Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Hold the phone, aurora you know about soil???

Thank you all for your good wishes! Sorry I wasn't in touch much yesterday- had a meeting at work and then DH's bday.

Stoat I'm so sorry you're STILL having to deal with all this. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it.

Jelly today I am scared! And worried about being fat. My BMI is 30.8, so I am officially obese (cunts) and am therefore classed as high-risk. Am kind of hoping I get terrible morning sickness so I can lose the alb that's tipping me into the obese category

Uhm. Yes?

I'd never guess it from your pictures lemon, and I don't think they just look at BMI, they also look at general health as well. My friend had a BMI of 36, but because she was healthy otherwise (and only 24) she didn't have to go consultant led or anything.

Ooooh does it relate to your job? I'm intrigued! It's definitely an unusual thing to know about

Jelly thanks! I think I wear it well Well, I hope I am as healthy as an ox otherwise, I really don't want to go into hospital, I want my baby at home. That's good news about your friend though, and very comforting.

wow you want a home birth? this is your first isn't it? i lvoe the idea of home birth but i think i'd be too scared

Yep, my first. I want it for a whole host of reasons, but I actually think home birth is safer, as having done a lot of reading. It somehow feels more private and less medicalised as well, which is nice. However, we'll see if I still feel the same way when I have a bump and cankles!

Sorry that post sounded smug and patronising, I didn't mean it like that at all

I just meant that I am a bit of a lentil-weaver and don't necessarily think we need to go to hospital to give birth, and sometimes not going can help as it limits unnecessary intervention.

Not smug at all, we each have our own preferences. If I ever get pregnant again, I'm opting for the opposite, all the drugs and pain relief I can get.

I feel really weird about the medicalisation of pregnancy and childbirth. Mainly because they want it all on their terms (I am an academic and this is an area of study for me, so I'm a bit too clued up). I'm shocked at my options for this mc being to have a GA or a pessary and go home and mc into Tupperware. The second option suited me best but they just don't care about you and I'm shocked. I understand why people prefer home birth now.

lemon I had my first at home and it went fine and it was great to have the cat my own surroundings around me. I was close enough to the hospital to be transfered if something went wrong, and my midwife was very clear about what she considered going wrong to mean, so we knew where we stood. We were lucky in that, like the vast majority of home births, everything was straightforward for me and DC.

cramping on the left side today. :-(

I also seem to have lost my appetite lately. though saying that, I'm planning on having home made chicken pie tonight. I'm sure that will boost it a bit. my nan's pies are yummy!

I'll phone the doctors in themorning, see if I can get an appointment for either the evening or Saturday..

its just all taking its toll a bit now I think. Maybe some online shopping is needed. retail therapy!!!

retail therapy is a great idea ain!!

lemon yes, partly. Research is a many splendid thing. Unfortunately it never comes up in pub quizzes, would you believe it and if does the answer is invariably "loam". And I really don't know anything about football or 90's children's TV as I am too old so I just doodle on the team sheet and drink cider.

Hello ladies! Can I please join? On the March bus but lots of people on there temping etc and I want to take a more relaxed approach. How do you like stats done on here?

See the first page: just name, age, DC and TTC history. Welcome to JSing!

Thanks Stoat :)
Name: nightandthelight
Age: 26
DC: 2 cats
TTC: Cycle 1, 1dpo (I think)

Hello night waves, hides opks

Lots of fur babies on here!

Good luck, hope you won't be here too long!

Hi Aurora, quick stash them in your handbag!

Thanks for the lovely welcome stoat am glad that I am among other animal lovers!

Oh yes, many many crazy cat ladies animal lovers here

The mantra here is just to shag, but it's not always so easy. We do lots of obsessing too, but like to take our minds off it with much talk of filth and strange videos we find on tinterweb.

hello night welcome :) we are a filthy bunch so I hope that doesn't scare you off!

I've told DP i'm not taking any supplements this month and he is ok with it, he admitted he was getting a bit carried away with it, so we are going to try and relax this month. Besides, it's my birthday this month so we need to enjoy it

Do fanjo plugs comes in different sizes. I am very...aware...of this one stuffed up there right now, it's rather uncomfortable. Although I will give it to you, a lot cleaner than pads!

Yes they do, jelly. If you are 'aware' of it, it might be too low...did you use applicator ones?

no just the "shove em up there" ones. Maybe i'm thinking about it too much? I can't feel it when i'm sitting down but can when I'm standing up? I followed the instructions but I'm sure sure if I have done it 100% right? The pictures they show aren't easy to follow.

also should I change it every 2-4 hours? i'm very very light at the moment so there's not much to change

jelly if you can feel it at all it's too low, take it out and try with a new one :)

I think they can stay in longer than that (am I right to say up to 8 hours as they're ok overnight? Check this though I don't want to tell you wrongly). To be honest I've always used ones with applicators, find it a lot easier to put them in. The right place iyswim?! They do come in different absorbencies and you should use the lightest kne you can for each stage of AF, this reduces any of the very small chance of toxic shock syndrome.

I'm a non applicator girl - I just shove them up there and find regular suits my flow. I don't use them overnight, use a pad instead but only need that for first couple of nights as mine seems to sleep when I do

Wouldn't mind a nine month break from them though......