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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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Thread gallery
12
jellypi3 · 05/03/2015 13:58

oh balls i didn't know you should use lightest ones, i got the super plus ones....maybe that's why it's uncomfortable?

i feel like a teenager again!

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jellypi3 · 05/03/2015 14:06

right i'v got some smaller ones and changed it now, this one is a lot more comfy, although it hurt quite a lot taking the last one out and putting this one in. I'm....dry.....down there so it was really quite painful :(

I'm starting to like pads more and more

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Lemondrizzletwunt · 05/03/2015 14:24

Oh Jelly poor you, that's why I switched to a mooncup, I couldn't handle the dryness. When you put it in just make sure it's as far in as your finger can get it, and then it should be in the right place.

Lemondrizzletwunt · 05/03/2015 14:25

Oh, and meant to say I didn't used to change mine until I began to leak, or 8 hours, whichever was sooner. Have left them in for 12 hours before with no problems, but that's not in accordance with the advice sheet!

ZylaB · 05/03/2015 14:37

The dry feeling shouldn't be there when you're using the right absorbency jelly :)

honeysucklejasmine · 05/03/2015 14:39

Gaggia you've been quoted in the Telegraph! See MI5 and Mumsnet thread!

nightandthelight · 05/03/2015 14:39

Any tips ladies on how to have shed loads of sex without DH feeling like a sperm machine? Really struggled with that this month :(

jellypi3 · 05/03/2015 15:31

where's gaggias quote??? can you link??

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jellypi3 · 05/03/2015 15:33

hahaa just seen it, your famous g!!!! :D

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jellypi3 · 05/03/2015 15:35

night, for me what worked was we basically bad "in charge" days, so at the moment I am in charge until we have sex. I need to make it as fun as possible, and once we DTD he is in charge. It gives him some control and also takes off some of the pressure because he was normally the insitigator in our relationship.

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nightandthelight · 05/03/2015 15:47

How do you mean 'in charge' *jelly! I am intrigued!

Hobbit19 · 05/03/2015 15:59

Toot ta toot to oooooh! (That was a fanfare), after 48 ish days AF has finally arrived!! So good news on two fronts, firstly I do still have a uterus and secondly I may not be completely losing my marbles and have just had monster PMT this week. (There have been a lot of tears). So Yey for that but boo not getting my cake/marching band/dancing girls for getting to CD50. Will be having a glass of wine tonight though not that I ever actually stoppped.

Welcome night Smile

honeysucklejasmine · 05/03/2015 16:01

If i recall, the style and timing of Jellys next shag fest is her responsibility/decision. Then afterwards her DF will take control and decide when it happens next.

Oh! And hi! waves Welcome!

I am all mucous filled recently. Pant snot. Lots of it.

nightandthelight · 05/03/2015 16:07

Thanks for the welcome one and congrats on the arrival of AF (not something I usually say but from the sound of your post it's a good thing?

Thanks for the explanation honey, sound a like a really good idea. Will run it past DH tonight :)

Hobbit19 · 05/03/2015 17:21

Get shagging honey!

jellypi3 · 05/03/2015 17:33

yeh honey had the gist of it there! :) it's worked quite well for us actually because DP was getting stage fright at one point :)

honey aren't you a couple of DPO??? EWCM???

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jellypi3 · 05/03/2015 17:34

oh and yay for AF pud :D :D :D

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Jcandy · 05/03/2015 17:35

Welcome night Smile

Been almost in tears today loads of times! Managed to keep it in thankfully coz its completely irrational! I hate pmt Sad at least I'm thinking that's probably what it is

CountryGal4 · 05/03/2015 17:43

Yay pud!!

Welcome night!

I'm bored of shit all days past dpo boooooo

jellypi3 · 05/03/2015 17:55

:( jc sucks doesn't it. Weirdly I feel a lot more happier today so I think my doom and gloom posts the last few days were because of PMT so for that I apologise lol.

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Hobbit19 · 05/03/2015 18:16

PMT is nasty, I haven't had it properly for 15 years. Was genuinely concerned that I was going to have a nervous breakdown on Friday. not that I am dramatic.

CountryGal4 · 05/03/2015 18:30

Haha also been ten years without it. Dh now thinks I'm mental and is concerned I might be like this forever

Hobbit19 · 05/03/2015 18:48

Ha ha ha!

honeysucklejasmine · 05/03/2015 19:34

Yes, 8DPO! It's more "creamy" than anything... TMI alert... My vag feels slippery when i wipe after weeing.

CountryGal4 · 05/03/2015 19:38

Slippery fanny? Haha

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