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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
jellypi3 · 06/03/2015 12:12

love that guardian entry!!

OP posts:
MyBlackCat · 06/03/2015 13:15

Arrrrgghhh I knew that was what you would say! I don't temp honey we did shag in the evening of ovulation according to contraband which was day after first peak so gx there is enough sperm up there. Today's ewcm was thicker and creamier than that around ovulation which Google says can happen clutching at straws and only believing google when it says what I want it to say

honeysucklejasmine · 06/03/2015 14:24

As long as you dtd within 5 days of icing, you're not out. Smile Sperm live a while inside you. creepy as fuck

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 06/03/2015 16:10

First attempt at linking for cat en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickrolling

honeysucklejasmine · 06/03/2015 16:12

I don't get how you are going to Rickroll in relation to sex. Unless you are going to "psych!" him, of course. Grin

My friend had a baby yesterday. I am genuinely 100% pleased! Not even a tiny bit jealous! Really happy for her, and me for not being upset about it.

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 06/03/2015 17:19

honey well done for being happy for your friend. Very gracious of you.

Re: rickrolled- I have co-opted the phrase to reference the bait and switch tactic. TV watching is always a good ruse for slouching around in sexy nightwear and getting his attention Grin

CountryGal4 · 06/03/2015 17:35

aurora how's cd 6 treating you?

Jcandy · 06/03/2015 17:36

So I've just started bleeding Hmm I'm only 11dpo according to FF (though it may of course be wrong). I've always had a 13 day lp, any ideas what's going on? Got cramps too so I think it is AF

CountryGal4 · 06/03/2015 17:43

JC implantation??

honeysucklejasmine · 06/03/2015 18:29

Lol Sky, sounding rather sarcastic then! Wink

Jcandy · 06/03/2015 19:01

Think it's too red and too much for that country Sad plus I've got cramps, isn't it normally one or the other?

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 06/03/2015 19:17

I mean it honey, wasn't being sarcastic! I'm not British! I keep forgetting that over here it comes off totally different! My ex had a new girlfriend once and she was so over the top nice to me I couldn't bear it... She meant it too, wasn't even passive aggressive, just a Yank thing...

CountryGal4 · 06/03/2015 19:18

No idea sorry JC. I'm sure a viroid who knows more can comment. I know nothing
:(

mountaingirl01 · 06/03/2015 19:23

Cramps not bad, but I'm afraid the redness may be a sign of AF :( I had breakthrough bleeding both pregnancies, and it is remarkably like af, but generally not red. hate being the voice of doom

CountryGal4 · 06/03/2015 19:41

I know your not supposed to drink when twoting buuuut dh just opened the prosecco .....

Jcandy · 06/03/2015 19:42

That's ok Mountain I was being realistic myself and although unexpected at this point it definitely seems like AF to me. It's caught me unawares this month Sad I wasn't ready yet, I hadn't prepared myself enough!

jellypi3 · 06/03/2015 19:44

Oh no jc I had my hopes on you this month. :(

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 06/03/2015 20:53

Lol Sky, no worries, only joking! Wink Where are you from? DH is a yank but has a British soul, so fits right in.

Sorry JC Sad

Ainat266 · 06/03/2015 21:11

Another vivid dream last night. Not a bad one - this one was just general work related things, though it meant I woke up feeling like I'd already been at work all day. All this lack of sleep/decent quality sleep definitely isn't helping my general well-being. I'm feeling pretty run down and glad it's the weekend. Doesn't help that I've caught the lurgy - probably off of a kid in my class. I've books a doc appointment for tomorrow to discuss these dreams/possible metformin link and see what they suggest.

Found out today that someone I know is in the early stages of pregnancy - she's posted that she's having twins on facebook and that she's 7 and a half weeks gone (guessing she must have had an early scan or something?) Thing that annoys me is that I know she is a single mum already and this pregnancy is another accident. Argh! How do people do this getting pregnant by accident thing? Why can't I do it when I'm trying? Sorry, rant over...

Hope everyone's okay and has a good weekend planned. I'm planning on being super lazy this weekend - even getting Sainsburys to deliver my shopping this weekend so I don't have to go out and do that either. Do have to input all my data on my kids but we'll forget about that temporarily.

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 06/03/2015 21:33

I come from the land of maple syrup honey

lildottie · 06/03/2015 22:07

ah the place where they can't say "about" properly sky! Wink

jelly glad you're getting on OK with the fanjo plugs. dryness is definitely nbecause you were using the wrong ones. I get a bit of dryness at end of AF sometimes. and I did warn u about the it not being high up enough if u can feel it! but sounds like you just had too big a type!

ain gald you got drs appt sorted. definitely ask about bringing about AF and/or clomid.

night welcome, try not to let this lot fuel any obsessiveness, they're a bad bunch who will lead you astray.

no idea wtf is going on with my body. cd16 and temps are still high. normally 36.4 pre icing and 36.7 post icing. I've had 2 temps of 36.41 and the rest have been 36.63, 36.77, 36.81!! if half my total blood volume hadn't fallen out of me 2weeks ago of say I was still pg! good job I'm too busy with work to obsess about ttc! going away for weekend to surprise fil for his 60ty on Sunday so will be nice to get away. mortgage co wanted to know why we r buying a 5 bed house when there are only 2 of us. because I was facing the possibility of having twins this year you cunts, but it was ripped away from me so now I'll just have empty rooms, but gee thanks for the reminder! grr. what business is it of there's why I want 5 bedrooms anyway!

honeysucklejasmine · 06/03/2015 23:13

Oh, Canada! Lovely! I'd like to go to Vancouver or Montreal for holidays. I've been skiing in BC before, near Banff.

auroraboringalis · 07/03/2015 05:45

Fucking af arrived yesterday. Angry

MyBlackCat · 07/03/2015 07:29

Sorry jc and aurora that the bitch witch got you.

I'm currently at that stage of the cycle (3dpo) where I am now convinced we didn't do enough and messed up the timings even though 48hrs ago I was well pleased with our efforts.

In other news WTF and I doing awake at 7.30am when I don't have to go to work today? Idiot. Have waxing appointment later - joy x

honeysucklejasmine · 07/03/2015 07:36

I'm awake too. Weird dreams woke me up.

Sorry aurora Sad

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