feeling a bit emotional today. Right on course for af on Thursday

Lemondrizzletwunt · 08/03/2015 09:43

Hi all, just checking in to say I am reading everything so lurking but this week has been pretty fucking busy so sorry I haven't been in touch.

jel you asked how I was feeling...well, a little bit sicky first thing in the mornings, yay! Still having womble stretching sensations going on, and dribbly knicker.

Told my best friends last night, who were both shocked and over the moon!

Seeing my mum for lunch today, and very tempted to tell her, although have a whole antibiotics story worked out involving BV so the subject gets changed quickly Grin

Ain well done on the weight loss, and yes, you definitely do have to treat yourself once in a while, otherwise you're more likely to jack it all in in favour of Cake and Wine and Biscuit Biscuit Biscuit

Lil you shagger, you! 30th plans sound great by the way, when is it again?

JC

Sky I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you! I would sprinkle baby dust (but I'm not a wanker who says shit like that)

One your posts make me ROFL, I think we have a very similar sense of humour and I may well pass you my torch of filth when I am gone

Lemondrizzletwunt · 08/03/2015 09:45

Fuck me, JC that's just made the dribbly knicker a whole lot worse!

Hobbit19 · 08/03/2015 10:16

Pa ha ha! Lemon, I will proudly carry your torch of filth, but you must come and visit us often!
Well AF has well and truly buggered off, what an anti climax! 48 hours of light bleeding definitely not considering implantation bleed. Happy Sunday Viroids Smile

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 08/03/2015 10:46

Oh gx for implantation bleed one! I had that with DD and was sure it was a short, early AF.

Thanks lemon

Happy sunday all you shaggers flowers

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 08/03/2015 10:47

Make thát Flowers

Hobbit19 · 08/03/2015 10:48

Hmmmm, maybe but the very first but was bright red so maybe not. Will test on Weds am to see, think it is too early now.

CountryGal4 · 08/03/2015 10:52

Pud what dpo are you?

Hobbit19 · 08/03/2015 10:59

Literally no idea Country, I was on CD40 when bleeding started. My body is still sorting it's life out after coming off BC in late Nov. Had a withdrawal bleed and then a period after 38 days but that lasted for 7 days which is normal for me. Then epically long cycle (lots of bfns) then 2 day light bleed. No idea! Might pop to the GP in Easter holidays just to check in.

CountryGal4 · 08/03/2015 11:09

Post bc cycles suuuck. This cycles looking like it will be 36 days previous was 41

Hobbit19 · 08/03/2015 11:13

Yes they do! Finding

Hobbit19 · 08/03/2015 11:15

It difficult to pin point icing etc. Oh well, will just keep shagging and testing! Will take about 6 months for body to sort it's life out I reckon.

Jcandy · 08/03/2015 12:18

Haha glad you liked lemon! Wink

Sounds like a good plan you have there one I've decided to go for the lots of shagging this month. still going to temp but throwing the pissy sticks out the window like a good jser and donning my cape instead, just as soon as the witch has left! I warned dp and he seems in agreement.

Jcandy · 08/03/2015 12:19

36 is better country, remind me has AF arrived? Or do you know that by icing knowledge?

LaLaLaaaa · 08/03/2015 12:20

Pud can you say...implantation bleed? ;)