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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
24
gaggiagirl · 15/02/2015 10:50

Good luck for Tuesday kez!

jellypi3 · 15/02/2015 12:58

honey your cd8 I think :)

Stoatystoat · 15/02/2015 17:11

I am so confused today. Feeling like am having stretching pains in my tummy and feel sick.

Lemondrizzletwunt · 15/02/2015 17:25

Stoat that sounds like a positive thing? How is pant watch? xxx

Stoatystoat · 15/02/2015 17:26

Good so far.

I really don't want to get my hopes up, but in my bones, it feels like there's something there

lildottie · 15/02/2015 17:30

stoat I am in limbo with you. lines on test have all but disappeared so I'm going in for a blood test tomorrow. hope these are good signs for you Thanks

honeysucklejasmine · 15/02/2015 17:31

Thanks Jelly! I knew you'd know... I tend to lose track after a while! It's not action time yet. (EWCM due from tomorrow!)

honeysucklejasmine · 15/02/2015 17:33

Lil is it a problem of too much HCG perhaps? Flowers GX.

Stoatystoat · 15/02/2015 17:33

Oh shitting hell lil, I'm sorry you're going through this too. Bloody nightmare. Here to keep you company. I really hope you get a good answer, this isn't what's supposed to happen.

rachelrawrrr · 15/02/2015 17:34

sorry I've not been on in a few days guys, I'm really ill Sad I suffer from severe gastritis and it's just not calming down. 3 days without food and water, ugh I don't know how I can keep this up. working tomorrow Sad

how are you all?

lildottie · 15/02/2015 17:39

no its not stoat we're supposed to be worrying about getting fat and how we'll hide it for the next few weeks.

honey I've considered that, its called hook effect. more likely with multiples so I'm clinging onto that being a possibility. but I would've thought I'd seem much darker lines first. just got to wait for tomorrow and see what the beta hcg numbers are. dh and I have just sat staring at each other most of the day.

jellypi3 · 15/02/2015 17:47

Oh shit lil. I'll keep everything crossed for your test tomorrow. Have you had any spotting or anything?

lildottie · 15/02/2015 18:17

no nothing jelly but I don't know of the progesterone pessaries would stop it.

kezaroo · 15/02/2015 18:42

Everything crossed for you lil xx

I couldn't wait - just done a test and bfn... No surprise there! Sad

auroraboringalis · 15/02/2015 19:24

Xfxfxfxfx lil. Hook effect hopes!
Sorry to hear you're down and out rach. I'd recommend gin and shagging to cheer you up but I guess it is not the optimal medicine. Hmm

auroraboringalis · 15/02/2015 19:25

Sympathies kez. We are foolish impatient creatures. I speak from recent experience. Blush

rachelrawrrr · 15/02/2015 19:37

thanks aurora, I've been gagging for a shag wanting to dtd for a couple of days but right before we were going to, the gastritis hit me like a shotgun to the gut. I can't seem to go 2 weeks without having a flare up.. which has me worried because it can cause internal bleeding, so I'm off to the doctors tomorrow! god knows how I'm gonna cope if I get upduffed, because I couldn't take half the stuff I'm on! Angry fucking bodies!!!!!!

honeysucklejasmine · 15/02/2015 20:50

Lil no matter what, keep calm. You have a whole shed load of PMA behind you. We love Lil and Mr Lil. Flowers

Poochieblue · 15/02/2015 21:12

just popped in for a catch up- couldn't read and run! sending positive thoughts, vibes, hugs and hopes all round!!! just wishing with everything I have that you're all going to be ok! keep us updated xxxx

jellypi3 · 15/02/2015 21:27

Yeh PMA lil. Let us know how tomorrow goes. Will you get the results straight away

honeysucklejasmine · 16/02/2015 07:17

I officially give up with tempting this month. I had a bit of a temperature last night (i was very warm) so took my temp for a giggle. It was 37.9 and my thermometer went mad, beeping a "fever warning". Took it again when i woke up and it was 37.1, so today is totally out. Its usually between 36.2-36.8 depending on cycle stage. So, i give up! Will just shag!

jellypi3 · 16/02/2015 08:46

It's probably the cold honey. When I had a cold my temperature shot up really high.

lil how are you today x

Jcandy · 16/02/2015 08:48

Yeah sounds like you've probably got a bit of a virus honey mine was up a bit this morning and I'm generally feeling unwell/achy. Gotta muster the energy for some cape action tonight though.

Jcandy · 16/02/2015 08:50

How's it going lil? Thinking of you, with a positive attitude

jellypi3 · 16/02/2015 08:59

And stoat how are you today